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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #2071
    Row row row your boat Array SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    Do you consciously choose who you allow close to you or no? It seems largely unconscious to me. This kind of subconscious check-list (Fi like a reverse Te list!) and either that person measures up or they don't.
    I guess it's semi-conscious. Some of it just sort of flows naturally if we hit it off.

    Also, are you aware of how different you appear to people that you are close to vs people you are not? I wince when I've heard people describe my ESTJ as a hardass (then add but most of the time he's pretty cool ).
    Somewhat. I'm so/sp and usually pretty aware of group dynamics and how I factor into them.

    And a personal question for you...do you feel you are more patient because of being a ESTJ 1 vs, say an ESTJ 8?
    Probably. Although when my patience finally runs out it's pretty dramatic.
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  2. #2072
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    Do you consciously choose who you allow close to you or no? It seems largely unconscious to me. This kind of subconscious check-list (Fi like a reverse Te list!) and either that person measures up or they don't.
    Sounds about like how it works for me. I'm only really aware of the "test" once the person has either passed or failed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    Also, are you aware of how different you appear to people that you are close to vs people you are not? I wince when I've heard people describe my ESTJ as a hardass (then add but most of the time he's pretty cool ).
    Since I consciously try to show different sides of myself around different people, it makes sense to me that some would see me differently than others. I'm not really aware of how those people see me, though I'm aware of how I try to be seen.
    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    And a personal question for you...do you feel you are more patient because of being a ESTJ 1 vs, say an ESTJ 8? I haven't been around you in person but at least online you seem much less likely to jump to conclusions and go into, "Here's what you need to do" mode.
    I don't know many 8s irl, but that would make sense. In theory an ESTJ 1 would have a much longer fuse, entirely by force of will. If we had fewer inhibitions, we might react similarly to an 8.

    This question has interesting timing, because I was just thinking about how much more blunt and dictatorial I become when I'm too tired to hold myself back. One of those things you don't realize takes a lot of effort, until you don't have the energy for that effort anymore.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  3. #2073
    across the universe Array Olm the Water King's Avatar
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    Is that Carrie Coon in your avatar or someone who looks a lot like her?

    I like Carrie Coon a lot in The Leftovers.

    Still not sure if that's her in the avatar though, hehe.

  4. #2074
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sultan of Beans View Post
    Is that Carrie Coon in your avatar or someone who looks a lot like her?

    I like Carrie Coon a lot in The Leftovers.

    Still not sure if that's her in the avatar though, hehe.
    It's Jackie Sharp from "House of Cards", actually

    I keep meaning to watch The Leftovers.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #2075
    across the universe Array Olm the Water King's Avatar
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    Oh her. I've watched House of Cards, so I don't know why I didn't recognize her. But yeah, that's an interesting character too. Do you think she's an ESTJ? She's a military woman, so it's not all that unlikely, hehe.

    The Leftovers is a pretty good show. I've seen betters ones, but it's pretty high up there on my list.

  6. #2076
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Aaaand three months later:

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzy Conduit View Post
    How would you sum up ESTJ management style in particular and SJ style in general?
    Part of why I have a hard time answering this question is because, while I do think my initial management style is very SJ, I try to adapt a lot to my team, maximizing their strengths and minimizing their weaknesses -- which isn't something I'd necessarily associate with ESxJ, although my motivations for it are based on "what makes a good manager" (Fi/Si) and "what gets things done" (Te).

    What I try to do whenever I'm in a leadership position and helping people through a task, is:

    1) Starting off by explaining how the task is supposed to go, just so everything is perfectly clear
    2) Making sure everyone knows that I'm always available if they have questions, then leaving people to do their own thing
    3) Popping in periodically to see how they're doing -- trying to be friendly and getting to know who they are as people, and what their strengths and weaknesses are
    4) Taking into account how they operate and adapting my style accordingly -- e.g. more forceful if they need someone to be forceful, or checking in on them more often if they get distracted easily

    If it's a more long-term situation, I may ask them what I can do that would be most helpful to them, as a boss/supervisor -- as well as what is unhelpful and counterproductive. Then I see if their requests are reasonable, and I adapt accordingly.

    (Note also that I'm not actually a manager, and have never explicitly been in a managerial position -- but I enjoy supervising teams and I'd like to think I'd be a good manager someday)

    Edit: Considering @Showbread's current summer job, I summon her to answer this question as well, from an ESFJ perspective

    Quote Originally Posted by Sultan of Beans View Post
    Oh her. I've watched House of Cards, so I don't know why I didn't recognize her. But yeah, that's an interesting character too. Do you think she's an ESTJ? She's a military woman, so it's not all that unlikely, hehe.
    Not sure, actually. I could see it. I relate to her, though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  7. #2077
    Shame as Lit Array Anaximander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Aaaand three months later:


    Part of why I have a hard time answering this question is because, while I do think my initial management style is very SJ, I try to adapt a lot to my team, maximizing their strengths and minimizing their weaknesses -- which isn't something I'd necessarily associate with ESxJ, although my motivations for it are based on "what makes a good manager" (Fi/Si) and "what gets things done" (Te).

    What I try to do whenever I'm in a leadership position and helping people through a task, is:

    1) Starting off by explaining how the task is supposed to go, just so everything is perfectly clear
    2) Making sure everyone knows that I'm always available if they have questions, then leaving people to do their own thing
    3) Popping in periodically to see how they're doing -- trying to be friendly and getting to know who they are as people, and what their strengths and weaknesses are
    4) Taking into account how they operate and adapting my style accordingly -- e.g. more forceful if they need someone to be forceful, or checking in on them more often if they get distracted easily

    If it's a more long-term situation, I may ask them what I can do that would be most helpful to them, as a boss/supervisor -- as well as what is unhelpful and counterproductive. Then I see if their requests are reasonable, and I adapt accordingly.

    (Note also that I'm not actually a manager, and have never explicitly been in a managerial position -- but I enjoy supervising teams and I'd like to think I'd be a good manager someday)
    lol, I forgot about this question.

    I've never officially been a manager or supervisor either but whenever my boss goes on vacation, he leaves me in charge.

  8. #2078
    Senior Member Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    how do you think an ESTJ would fair in jail?
    Perfectly robust chickens
    Run laps a lot
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    Cock is a word for rooster
    Hen is a type of chicken?
    Kit kats are good
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    Zoo
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  9. #2079
    Shame as Lit Array Anaximander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    how do you think an ESTJ would fair in jail?
    Just watch Orange is the New Black (the Kate Mulgrew character for reference).

  10. #2080
    Senior Member Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzy Conduit View Post
    Just watch Orange is the New Black (the Kate Mulgrew character for reference).
    oh i love her she's pretty and fierce. like in attitude but tyra banks fierce but not fierce in looks just attitude
    Perfectly robust chickens
    Run laps a lot
    Pee on the garden
    Leap over fences
    Cock is a word for rooster
    Hen is a type of chicken?
    Kit kats are good
    Nice chickens don't belong in the
    Zoo
    ~@magpie

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