What is your opinion regarding male ISTJ's? Are you generally attracted to them? If so, why? If not, why not?
I... don't really know any. But if they're like the female ESTJ that I know, and if they're like the people I've typed as ISTJ on TV and in movies and such, yeah, I like them. I'm not sure how well I'd mesh with them romantically, if that's what you were thinking (it's almost like looking at myself when I look at them, and that's not really a good sign...), but as friends, yeah, they're awesome.
Originally Posted by Keps Mnemnosyne
What is your opinion regarding male INFJs? Are you generally attracted to them? If so, why? If not, what's wrong with you? How's that for pride in being an INFJ?
LOL. Yes, I like them. I like them as friends... but I find that (in the case of heterosexual INFJ men, anyway), that they aren't quite as... open?... as INFJ women are, even when you're very close friends with them. Which means that, since I'm not that great at reading people, I have a hard time understanding INFJ men. But I only know one male INFJ irl, so... I dunno.
How much control should a healthy ESTJ want?
Wow, what a subjective question. What sort of situation are you thinking of? Work? Home?
Everything and anything. I know it was subjective. I guess it would be best to use EnFpFer situation, if she didn't mind, as it might be helpful to know what a healthy ESTJ would be like in a similar situation. Maybe not specific enough, my personal question would be if I had you as a boss what should I expect?
Yeah, you were right about INFJ men not being open, at least in my case.
Love wouldn't exist without loneliness to inspire it.
Peach yogurt is made of love. And gnome kidneys. - Domino
I can cope and will cope without polluting my lungs. - Saslou
Everything and anything. I know it was subjective. I guess it would be best to use EnFpFer situation, if she didn't mind, as it might be helpful to know what a healthy ESTJ would be like in a similar situation.
I think that in a similar situation, an ESTJ mom might say "Here's the thing - this particular thing happened with the dog a while ago, and now I don't trust you with dogs, so I'd really prefer it if you keep the dog somewhere outside of my house." In other words, a healthy ESTJ would be blunt about why they were feeling that particular way. Weird, passive-aggressive behavior doesn't come naturally to us, I don't think.
Honestly, though, if that ESTJ were healthy, the situation wouldn't even exist. Most ESTJs are more trusting than that, and most don't keep outdated feelings about people for so long, as she did.
Maybe not specific enough, my personal question would be if I had you as a boss what should I expect?
If I were your boss, you should expect me to be a traditionalist and a skeptic. Any control freakery from ESTJs in the workplace, in my opinion, comes from those two things - since we have very strong, specific beliefs in what the "right" and "wrong" ways to do things are, and since we're skeptical of unusual/unknown people/things/policies until we see definitive proof that they work/are trustworthy, we appear to have an innate need for control. In my case, I absolutely do NOT have a need for control... but I DO have a need for things to be done CORRECTLY
It depends. I think usually, there'll be a period where we'll want to put off the decision, and sort of worry about it, but then there's always (for me) a time where we go "Okay, this has gone far enough. I NEED TO MAKE THIS DECISION RIGHT NOW" and then we make the decision. (Not in a rush, mind you, but even if we're hesitant, we force ourselves to make the choice and not look back.)
I just wanted to say to EnFpFer that your mom sounds abusive. I have done a TON of research on abuse lately because of some issues people I know and love are having and the way you describe her behavior sounds like an abuser. With them, trying to be nice and adjust to what they want will not get them to behave rationally and politely. Neither will hitting them over the head, unfortunately, though it sure is tempting! Just wanted to put that out there.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~Plato
"How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect." ~ Oscar Wilde - The picture of Dorian Gray
^^ Thanks for the input, Amira! Haven't seen you round these parts in a while.
^ ...what do you mean, "textbook case"? Do you mean, like, a textbook example of an ESTJ? 'Cause if that's what you mean, I don't get tired of it, because I'm not a textbook example. I'm a girl, I'm pretty liberal and open-minded, and I'm NOT in business or the military.
But if you meant, like, sort of a case study, i.e. on this thread, the answer is no. I enjoy this. I like being asked questions that I can answer authoritatively.
Would you say it's a matter of "health" as to whether you guys listen to other people's opinions and other people's sides of things? This sort of thing has really frustrated me with my step mom (ESTJ) over the years... I'm aware that you guys think you're correct in your judgment and employ that until proven wrong, but for some of you guys nothing can prove you wrong and you are the center of the world. I suppose it is a matter of health eh?