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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #341
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I suppose it's possible. However, being an ESTJ with an INTP dad and an INFJ mom, I certainly wasn't raised in as structured an environment as some. I think I created the structure for myself. (For example, when I was a little kid, if I did something bad, my parents hardly had to discipline me at all (except to say "I'm disappointed in you") before I would feel terrible and apologize and not do it again.) But, of course, everything changes when you grow up in an effed-up household with an abusive parent.

    I will say, though, based on what little I know about ESTPs, that I relate to what they do a WHOLE lot. If I didn't put so much emphasis on authority, and if I had the guts to stick it to the man whenever I felt so inclined, I might act like an ESTP. So, I suppose, hypothetically, if I were raised in an environment where everyone questioned authority, I would disrespect it too (and, in so doing, follow authority by questioning a different authority, if you understand what I mean), and if my peers/family weren't organized, I wouldn't be organized either. The behaviors of ESTJs are REALLY shaped by the people around them,* and that can't be emphasized enough.
    That was a very interesting profile/question! Thank you for asking. I think that was the first question I've had from an ESTP.


    *which is why, in my opinion, ESTJs are such an incredibly diverse group of people, compared with other types.
    Why is this so? I know it is completely stereotypical of the supposed type differences to not get this but I am curious as to the motivation behind the bolded portion. Other than that I like the style. WTF is it with you guys and authority?

  2. #342
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by T-Guy View Post
    Thanks for the welcome, and no unfortunately I am not British. I'm from one of Britain's child countries though.
    Well, I won't pry. I just noticed the "behaviour" with a "u"....
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  3. #343
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    Oh of course...Americans don't spell "behaviour" with a "u". Good observation MD.

    And yes, I too want to know what you mean by "The behaviors of ESTJs are REALLY shaped by the people around them,* and that can't be emphasized enough."

  4. #344
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I don't think I know any ESTJs irl. I wish I knew some. They seem like a really interesting type.

    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    By the way, I've heard that the behavior of all Guardian types (SJs) are shaped by the people around them. That makes even more sense to me in regards to SFJs, actually, but I guess as a group that's true. That's from the mouth of Keirsey's son himself, btw.
    I think this is true for the most part. I'm ISFj (baby j) and most of the people I know irl are SJs and SPs.

  5. #345
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frank View Post
    Why is this so? I know it is completely stereotypical of the supposed type differences to not get this but I am curious as to the motivation behind the bolded portion. Other than that I like the style. WTF is it with you guys and authority?
    Quote Originally Posted by T-Guy View Post
    And yes, I too want to know what you mean by "The behaviors of ESTJs are REALLY shaped by the people around them,* and that can't be emphasized enough."
    I meant that in the scheme of things, for ESTJs (and other SJ types, as stellar renegade mentioned so astutely), the influence/rules of peers and family matters much more than the influence/rules of society overall. I know an ISFJ who has been SO influenced by her mind-bogglingly ESFP group of friends that you could never tell she was SJ on first glance - she doesn't give a $h1t about traditional authority, but she is loyal to her friends to a fault, and would do anything to fit in with them. (I knew an ESTJ in high school that was very similar in HIS group of friends, who were all SP and NF drama geeks.) By saying what I said, I was trying to dispel any preconceived notions about ESTJs - especially those of ESTJs always being status quo and pro-military and everything. Not that I was very clear... sorry about that.
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
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  6. #346
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Yeah, I strongly suspect one of my new friends is an ESFJ, but she definitely seems like an SP at first few glances. She's very silly and sarcastic, does all kinds of risky things with the others and loves to make music and write weird stories. Very free as the wind. She didn't have a very good family life growing up, so I guess her friends more or less became her family.

    But at the same time she seems to really care for them, watch out for them, etc, is conservative in many aspects and has that Guardian gloomy and cautious viewpoint on life.
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  7. #347

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    Would you say that ESTJs get jaded often? Friends-wise, environment-wise.

    Or is this more of an ESTP trait (Extroversion or Perception)?

  8. #348
    Junior Member refinnej30's Avatar
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    I am married to and ESTJ male. Are they all worker bees? He will spend 6 hours cleaning the kitchen floor, but he frequently has an excuse why he can't go out with us to a movie or just out. He is a major homebody. He makes up his mind and is inflexible. He will work until he finishes something to perfection and they he watches tv. He is in the military (engineering), worked in drug interdiction and in a prison. He says Steak, Beer and sex make him tick. He's a really great guy, but like I said very inflexible and I am getting to old to tie into knots. As an INFJ I am trying to understand him more and not getting my feathers ruffled so easy. Any insights?

  9. #349
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    Quote Originally Posted by matilda View Post
    Would you say that ESTJs get jaded often? Friends-wise, environment-wise.

    Or is this more of an ESTP trait (Extroversion or Perception)?
    I don't know enough ESTJs to say for certain, but I know from my experience being an ESTJ that I have quite a combination of jadedness and naivete. On the one hand, there's the part of me that's like "That'll never happen. I've never seen it happen, I don't know how it could happen, and therefore there's no hope for it to happen." And then there's the side of me that has these idyllic values - you know, freedom, justice, truth, karma - that don't always exist in the world. But to answer your question fully, if all ESTJs are like me, then yes, they have the potential to be very jaded, in some regards.

    Quote Originally Posted by refinnej30 View Post
    I am married to and ESTJ male. Are they all worker bees? He will spend 6 hours cleaning the kitchen floor, but he frequently has an excuse why he can't go out with us to a movie or just out. He is a major homebody. He makes up his mind and is inflexible. He will work until he finishes something to perfection and they he watches tv. He is in the military (engineering), worked in drug interdiction and in a prison. He says Steak, Beer and sex make him tick. He's a really great guy, but like I said very inflexible and I am getting to old to tie into knots. As an INFJ I am trying to understand him more and not getting my feathers ruffled so easy. Any insights?
    I relate to him a lot. I do the same thing - working for hours and then sitting at the TV to relax. I think part of the issue, with regard to him not wanting to go out, is that he wasn't warned in advance. Since he's so into his routine of staying at home all the time, going out seems like an event, and he needs a little time to mentally prepare for it. Try scheduling an evening out (a day, or a few days) in advance. "Wanna go to a movie tomorrow?" He should respond well to that. With regard to the sex, beer and steak thing... well, that's just proof of what I said about ESTJs being a diverse bunch. I don't relate to that at all, but then again, I'm not from a sex-beer-steak culture... and I'm not a guy. But I digress. Yeah, I think talking to him about the possibility of, in the future, making time to go out, might lead to a better response from him... that is, unless you've tried that already.
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  10. #350
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    Quote Originally Posted by refinnej30 View Post
    I am married to and ESTJ male. Are they all worker bees? He will spend 6 hours cleaning the kitchen floor, but he frequently has an excuse why he can't go out with us to a movie or just out. He is a major homebody. He makes up his mind and is inflexible. He will work until he finishes something to perfection and they he watches tv. He is in the military (engineering), worked in drug interdiction and in a prison. He says Steak, Beer and sex make him tick. He's a really great guy, but like I said very inflexible and I am getting to old to tie into knots. As an INFJ I am trying to understand him more and not getting my feathers ruffled so easy. Any insights?
    You know why that is? because personally, I like to finish whatever I'm doing. If I'm cleaning the kitchen, I will clean it before I rest and take a break. I work hard and I play hard. I can only break when I finish my job. That's how it is for an ESTJ.

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