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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #571
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I love seeing other ESTJs here You bring up all this stuff that's TOTALLY TRUE that I completely overlook/forget about! Plus... I'm not alone anymore

    But on to my point: I especially agree with the last of your three points. But for me, it's almost as if, most of the time, I don't WANT to make those connections - erm, I mean, I do, but without the bad stuff, you know? Like, I chat with them, and they connect with me, and I do a little bit as well, but I'm hesitant to take that step into the next friendship level. My hypothesis is that it means opening up, and opening up means a vulnerable spot opening up in your emotional armor that someone might stab into. What do you think?
    Don't know if I have the right to comment as an ENFJ, but I think the one ESTJ friend I know, is very fragile if you get passed his armor.

    He's an arrogant one though, and he doesn't take direction easily...I accidentally pushed a little too hard one time on something he needed to get moving on (naturally, it involved the decent treatment of certain people within the community). I realize now, I must've broke something, because we've never been the same since as friends. He had a similar experience with another, much older ENFJ that used to mentor him. Dude is like porcelan: extremely hard, but breaks easily.

    I know this formula reverses over time with ESTJs, and I just wanna say, I love all you guys (I'm hardheaded in my own way, and y'all are awesome!). I don't think he'd ever give me the opportunity to apologize to him, but I am sorry about it (even if I was right ).
    Love is the point.

  2. #572
    Member 4375's Avatar
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    The things I don't like:
    1. In relationships I am too intense for most other personality types
    2. I have zero intuition in relationships
    3. I am bad at keeping close friendships. I focus so much on completeing tasks
    4. I wait for people to contact me and I don't contact them
    5. When people tease me or give me a hard time, I feel I have to explain why I do what I do even though they are just joking around with me. I can't fight the urge to justify sometimes and just laugh.
    I am male. Don't hold it against me.

  3. #573
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    Quote Originally Posted by BMEF View Post
    Hi! I have a few questions that I would like to ask..

    Q1. How would you feel if you receive a thank-you letter from a younger person (or someone that has less authority than you)?

    Q2. How would you feel and how would you react if someone told you that you are the role-model of their life?

    Q3. How would you feel if someone offered you some help? For example, your friends asks you if he or she can help you set up the dining table or wash the dishes?

    Q4. When you give people advice, how would you like them to respond? Would you want them to look at you straight through your eyes and silently nod their head? Would you like them to say something back to you?

    Q5. How would you feel if someone makes you feel like "you're the boss, you're the one that is in charge, you're the expert/professional"?

    Thank you in advanced!
    A1. It wouldn't bother me at all. I love appreciation from anyone.

    A2. I would be flattered and say thank-you.

    A3. Offering help would be accepted. I never ask for help.

    A4. I would like it to be a interactive conversation.

    A5. That really depends on what it is. If I know what I am doing I like it. If I haven't got a clue I hate it. I am always open to input from others. I earn respect and don't demand it.


    Your welcome.
    I am male. Don't hold it against me.

  4. #574
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    First... I TOTALLY agree about the justification thing!! I used to do that a lot, when I was a kid, but it annoyed my INTP dad to such an extent that I don't anymore.

    Quote Originally Posted by BMEF View Post
    Hi! I have a few questions that I would like to ask..

    Q1. How would you feel if you receive a thank-you letter from a younger person (or someone that has less authority than you)?
    I'd feel great! I love thank-you letters, regardless of who sends them.

    Q2. How would you feel and how would you react if someone told you that you are the role-model of their life?
    Feeling: Shock, warm fuzzies.
    Reaction: "Wow, thank you!" appearing surprised, though not as surprised as how I actually feel. And then probably following up with something self-deprecating.

    Q3. How would you feel if someone offered you some help? For example, your friends asks you if he or she can help you set up the dining table or wash the dishes?
    I'd be totally fine with it.

    Q4. When you give people advice, how would you like them to respond? Would you want them to look at you straight through your eyes and silently nod their head? Would you like them to say something back to you?
    Saying something back would probably be good, or at least acknowledging that they heard you.

    Q5. How would you feel if someone makes you feel like "you're the boss, you're the one that is in charge, you're the expert/professional"?
    If I want to be in charge, then that's great, and absolutely what I'd like. Otherwise, it might be weird.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #575
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I don't WANT to make those connections - erm, I mean, I do, but without the bad stuff, you know? Like, I chat with them, and they connect with me, and I do a little bit as well, but I'm hesitant to take that step into the next friendship level. My hypothesis is that it means opening up, and opening up means a vulnerable spot opening up in your emotional armor that someone might stab into. What do you think?
    I've got the same problem!
    I can make a lot of aquaintances, but I'm very bad at making real friends. Toughest hurdle: I have to remember all those uninteresting details personal, meaningful things like their name, their face, how many children they have, what they do as work etc etc.
    My husband told me about a similar problem too. People tend to see him as reliable and no-nonsense and he wants to hold up that image. Only when he's truly at ease, he's happy he doesn't have to be "perfect".

    Maybe it's a general thing... with different difficulties along the path from aquaintance to friend.

  6. #576
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    An answer to questions not yet asked:

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...tml#post930360
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  7. #577
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I discovered an excellent socionics ESTJ description. The best I think I've ever read. It doesn't make you look like the bad guys at all.

    LSE - WSWiki
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  8. #578
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    could someone tell me if this girl's an ESTJ? this girl that I know, she's not very emotionally in tune or can express herself properly, well at least not emotionally. She also doesn't know how to respond to someone usually if theyre upset, not unless theyre a close friend. She'd occasionally bottle herself up emotionally if she's stressed, and if she's pushed in any way, she'd explode. She's not very social but she'd get recharged whenever she'd go out for hours. I asked her if she preferred compassion and harmony over rationality and logic, her answer was, she valued both. But she seems to mix the idea of being compassionate and at the same time, being rational and logical. She's also aggressive in general.

    She always thinks she's right, and when people's opinions are different from her, she tries to convince them to change.

    She's a "matter of fact" kind of person. She likes to go with the facts anytime over anything. She's very practical.

    Is she an ESTJ?

    she bugs me at times though when I ask her for an emotional advice, all she'd say is,

    "stop being so sensitive. You'll get through this, this happens to everyone."

    She's also very bossy.

    She thinks i'm being sensitive all the time. I'm an INFP btw.

  9. #579
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Hello ESTJ friends! There is a thread on Sensate leadership over in the NF section. If any of you are willing and inclined, I would dearly like to hear your input. It is about what would make you most receptive to an idea pitched by an NF. Your responses would be most valued!

  10. #580
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ontop View Post
    could someone tell me if this girl's an ESTJ? this girl that I know, she's not very emotionally in tune or can express herself properly, well at least not emotionally. She also doesn't know how to respond to someone usually if theyre upset, not unless theyre a close friend. She'd occasionally bottle herself up emotionally if she's stressed, and if she's pushed in any way, she'd explode. She's not very social but she'd get recharged whenever she'd go out for hours. I asked her if she preferred compassion and harmony over rationality and logic, her answer was, she valued both. But she seems to mix the idea of being compassionate and at the same time, being rational and logical. She's also aggressive in general.

    She always thinks she's right, and when people's opinions are different from her, she tries to convince them to change.

    She's a "matter of fact" kind of person. She likes to go with the facts anytime over anything. She's very practical.

    Is she an ESTJ?

    she bugs me at times though when I ask her for an emotional advice, all she'd say is,

    "stop being so sensitive. You'll get through this, this happens to everyone."

    She's also very bossy.

    She thinks i'm being sensitive all the time. I'm an INFP btw.
    I dunno if she's an ESTJ. She's ExTx, without a doubt, but besides that... she could be an ENTx, still, possibly (some of that sounded ENTJ). But yeah, I'd say I'm 75% sure she's ESTJ.

    Do you have any other helpful details? e.g. is she an inside-the-box thinker? Does she tend to take things literally?

    Thoughts, anybody?
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

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