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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #2511
    Senior Member Ursa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CognitiveLiberty View Post
    To all ESTJs: Do you consider yourself to be judgmental, and if so, do you sometimes feel guilty about looking down on others?
    I do consider myself to be judgemental. Most of my impatience with others stems from issues of competence and character. I don't have any qualms about calling someone out who is consistently late to meetings or who skips out on their duties, for example. Another example is a mean-spirit. I do not like that in others, and I have no problem with telling a bully to back off.

    I also like to argue from a place of "judgement." I'll take a conclusion and argue it with someone as a means of reaching understanding about something. I think this can come off as judgemental and close-minded to Perceivers. But my Ne is open to changing my mind after a heated debate. I just don't frame the debate in terms of "what if" and "maybe" as much as a lot of Perceivers I know, and I don't like ending on an uncertain note. As a Judging type, I drive for closure - it's hard to get anything practical done when there is no decisiveness.

    I rarely find myself judging people and things outside competence and character, though. I don't look at a Trekkie and think, "What a loser." It's their personal business and it doesn't hurt others, so I don't care. More power to them in fact. They could be a nice person anyways with a lot to bring to the table.

    I do sometimes feel guilty. I was really hard on someone the other day who was saying rude things to others and being lazy. I later learned that she suffered from major depression. It put her behavior in context and made me wish I had framed my objections towards her behavior in a more compassionate way. I also sometimes object to something that, as it turns out, is a non-issue and I simply misunderstood. I wouldn't quite label that as guilt, though. I just choose to learn from my mistake and move on.

    Inferior Fi also equals guilt when I'm in the grip. I'll think of something blunt I said to someone like seven years ago and be angry with myself for being insensitive.
    Likes EJCC, CognitiveLiberty liked this post

  2. #2512
    inside the lines EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CognitiveLiberty View Post
    To all ESTJs: Do you consider yourself to be judgmental, and if so, do you sometimes feel guilty about looking down on others?
    I'm definitely judgmental, but I attribute that much more to Enneagram than I do to MBTI. I don't feel guilty about it unless it leads to me doing something wrong, or hurting someone's feelings. Otherwise I don't have any strong feelings about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!
    Likes SD45T-2, CognitiveLiberty, Ursa liked this post

  3. #2513
    You are what you love themightyfetus's Avatar
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    How do you deal with people who are very sensitive, or who have very strong feelings?
    Do what your younger self never thought she could do.
    Be who she always dreamed of being.
    Darling, make that little girl proud
    .

    2w3 // 6w7 // 9w1

  4. #2514
    inside the lines EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by themightyfetus View Post
    How do you deal with people who are very sensitive, or who have very strong feelings?
    I'm bad at walking on eggshells, so the only way I can have any sort of relationship with very sensitive people is by knowing exactly where their buttons are. If they don't tell me what they are, then I'll ask mutual friends for advice. Otherwise I'll have to learn either by pushing their buttons, or observing people pushing their buttons. (Not pushing them intentionally, to clarify. But just doing what I always do and waiting for the inevitable moment where my modus operandi causes offense.) Which isn't fun, but is better than having to second-guess everything I say.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!
    Likes themightyfetus, Ursa liked this post

  5. #2515
    across the universe Olm the Water King's Avatar
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    How do you even?

  6. #2516
    inside the lines EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Olm the Water King View Post
    How do you even?
    I can't.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  7. #2517
    across the universe Olm the Water King's Avatar
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    Are you the most awesome ESTJ of them all?

  8. #2518
    inside the lines EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Olm the Water King View Post
    Are you the most awesome ESTJ of them all?
    Yes. I am the non-@highlander highlander.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!
    Likes Olm the Water King liked this post

  9. #2519
    Yamete-kun Lloyd's Avatar
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    Are ESTJ's Tsundere ? It can be you or some ESTJ. Well here is the definition just in case you don't know what it means.
    Tsundere is a Japanese term for a character development process that describes a person who is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually showing their warm side over time.

  10. #2520
    inside the lines EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lloyd View Post
    Are ESTJ's Tsundere ? It can be you or some ESTJ. Well here is the definition just in case you don't know what it means.
    Hah, that was the exact path to my first relationship. Hostility included. <3

    Re: platonic relationships, it depends on whether I'm being pursued or whether I'm doing the pursuing. Usually I'm the one doing the pursuing. But your tsundere description fits if I'm being pursued and I'm not sure how I feel about the person pursuing me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!
    Likes Lloyd liked this post

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