+1We're all hypocrites sometimes, and one's type doesn't change that.
Oh, I see. Yeah, I can do that sometimes; I'll come across as being snippy, without meaning to. I wonder, though, how much of what you're observing is observable to the average person (after all, you know how NFs are...). But the "restrained irritation" thing... he's probably an ISTJ. When I'm irritated, it just comes out, and there's not much I can do about it. I can't instinctively bottle up rage like that. Sadness? Stress? Sure. But anger? No way.Sorry I was unclear. I meant to say that at times he would be visibly stiff, tense and irritated, but would have no idea that he was. The denotations of what he said would not be angry, nor would he be verbally lashing out, but it was still clear there was restrained anger and irritation there. It was also clear that emotion still tilted his reasoning a bit.
Jeez! I can see how it would be. Poor guy... and poor you!When I was younger I found his mixed messages very confusing, because I knew he was angry but he was saying that he was not. My intuition and feeling were telling me that both things were true (both the he was angry, and that he thought he was telling the truth). It was very confusing at the time.
Nah, I understand. You articulated it fine. However, it doesn't quite work that way for me. Because I bottle stuff up very quickly after it occurs (apparently - I assume this based on personal evidence, though I don't know for sure), it all builds up, so when I finally snap (i.e. getting disproportionally angry, wanting to cry about something (I hardly ever cry unless there's an unusual circumstance)), it could be anything, and since all had a hand in it, nothing really resonates. And even when it does, there's never a "splash" for me; I rationalize it, e.g. "Okay, it must be this, because it's the only thing that makes sense."I think even those of us heavy on the Fi sometimes have to go through that process. It's always possible to have a hard time attributing emotions to the correct cause. When I'm really puzzled by my emotional reaction to something, i still, every now and ago, have to go through a process where I make different suggestions internally about what the cause might be and wait until one resonates emotionally and intensifies the emotion. It's a little like dropping stones down a well and waiting until one makes a splash. It's a very internal process, so feels a little odd to try to verbalize it.
So, did it help at all? I'm curiousAnyway, thanks one again for the dialog; it's been very helpful. I'm off to take a look at that "Breaking Rules" thread.
p.s. Any other questions?