Do you frequently burst out yelling and/or screaming? either seriously or humorously? and either publicly or privately?
I don't like actually YELLING. But when trying to be funny (telling a story or something), or when frustrated, you'll hear a lot of "RRRGH!" and/or "GAH!" and/or "WHY??" (w/a raised voice, but not full-on yelling).
Edit: Privately, when really upset, I scream into a pillow. Also, I feel like gender differences may be involved here in some way...
Sorry EJCC...but my ESTJ never answered the question of whether "he had feelings for me other than friendship" in my emails. I sent two. He has since texted me like nothing happened and we are back to the same easy going friendship we had before. He'll always have a special place in my heart and he'll always be a true friend but I'm giving up on him romantically. I just have to move on...and I'm now doing that with an ESTP......
I read the first ten or so pages of this topic, and I'm completely convinced the girl I'm interested in is ESTJ. By far- especially after the first question asked about journalism (she's a journalism major!). Also, the topic about accepting help is spot on as she'll grab a select amount of friends (including me) to help her with work.
A few questions:
Are you frugal? Like, to a point of no return?
Is family a big part of your life?
Do you ever embarrass yourself or get other people angry at you from an honest mistake and feel awful afterwords? I find it interesting that the same functions that get ESTJs into bad situations are the same ones that make ENFP's lives so insane.
If you know someone (me) has "feelings," are you conscious of hurting them, but not in a sympathetic way? For example, if you think of something you said to someone, would you say to yourself, "I feel bad for saying that," or, "I don't want to hurt their feelings"?
"Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
enneagram - 7/5/3
EJCC - I just noticed now that you did answer my queries. Thank you so much. I think that guilt=avoidance thing makes several things from his past make sense. I kind of attributed the emails to loneliness in a new place. I'm guessing that means that as soon as things are better established for him, that will be the end of it. This is what frustrates me about the whole thing. No one likes to feel that they are just there for someone else's convenience.
Do you think that ESTJs generally ever get to the point where they can be honest about their feelings to the people close to them? Especially about things they wish they had done differently or are embarrassed about etc. I think that it would not only make those close to them see them as a lot more human, but it would also be a relief of sorts to them. Is there anyone you could or would be completely honest with?
One of the things that I discovered too was that my ESTJ actually cared incredibly deeply, but often did not express it verbally (or even on his face) and I never realized how much I mattered to him except through chance comments from other people or the odd time when I realized I had hurt him unintentionally and he reacted angrily. In some ways I think he felt things more deeply than I did, but I never realized that for a very long time. What keeps you from saying that to someone? Is it that it gives them the power to hurt you? Do you just assume that they know already?