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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #421
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Interesting question. I'd never really thought about this. I guess true sympathy is hardly ever involved, with me. Usually, when I look back on something inconsiderate that I've said, my reactions have been
    1. Embarrassment, and
    2. Self loathing.
    e.g. "How could I have been such an idiot??? Now that person hates me, and I don't know what to do. Stupid stupid stupid!"
    But I don't really empathize with the person. I guess I should, but I don't. I'm not that good with empathy...
    Very interesting. This sort of leads me to another question: how do you handle people's strong feelings? For a more complex specific example: How would you react if somebody wronged you, making you angry, then you realized the person that wronged you was much more angry/disappointed/frustrated with themselves than you could have ever been at them? I had a bit of a mental breakdown yesterday. Not sure how she perceived it...
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

  2. #422

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    Quote Originally Posted by enfp1091 View Post
    Like if everything that you see it's not real. That it might be and illusion or something? It's weird.
    Life is a dream. The map is not the territory. It's possible to alter the maps of people by doing remarkable things. It's amazing how easily people can forget and move on. On the other hand, somethings are deeply embedded in peoples psyche. WWII, pearl harbor, 911, Ancient Rome.

    How significant is this thing you worry about in the grand scheme of things? If it's of little significance, forget about it and move on. If you drag it along like unwanted baggage it could drag you under.

    I personally forgive and forget very easily. Continuing as if nothing happened comes naturally.

    If I were on the receiving end and knew whatever it is would not affect me going forward I have no reason to worry about or dwell on it.

  3. #423
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    Quote Originally Posted by Max View Post
    It seems that to a lot of people, ESTJs are asses themselves. Since they come in all types and shapes and sizes, I couldn't judge them as a whole. Maybe a more specific description of what you're talking about could help.
    It's not really being an ass as much as using Fe to express Ti, which is like exposing somebody's inconsistent logic in a lighthearted way. For example, the ESTJ I know was saying/sort of complaining how a bunch of her friends including me don't have lunch together when we all eat at the same time. I said, "Well, next time you should... Oh, what's that thing people do when they want to get together- Call me!" Actually, she said that was quite cute, and she really appreciated it.

    I just answered my own question. Again. Oh, the wonderful life of a dominant Ni...
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

  4. #424
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    Question about the ESTJ shadow:

    When you make an ESTJ angry (by effectively rendering her belief as invalid), why does she feel the need to ignore me? Is this the INFP shadow coming out?

    Another question: Do you think the ESTJ+ENTP combination is good? Why or why not?
    Thank you.

  5. #425
    Senior Member Max's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    When you make an ESTJ angry (by effectively rendering her belief as invalid), why does she feel the need to ignore me? Is this the INFP shadow coming out?
    My beliefs and morals don't change easily. If you're arrogant about what you believe, keep in mind that we're the same way about what we believe, but we're less open to another possibility.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    Another question: Do you think the ESTJ+ENTP combination is good? Why or why not?
    Thank you.
    I'm gonna go with no on this one. Of course, as always, it varies upon the individual, but for my case and most other ESTJs, I don't see this working. From what I understand, the ENTP uses their thinking a lot differently than we do. The closed-mindedness of SJ doesn't seem like a great match with the open-mindedness of NP. Like I said in the answer to the other question, we have our strong beliefs, and we don't really care to change them.

  6. #426

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    Quote Originally Posted by Max View Post
    My beliefs and morals don't change easily. If you're arrogant about what you believe, keep in mind that we're the same way about what we believe, but we're less open to another possibility.
    Beliefs and morals? Sounds mighty F to me.
    Think.

  7. #427
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Beliefs and morals? Sounds mighty F to me.
    The poster who asked the question used the word belief, so that's what I used in my answer. By morals, I mean the ways I've chosen to live my life and how I prioritize certain things and why I do and don't do certain things. For example, I've made the decision to not procreate, so I make sure that everything I do fulfills that moral. Maybe I didn't chose the right word, but if it's my own type that you're questioning, I am definitely T.

  8. #428
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    Quote Originally Posted by Max View Post
    The poster who asked the question used the word belief, so that's what I used in my answer. By morals, I mean the ways I've chosen to live my life and how I prioritize certain things and why I do and don't do certain things. For example, I've made the decision to not procreate, so I make sure that everything I do fulfills that moral. Maybe I didn't chose the right word, but if it's my own type that you're questioning, I am definitely T.
    When I said "belief", I meant either a factual or moral basis. So thank you for answering in accordance.

    I have an ESTJ friend who has been in a relationship with an ENTP for over a year now. In fact, they're going to separate colleges, which puts a strain on their relationship. However, they still manage to keep it together.

    She used to complain to me that her ENTP boyfriend loved to argue. I suppose that's why she talked to me, because I'm almost always agreeable. She also hated how he was so messy!

    Seeing the dynamics of a conformist ESTJ with a rebellious ENTP is rather amusing, to be honest. I hope they don't break up.

  9. #429
    Senior Member Gewitter27's Avatar
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    How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The reason why I didn't ask how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood is because that is irrelevant: No matter how much wood the woodchuck could chuck, it will only chuck as much as it would.
    I 96% N 93% T 75% P 63% 5w4 sp/sx/so ILI
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    I'm interested in what you percieve me to be. Johari/Nohari

  10. #430
    Senior Member Max's Avatar
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    Like I said, it varies upon the individual. I seriously doubt that a relationship between me and an ENTP or INTP or another similar type would happen, but if it's working fine for them, then that's great.

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