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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #581
    filling some space Array UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    What kind of kinship, similarity or companionship do you feel with the ENTJ?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #582
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I dunno if she's an ESTJ. She's ExTx, without a doubt, but besides that... she could be an ENTx, still, possibly (some of that sounded ENTJ). But yeah, I'd say I'm 75% sure she's ESTJ.

    Do you have any other helpful details? e.g. is she an inside-the-box thinker? Does she tend to take things literally?

    Thoughts, anybody?
    Thanks for the answer!

    I forgot to add that additional information. I didn't think she was an N, she bases her entire decisions on experiences, and she speaks from experience, all the time! Sometimes, I think she's way too practical. I love playing video games and she knows that, and when I told her to play some games with me, she said

    "well, I don't think video games are at all, realistic, I don't see the point of playing it."

    But she will play because of me, she's my close friend.

    But whenever we'd get into an argument, she'd have a hard time admitting to what wrong she's done and definitely has a hard time saying "I'm sorry". Whenever I try to tell her something or something that shes wrong in, or she hurt my feelings, I always have to prove it.

    When we'd debate, as always, she always goes for the facts. I asked her if she preferred to go by the system, she thinks that the system sometimes could be illogical.

    When I ask her "what do you mean", she leaves me with an answer that "what do you think"?

    or if I wanted her to explain something to me clearly, she'd always say that it didnt matter!

    She also prefers someone who has compassion and at the same time, efficient. Without efficiency, you shouldn't belong to a job. She's not very creative, or thinks "outside the box". She lacks of appreciation for art. She won't say a compliment, at all, not unless she truly means it. She's easily irritated by the people who keeps bombing her with compliments, she's being skeptic about them, thats why.

    shes also so straightforward!

    She told one of the people who hanged with us in a group when he couldn't afford anything while we were standing in a line to get food and he wanted a pizza that costed $3 but he didnt have enough money and he asked her for money, she said,

    "well that's too bad, I can pay for you but pick something that's not too expensive."

    wanting him to pick a food that's of a reasonable price or she'd expect him to pay her back in return, if he were to get something expensive. She won't give anyone money at all if a person's a "nobody"

    I think she's just so insensitive sometimes that I have to remind her of it. But at the same time, she's a really nice and friendly girl, just when she's told something like an emotional problem, she responds really slow or doesn't know what to say for the most part to make that person feel happier.

    She didn't think either that the idea of bringing peace to the world is practical, and harmony itself. But she would always in return be compassionate to someone if someone was really nice to her. Overall, she's silly and can be playful but for the most part, she's always so serious and when she is, no one should joke around or she'd confront you with this.

    does any of that help?

  3. #583
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    ^ That helps a lot, thanks! Now I'm 95% sure she's ESTJ. I relate a lot to that. It's not that we mean to be cold or insensitive. In my case, anyway, if someone tells me that I was insensitive, I'll be unpleasantly surprised, and will apologize right away. "I didn't mean to sound like that..." I also relate to the thing about world peace, and how the idea isn't realistic.

    I also relate to what she said about the system sometimes being illogical. That's one stereotype about ESTJs - that we always side with "the man". I'm friends with an ENTP (who I can always trust to be straightforward and tell me the truth when I need to hear it ), and we were chatting once about alignment - you know, like in Dungeons and Dragons - and this subject came up. She said that her boyfriend, who is an INFJ, is much more status quo than I am! So there you go.

    ^^ I like ENTJs. I feel like we think along the same lines, kind of. Like we want the same things, in the end, but the way they approach it is less, for lack of a better term, boxed in. For example, both types are "natural leaders", but their type of leadership is the type that would involve, e.g, starting a club, whereas ESTJ leadership would involve becoming president of a pre-established club.

    I also think we make good partners in crime
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  4. #584
    Writing... Array Tamske's Avatar
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    Dear Consistent One,

    how do you cope when NPs around you jump from one peak interest to another and expect you to follow?

    I am so guilty of that one.

  5. #585
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    ^ Simple - I ask for clarification (e.g. "I'm confused... what do you mean??"), and then giggle at their stream of consciousness rambling once they explain it to me They usually laugh too, so it works.
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  6. #586
    Senior Member Array Max's Avatar
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    To EJCC (and/or any other fellow ESTJ who wishes to answer):

    Do you ever find yourself in a "panic mode" where you're more withdrawn from people and unlike your usual self?

    I ask this because I think that for a long time, I wanted to avoid my panic mode from coming on, and I thought it was mostly due to situations with other people, so I tended to avoid others and considered myself an introvert for many years. I remember several years ago when I took the test at school for the first time and scored as an ISTJ. I've always had issues with trusting others, which I've come to believe is more of a T thing than an I thing though. I really do enjoy the company of others and I find myself feeling better and energized around other people, which I think is the way I've always been, but just never really wanted to acknowledge it until recently.

  7. #587
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Max View Post
    To EJCC (and/or any other fellow ESTJ who wishes to answer):

    Do you ever find yourself in a "panic mode" where you're more withdrawn from people and unlike your usual self?

    I ask this because I think that for a long time, I wanted to avoid my panic mode from coming on, and I thought it was mostly due to situations with other people, so I tended to avoid others and considered myself an introvert for many years. I remember several years ago when I took the test at school for the first time and scored as an ISTJ. I've always had issues with trusting others, which I've come to believe is more of a T thing than an I thing though. I really do enjoy the company of others and I find myself feeling better and energized around other people, which I think is the way I've always been, but just never really wanted to acknowledge it until recently.
    I haven't really had this problem. In the times when I'm most socially withdrawn, it's not panic - it's insecurity, or anger, or self-pity. What were the sorts of situations that made you panic?
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  8. #588
    Senior Member Array Max's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    it's insecurity, or anger, or self-pity.
    I see. I think any of those words could actually replace "panic" wherever I used it.

    One specific situation where this happens is one that's recurring. My assigned roommate here at college is my best friend. My original hope was just that my roommate wouldn't suck, cause you know, it's often a problem where roommates don't get along with each other. But what happened was that he turned out to be so much more and so much greater than I expected him to be, and I just love him to death. Unfortunately, he does not feel the same way about me. He is a much more laid-back individual than I am, and he has a girlfriend and I don't, so that's a lot of extra time on my hands that I would like to be spending with him that he doesn't have. I get this irrational worry that he can't stand me and that he doesn't want to be with me. Though I know in my better times that it's not true, it's affected me to a pretty high level.

    This kind of goes back to what I said before about developing connections with people. Two of my other best friends found each other in a group that we were all in and they immediately discovered a strong connection to each other, and I find myself very jealous of that and I wish that I could have it with them and with my roommate.

    He's an ESTP, by the way.

  9. #589
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    ^ O...M...G. So THIS is what empathy feels like just kidding.

    But yeah, I was in pretty much that same situation a while ago, being single with a roommate with a boyfriend. It was really hard at first, though in my case it was mostly because I wished I had a boyfriend too, and not because I wanted to spend more time with my roommate. I started feeling inferior to her, and like... well, you know what I'm talking about. You had a similar example.

    ...It's like, you know, we have this hard exterior, and we want so badly to be tough, but sometimes these little insecure thoughts pop up, and when you can't shove them out of your mind, things get bad.

    It's so cool to talk about this with another ESTJ! Yay Max

    p.s. An attempt at reassurance: Just because he has a girlfriend, doesn't automatically mean that he doesn't hold you in the same high esteem that you hold him in.
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  10. #590
    Senior Member Array Max's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    ^ O...M...G. So THIS is what empathy feels like just kidding.
    It is!
    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    But yeah, I was in pretty much that same situation a while ago, being single with a roommate with a boyfriend. It was really hard at first, though in my case it was mostly because I wished I had a boyfriend too, and not because I wanted to spend more time with my roommate. I started feeling inferior to her, and like... well, you know what I'm talking about. You had a similar example.

    ...

    p.s. An attempt at reassurance: Just because he has a girlfriend, doesn't automatically mean that he doesn't hold you in the same high esteem that you hold him in.
    Another part of this whole situation that I had failed to mention before is that him and my two other best friends that I mentioned, they all got into this fraternity earlier this semester, and I did not get accepted in. They all had advantages over me because they're all from Florida and have had opportunities to visit the school beforehand and meet the guys in the fraternity and learn about what it was, whereas I didn't because I'm from far away, and I had many changes to adjust to and I was moving along a lot more slowly than they were. So that's another thing that takes away a lot of the time that I can spend with him and the other guys now.

    And also, one reason that I want to spend more time with him is because I'll find a girl that I like, but it's really impossible for me to make any progress with her by myself. I need help and I can't get it anymore because I don't have any friends by my side. So it does connect even more to your situation somewhat.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    ...It's like, you know, we have this hard exterior, and we want so badly to be tough, but sometimes these little insecure thoughts pop up, and when you can't shove them out of your mind, things get bad.
    Absolutely true. Part of it is that I strive to be perfect and that I want no less, but it's really hard to accept when I can't have the best.
    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    It's so cool to talk about this with another ESTJ! Yay Max
    Any time!

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