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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #2341
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beshr Al Bakri View Post
    How do you really perceive IJs? Especially the feeler ones?
    I get along with them. The Fe users are a little more difficult, but we manage all right. It's only when it comes down to value stuff that we clash.

  2. #2342
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poki View Post
    From my point of view EJ'S are more goal driven due to thier Je nature. Because they are goal driven they are aware that ignoring certain data is counter productive to the goal. So while they may argue at first, when they slow down and internalize or bounce ideas out of the moment they can and will adapt to meet the goal.

    They are very stubborn hard headed when they are talking about why things are screwed up, but when it's about knowledge of goal driven data they are open to things that will help them reach thier goal. Pushing towards goals is a positive thing IMO for them. It keeps them open and growing.
    Second paragraph is very accurate.

    First...well, I think most people ignore certain data that doesn't fit their goals. Although I've always seen that to be more of a Ti thing, since it's internal oriented. Te is at least outwardly looking as part of its process.

  3. #2343
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    ok so i guess i have to ask a question
    do you find sympathy or empathy helps you more in situations?

    and why is that?

    Maybe something is broken, but I don't do sympathy. I'm pretty much empathy or nothing. I have to put myself into a person's shoes in order to know how to handle emotional things (with other people).

    Empathy allows me to gauge an emotionally charged situation a lot more accurately. I have a better grasp of what kind of pain/hurt a person is experiencing. Combined with my understanding of that person, I can usually develop a good approach that is both comforting to them while not putting me in a spot that is frustrating.

    It's worked well for me.

  4. #2344
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Honestly? Sympathy. Because I don't feel a lot of empathy most of the time. And expressing sympathy makes me more likely to feel empathy. Like how smiling a lot is scientifically proven to make you happier.
    Can you explain how sympathy works for you? How it feels?

    What's that look like from start to finish in terms of how you react and handle a situation that demands it?

    Curious, since it's not something I relate to.

  5. #2345
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    how fleixible are you? can you lick your own toes? not that you do but if you wanted to could you?
    Not flexible at all.

  6. #2346
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    but i mean when you have an issue do you prefer them to be empathetic or sympathetic?
    Neither.

  7. #2347
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Anything related to my moral code, my friends/family, or anything I have a strong emotional stake in. I don't know if other ESTJs have this problem, but I know I have to be VERY careful in political discussions, because my moral code is the core of my political beliefs, and if things get heated I tend to take the opposing position personally.
    Yes. I tend to stay away from these kinds of conversations because they ultimately aren't productive. Either I get worked up or the other person does (or both of us do).

    And unfortunately for me, once I lose internal balance it takes me a couple of days to re-discover it. I don't like feeling out of whack emotionally (equilibrium ftw) so I don't do stuff that gets all the insides sloshing about.

    On the good side, knowing myself also helps me better spot where I can and cannot engage in a worthwhile discussion. I tend to avoid arguments more easily and find people who share my interest in a dialogue rather than a debate.

    I love learning new things, even if I ultimately don't agree with whatever is being presented to me. It's a shame most people see politics as a knock-down-drag-out contest. Hinders the educational aspect.

    The problem is that humans are wired to avoid pain, and empathy requires seeking that pain out and drawing from it. So empathy is really, really hard for most people.
    Huh. Never thought about it that way. I guess it doesn't bother me.

  8. #2348
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sultan of Beans View Post
    How would you describe your moral code?
    Zippo lighter. Small, intense, and burns if you try to stick your hands in it.

  9. #2349
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    @chubber

    You'll have to explain that rep comment sometime.

  10. #2350
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sil View Post
    @chubber

    You'll have to explain that rep comment sometime.
    It's delicious.

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