User Tag List

Page 219 of 259 FirstFirst ... 119169209217218219220221229 ... LastLast
Results 2,181 to 2,190 of 2589

Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #2181
    awsm Array wolfy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    12,285

    Default

    What is it like to be organised and all that?

  2. #2182
    Junior Member Array lyra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    2

    Default

    How would ESTJs express their interest (particularly romantic) in other people?

    I have an acquaintance who's tested as ESTJ. Honestly, at first I thought of him as an ENTP, due to his large array of (fleeting) interests, and like for debate (among some other things). But looking back, I may have been greatly blinded by my attraction to him (ie. confirmation bias... I admire and like ENTPs quite a bit, therefore he must be one?)
    He reads mainly nonfiction, and is really concerned about being 'productive'. Things he does must fulfill some mean or have some purpose. He places a large emphasis on wealth/family for later in life. He makes decisions based on logic and the best possible outcome. He really enjoys being around people, and has told me how he likes hearing about others' "life stories" and getting to know them well. Seriously, this guy loves interacting with people.
    I've shown him ESTJ descriptions from various sites, and he tells me they fit him pretty well... or at least fit the ideal person he wants to be well.

    So assuming he really is an ESTJ, how would one [me] know if he liked them? I'll list some things that have already occurred (positive and negative) in our relationship, and hopefully one of you will kindly point out what these things all mean?
    -Our mutual acquaintances have joked to me about his "obsession" with me. This was before we really got to know each other (and before he stated that those people misunderstood). I'm still not sure how these acquaintances came to this conclusion, but apparently he talked about me a lot, and expressed interest (sort of weird, but it's all fine since I find him attractive...).
    -He "spills his life secrets"* to me... that is, he's openly talked about his feelings about various topics and life in general to me. I'm sort of like a shrink (totally what every girl wants to be!) in our relationship (one who just listens and doesn't really have any meaningful advice, I guess).
    -Along with openly talking about things like his fears and the future, he's also talked about a girl he's interested in, and how he'd like to have a relationship sometime in the future. He's not identified the girl, but just expressed interest in getting to know a certain "her". Does that mean our relationship is to be permanently platonic?
    -He tells me that I'm one of the few he's this honest with... Great, I guess?
    -He's given me a nickname. I'm not sure if this is something he does with everyone?
    -I'm the one who initiates conversation almost all of the time. Out of all the times we've talked, he's maybe talked to me first two or three times.
    -He doesn't really ask me about myself. This is actually even more troubling, since he's stated how he loves getting to know people. It might be because I'm the type of person who asks about others and their ideas, rather than talking about myself... But still. I'm not sure if he's just that oblivious, or if he actually views me as merely a "shrink" figure, or worse.
    -There are some cases where I'm not sure if he's hinting at something, or if I'm just reading too much into what he's saying. If anyone's actually that interested, PM me? Since these scenarios could reveal my identity?

    What are your opinions on those things listed above? Are there any signs I should look out for, or anything I should do? Any opinion would be greatly appreciated.

    *A quote; I overheard this from other people gossiping about our relationship...
    Likes EH1004 liked this post

  3. #2183
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    1

    Default

    I came here to ask the same thing Lyra just did. Adding a few points regarding my situation.

    -She told me some very personal details about herself. Later she said she doesn't know why she trusts me with those details.
    -He doesn't really ask me about myself. This is actually even more troubling, since he's stated how he loves getting to know people. It might be because I'm the type of person who asks about others and their ideas, rather than talking about myself... But still. I'm not sure if he's just that oblivious, or if he actually views me as merely a "shrink" figure, or worse. Quote from Lyra's post. Exact same scenario.
    -Takes awhile to respond to text, sometimes a full day, but she does always respond. Not sure if work or stress related where she just wants to be away from people or needs to focus? This actually makes me feel like I'm not important or she hates the "small talk" and is being polite?
    -Would text me her schedule and whereabouts without me asking, such as "grabbing lunch now" or "heading home"
    -I get the feeling she is not fully comfortable around me. I feel like she is nervous/uptight the last couple of times we were together.
    -She went to Vegas two weeks ago and would send me pictures via text. Granted she also posts them to Instagram too, she knows I don't have an account.

  4. #2184
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    1,637

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Starcrash View Post
    How do I become a stoic badass like many STJs without compromising my internal sense of authenticity and harmony?
    I thought you were.

  5. #2185
    Be Concerned - TØP Array themightyfetus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    MBTI
    ESFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2 so/sx
    Posts
    2,503

    Default

    What have you most commonly mistyped as, if at all?
    I don't mean to pry, but why would you even make the eyes?


    2 or 3/6w7/9w1

  6. #2186
    Senior Member Array Eskimo2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    MBTI
    :}
    Posts
    5,740

    Default

    Do you get along well with other ESTJ's? Do you find it easier to recognize people of your own type?

  7. #2187
    Senior Member Array great_bay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    MBTI
    intp
    Enneagram
    541
    Posts
    837

    Default

    Are INTP's ESTJs archenemies?

  8. #2188
    Senior Member Array riva's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    MBTI
    estp
    Enneagram
    7w? so
    Posts
    1,906

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by great_bay View Post
    Are INTP's ESTJs archenemies?
    ESTJs might view INTPs as mental masterbators who spend too much time thinking about shit that doesn't matter; not as arch enemies.
    .
    Likes Osprey liked this post

  9. #2189
    Crude & outdated Array Anaximander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp
    Posts
    7,112

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cygnus View Post
    I thought you were.
    outwardly, on many occasions. It's a shield.
    Quote Originally Posted by typh0n
    Usually it's the far left or the far right criticizing the establishment, but I don't see why I couldn't be an "an anti-establishment centrist"

  10. #2190
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    17,416

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    What is it like to be organised and all that?
    A little stressful, tbh. Stressful but also satisfying, when things work out as planned.

    Quote Originally Posted by lyra View Post
    So assuming he really is an ESTJ, how would one [me] know if he liked them? I'll list some things that have already occurred (positive and negative) in our relationship, and hopefully one of you will kindly point out what these things all mean?
    -Our mutual acquaintances have joked to me about his "obsession" with me. This was before we really got to know each other (and before he stated that those people misunderstood). I'm still not sure how these acquaintances came to this conclusion, but apparently he talked about me a lot, and expressed interest (sort of weird, but it's all fine since I find him attractive...).
    Definitely sounds like he's interested.

    Quote Originally Posted by lyra View Post
    -He "spills his life secrets"* to me... that is, he's openly talked about his feelings about various topics and life in general to me. I'm sort of like a shrink (totally what every girl wants to be!) in our relationship (one who just listens and doesn't really have any meaningful advice, I guess).
    This means he either sees you as a valued and trusted friend, or likes you, or both. We don't tell those sorts of secrets to just anyone.

    Quote Originally Posted by lyra View Post
    -Along with openly talking about things like his fears and the future, he's also talked about a girl he's interested in, and how he'd like to have a relationship sometime in the future. He's not identified the girl, but just expressed interest in getting to know a certain "her". Does that mean our relationship is to be permanently platonic?
    Not sure if he's talking about you, or about someone else.

    Quote Originally Posted by lyra View Post
    -He tells me that I'm one of the few he's this honest with... Great, I guess?
    Also a sign of trust, friendship, and/or romantic affection.

    Quote Originally Posted by lyra View Post
    -He's given me a nickname. I'm not sure if this is something he does with everyone?
    No idea.

    Quote Originally Posted by lyra View Post
    -I'm the one who initiates conversation almost all of the time. Out of all the times we've talked, he's maybe talked to me first two or three times.
    This could indicate a number of things. Maybe he takes that aspect of things for granted and doesn't think it's a big deal. Maybe you make him nervous and he sort of avoids you unless you talk to him first.

    Quote Originally Posted by lyra View Post
    -He doesn't really ask me about myself. This is actually even more troubling, since he's stated how he loves getting to know people. It might be because I'm the type of person who asks about others and their ideas, rather than talking about myself... But still. I'm not sure if he's just that oblivious, or if he actually views me as merely a "shrink" figure, or worse.
    Hmm. He might see you as a shrink figure. I feel like if he's "obsessed" with you, he'd want to talk to you about you. On the other hand, I don't know how mature he is, so he could just be that oblivious.

    Quote Originally Posted by lyra View Post
    -There are some cases where I'm not sure if he's hinting at something, or if I'm just reading too much into what he's saying.
    Generally when someone has to ask themselves that question about an ESTJ, the answer is "you're reading too much into what they're saying". ESTJs are usually very straightforward and bad at subtlety.

    Quote Originally Posted by lyra View Post
    What are your opinions on those things listed above? Are there any signs I should look out for, or anything I should do? Any opinion would be greatly appreciated.
    To be honest I have little to no idea. He could like you, he could see you as just a very close friend. It's possible that he used to have a crush on you and then it faded away. It's hard to know.

    Quote Originally Posted by EH1004 View Post
    I came here to ask the same thing Lyra just did. Adding a few points regarding my situation.

    -She told me some very personal details about herself. Later she said she doesn't know why she trusts me with those details.
    See my comment to Lyra.

    Quote Originally Posted by EH1004 View Post
    -He doesn't really ask me about myself. This is actually even more troubling, since he's stated how he loves getting to know people. It might be because I'm the type of person who asks about others and their ideas, rather than talking about myself... But still. I'm not sure if he's just that oblivious, or if he actually views me as merely a "shrink" figure, or worse. Quote from Lyra's post. Exact same scenario.
    Also see my comment to Lyra.
    Quote Originally Posted by EH1004 View Post
    -Takes awhile to respond to text, sometimes a full day, but she does always respond. Not sure if work or stress related where she just wants to be away from people or needs to focus? This actually makes me feel like I'm not important or she hates the "small talk" and is being polite?
    I suspect from this that she hates small talk -- especially small talk via text. I definitely do, because I've always viewed pleasantries like "hey" and "what's up" to be society-imposed necessities, while texting is a way to move past those necessities and just say "when are we meeting up for dinner?" or "saw this video and thought of you". Not to mention, a particular style of semi-flirtatious-but-mostly-intrusive texting can creep me out, even if it's coming from someone I'm interested in.

    Quote Originally Posted by EH1004 View Post
    -Would text me her schedule and whereabouts without me asking, such as "grabbing lunch now" or "heading home"
    That's just ESTJs being on top of things. Means pretty much nothing in terms of whether an ESTJ likes someone or not.

    Quote Originally Posted by EH1004 View Post
    -I get the feeling she is not fully comfortable around me. I feel like she is nervous/uptight the last couple of times we were together.
    Either she likes you, or she knows that you like her and that lack of reciprocity makes her uncomfortable.

    Quote Originally Posted by EH1004 View Post
    -She went to Vegas two weeks ago and would send me pictures via text. Granted she also posts them to Instagram too, she knows I don't have an account.
    Hard to know.

    Question for both of you: Why not just ask them out, and see what happens? While I'm not 100% sure whether your respective ESTJs are interested in you, it's a good sign that they're keeping you around. When I get the feeling that someone is interested in me, and I have no interest in them, I tend to do the very mature and adult thing and avoid them altogether.

    Quote Originally Posted by great_bay View Post
    Are INTP's ESTJs archenemies?
    Quote Originally Posted by riva View Post
    ESTJs might view INTPs as mental masterbators who spend too much time thinking about shit that doesn't matter; not as arch enemies.
    Yeah, I don't know if ESTJs see INTPs as competitors. If anyone is an ESTJ's archenemy, it's someone who operates similarly to them, but in a way that bothers them. So, someone on their radar who they see as a threat. In which case I'd say, an ESTJ's archenemy would probably be any other ExxJ. ENTJs, ENFJs, and other ESTJs come to mind especially.
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

Similar Threads

  1. [INTJ] Ask an INTJ
    By logan235711 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 870
    Last Post: 05-22-2015, 05:04 AM
  2. [ISFJ] How to ask an ISFJ out?
    By Grungemouse in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-08-2009, 07:04 PM
  3. [MBTItm] How do you spot an ESTJ female?
    By INTJMom in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 12-23-2008, 01:27 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •