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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #191
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Why do ESTJ's use guilt-trip methods so often in order to control and/or manipulate other people? Do they every feel any remorse after doing this?
    Have you encountered this? I haven't in dating my ESTJ for 6+ years, at all. She'll usually appeal to me by arguing why something is the obvious thing to do using common sense or social affirmation as a benchmark. She never guilt trips. My mother, on the other hand, will guilt trip, but she's an ESFx with extreme self-esteem issues.



  2. #192
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    I definitely encounter it. But among others, it is from my mom. (Whom I think is an ESTJ?) Maybe it's a mom thing? Maybe it's the way ESTJ girls get after becoming mom's?
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #193
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Why are people in general so stubborn and so less open for different opinions on reality ?
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #194
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    How can ESTJ be stopped at boundaries?
    How is ESTJ told to take a few steps back?
    How is ESTJ show what is appreciated by other people and what is not?
    How is ESTJ stopped when they are trying to take control over other people's houses?
    1. Prove to them logically that your method works too. Argue your case. That should get 'em off your back (if they're healthy, that is, and care more about the job than about their own power).
    2. Do you mean, "how do you show an ESTJ" or "how does an ESTJ show"?
    3. Do you mean, like, in a domestic situation? If you do... then what would need to happen is a bit of a heart-to-heart with them in private. Very direct, but not accusatory. (Also, better to do this when they're in a good mood, so they don't take it really personally. They still might get a little upset, but I think that's probably typical.)

    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Why do ESTJ's use guilt-trip methods so often in order to control and/or manipulate other people? Do they every feel any remorse after doing this?
    I... dunno. I don't really do this. Usually when I'm trying to "control" people, I do it as directly as possible. That sort of backhanded technique really pisses me off, actually.

    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    I definitely encounter it. But among others, it is from my mom. (Whom I think is an ESTJ?) Maybe it's a mom thing? Maybe it's the way ESTJ girls get after becoming mom's?
    I'll bet it is a mom thing. Both of my grandmothers do this to an extent (and I know for a fact that neither is ESTJ). Drives me up the WALL.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  5. #195
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Why do ESTJ's use guilt-trip methods so often in order to control and/or manipulate other people? Do they every feel any remorse after doing this?
    I've noticed that they can do this too. ESTJ's have a real ability to be very charming. And when someone has that ability they can always use it for negative purposes. But I'd say their manipulations aren't some grand evil scheme.

    It's more along these lines: I think ESTJ's can be this way when they have a goal that they know they can't reach alone...that they need help. Then their usual "Just the facts, ma'am" style can go the way of the dinosaurs and you're face to face with a humble, puppy dog eyed ESTJ

    I have helped an ESTJ out when I'd rather be doing other things with my time. So in that sense, they made me feel guilty to say 'no' to them. But ultimately, it's my say so. I didn't have to help.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  6. #196
    Member Nat's Avatar
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    Why do some ESTJs feel the need to criticise even when it is clear that it is upsetting the other person?

  7. #197
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    For ESTJs, when it's a choice between getting done what needs to be done/helping the greater good and hurting one person's feelings, or being nice and hurting the cause*, they'll choose hurting the one person's feelings.

    *This is how THEY see it, anyways. And I'm not excusing it.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  8. #198
    Member Nat's Avatar
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    Makes sense. Thanks for your answer EJCC!

  9. #199
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    No problem! That's what I'm here for
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  10. #200
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Yeah I have definitley met this type of ESTJ more than once! ---->

    Then of course, I can't say no. So I end up being pissed and doing whatever it is she WANTS (usually not "needs") to be done and there aren't any rewards for doing it. :rolli:
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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