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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #251
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    My ESTJ really liked anything practical. Even when he had the money for something, he wanted to be really sure that he needed it before he'd get it for himself. He also tended to buy practical gifts, but they were always the kind of thing that were amazing to get. For example a set of 4 star Henkel's knives because he knew that cooking would be so much more enjoyable and I just didn't know the greatness of having knives like that! Most people thought it was an odd first Christmas together present, but I was thrilled. I think for ESTJ presents quality is important in addition to functionality. It would be better to be something small, but useful and nice than something big, but unpractical or that wouldn't last. Also anything that makes a living area nicer, like a picture that means something etc. Let's see - things like a nice sleeping bag for camping, getting something that he's wanted but seems to frivolous for him to buy for himself (eg that pair of boots he's been wishing for even though the ones he has still work fine), kitchen stuff, a good book...

  2. #252
    [bento boxed] EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strawberrylover View Post
    She pretty much ignores me in social situations, barely says hello and once we were at the beach together for a whole day with some other people and she barely talked to me THE WHOLE DAY. I would try to start conversations and she replies with one word or one sentence and then... no follow up. She had her closest two friends with her at the beach who she'd talk to and then just basically ignored me and one other person the rest of the time. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?
    Wow. That's really inconsiderate. But it makes sense, if she really doesn't like you. We CAN hold a grudge...

    I still can't really take her loudmouthing sometimes or her judgmental attitude toward people, although she's been toning it down recently for whatever reason and I've grown to understand and like her more. Point being, she seems like a good person and I can foresee a better friendship between us in the future.

    My question to you is, how do I help get it to that point? Thank ya!!
    Interesting how well this question relates to LotsofHeart's anecdote about unresponsive ESTJs. My answer to that was: bring up something that they're passionate about, and show interest in it. ESTJs open up right away when something gets brought out that they feel strongly about. Do you know her well enough to try something like that? If not, I'd just try proving her bad impression of you incorrect. You seem to know what she didn't like about you before. If you interact with her in a way that proves the opposite...
    but I dunno if that's applicable.

    Quote Originally Posted by StephMC939 View Post
    What should I get the ESTJ I'm seeing for his birthday? I'm broke, and he's not... and he seems to have everything he needs. Helpppp!
    I agree that you'd be better off getting something practical. Just like what MDP2525 said, try to remember if there was any small thing that he's complained about, and get him something that would deal with that small thing. If not, try getting him a food item that he really likes. We love food
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  3. #253
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    So... what about a nice, fragrant bonsai tree? ... I only say that because he has a lot of plants and is always watering them. And a bonsai tree would be nicer looking than at least a few of them. He really likes his apartment looking nice. :rolli:

  4. #254
    Senior Member Clonester's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephMC939 View Post
    So... what about a nice, fragrant bonsai tree? ... I only say that because he has a lot of plants and is always watering them. And a bonsai tree would be nicer looking than at least a few of them. He really likes his apartment looking nice. :rolli:
    Since he likes plants and takes care of them that sounds like a really good idea. Of course, then he'll always think of you when he waters it, lol.
    ENFP Male: E-74% N-95% F-58% P-84% 3w2
    "I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely." -Kim Basinger

  5. #255
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Ok, I'm asking an ESTJ.

    Where do babies really come from?
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  6. #256
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Wow. That's really inconsiderate. But it makes sense, if she really doesn't like you. We CAN hold a grudge...
    Ooooh boy. I think I know what she was mad about. It's been like two months since the beach trip tho. Man, you guys CAN hold a grudge.

    Interesting how well this question relates to LotsofHeart's anecdote about unresponsive ESTJs. My answer to that was: bring up something that they're passionate about, and show interest in it. ESTJs open up right away when something gets brought out that they feel strongly about. Do you know her well enough to try something like that? If not, I'd just try proving her bad impression of you incorrect. You seem to know what she didn't like about you before. If you interact with her in a way that proves the opposite...
    but I dunno if that's applicable.
    This kinda helps. Thanks.

  7. #257
    [bento boxed] EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephMC939 View Post
    So... what about a nice, fragrant bonsai tree? ... I only say that because he has a lot of plants and is always watering them. And a bonsai tree would be nicer looking than at least a few of them. He really likes his apartment looking nice. :rolli:
    That sounds awesome! If I were him, I would love it. (Actually, I would love it anyways - so pretty )

    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Ok, I'm asking an ESTJ.

    Where do babies really come from?
    They come from wherever I say they come from!
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  8. #258
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    When a ESTJ takes a look at INTJ what do they see ?
    To be more specific, which are the differences they see between these two types ?

  9. #259
    [bento boxed] EJCC's Avatar
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    ^^
    Well, there's the obvious I vs. E difference. There's the fact that INTJs are sillier around people they know and are more comfortable with, while ESTJs are sillier around people they don't know, in an effort to impress them. (Makes for a lot of head-shaking by the ESTJ once they get to be friends.) When I see an INTJ, though, I mostly see the similarities, both good (e.g. mutual bluntness/honesty), and oddly enough, the similarities are often what bug me most (e.g. the tendency to ignore facts that don't mesh well with our beliefs). One big difference that I've noticed with the INTJs that I know is that they can read people so well - almost at an INFJ level, sometimes - whereas ESTJs are often completely oblivious to other people's personal needs.

    Not that your average ESTJ will see all this nuance in an INTJ right away. We'll probably think something along these lines: "Quiet, honest, intelligent, bold, blunt. An interesting person. A little bit intimidating. Hm." But then again, in my experience, when you first encounter an INTJ, you aren't seeing all of them. They have more depth than what's on the surface. (It's the same with ESTJs, really.)

    I think ESTJs and INTJs are very compatible in friendships. It's like an ESTJ-INFJ pairing, only without the traditional problems.
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  10. #260
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Excellent description! I liked what you said about the silliness thing. I never thought about it in that light, but that's exactly true.

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