Thanks so much for your speedy reply. I nearly burst out laughing when I read what you wrote about working on projects together. I kind of thought that would be the answer. In my case I run a music program, and he is an English teacher who started fiddling because of me. He offered to help chaperone on the trips and also to run a yearly event with about 600 people staying at our school and having a music workshop. He not only would be doling out detailed advice about fiddling to kids that I teach with a whole two months' personal experience on the fiddle (me, 20 years!), but also started delegating jobs to me for the workshop even though I had been to one before and he had not. I think it just goes with the territory. He felt I wasn't as concerned with organization, but what he didn't realize is that I was very concerned with it. It was just that my list of what should take priority first was different. He was more concerned with the smaller details, while I wanted to look after the big picture first and then zero in on the little things. On the other hand, he was the most likely to think of things like getting keys from the right people or figuring out how many extension cords would be needed etc. He also drove the people in adult fiddling class nuts by offering advice to those who had been fiddling the same amount of time as him and by cutting me off while I was teaching with his observations and tips etc. I don't know if that is typical or not, but I suspect it is just really difficult not to lead.
Some more questions:
What's the best way to make an ESTJ feel appreciated and valued?
Do ESTJs prefer to learn independently or will they take help if they feel the offerer is competent enough?
Would you say that generally ESTJs prefer practical presents?
If an ESTJ's employee disagrees with him/her, what is the best way (obviously privately) to offer another perspective without making them feel that a subordinate is trying to usurp authority or is a troublemaker?