User Tag List

Page 195 of 259 FirstFirst ... 95145185193194195196197205245 ... LastLast
Results 1,941 to 1,950 of 2589

Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #1941
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,939

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post

    What is it that they do, that indicates that they don't take you seriously? Is it something that happens after you start dating? Or is it friend-zoning?
    It's more friend-zoning. They tell me I'm fun to be around, and easy-going...we laugh a lot...etc...

    I wonder if it's less an ESTJ issue rather than a more general issue I have with guys that I seem friendly, but too relaxed to be relationship-hunting. (Although if I actually do like them, they don't see how wound up internally I am about it!)

    I have wondered though if ESTJs think I'm off in my own world a little too much. They enjoy talking with me about my artistic interests and so on but then they suggest that I need to be with someone more intellectual. They're so down-to-earth... Not that I'm a head-in-the-clouds type INFJ, but to an ESTJ I probably kind of seem like that anyway...

    They seem to find me kind of...comforting to talk to, even if they don't pour out their hearts (though they might occasionally do that) but I think I relax them and don't stress them out. But maybe they actually want a woman who's a bit more on the crazy side.
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

  2. #1942
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    17,472

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    It's more friend-zoning. They tell me I'm fun to be around, and easy-going...we laugh a lot...etc...

    I wonder if it's less an ESTJ issue rather than a more general issue I have with guys that I seem friendly, but too relaxed to be relationship-hunting. (Although if I actually do like them, they don't see how wound up internally I am about it!)

    I have wondered though if ESTJs think I'm off in my own world a little too much. They enjoy talking with me about my artistic interests and so on but then they suggest that I need to be with someone more intellectual. They're so down-to-earth... Not that I'm a head-in-the-clouds type INFJ, but to an ESTJ I probably kind of seem like that anyway...

    They seem to find me kind of...comforting to talk to, even if they don't pour out their hearts (though they might occasionally do that) but I think I relax them and don't stress them out. But maybe they actually want a woman who's a bit more on the crazy side.
    Down-to-earth people are very often drawn towards people with their heads in the clouds -- and I am one of those people! -- so I wouldn't be too quick to blame that. I do think that the bolded has to do with it, though, just because ESTJs can be pretty oblivious. I actually have a similar problem to what I might be seeing with those ESTJs, when I meet guys, i.e. I make an initial judgment of their style of interaction with me, right around the same time as I size them up, physically and personality-wise, to see if they're good boyfriend material. If I really like them, I might start flirting a little to see what they'll do, and if they miss it, then I give up. If I'm not sure, but they start flirting with me, then I'll become more interested because I know they're interested. However -- and this is the potentially relevant part! -- if they aren't flirting, then I can't really tell if they're interested, so I assume that they're not. And if they start flirting much later in the friendship, I might still be viewing things from the lens of that initial judgment/mindset-change, so I wouldn't be able to recognize the flirting for what it was, through the blinders (since I flirt platonically all the time!).

    p.s. I think SD45T-2 would be much more qualified in answering this question, since he's a guy and lived in the UK for a while (? right?), so if he answers and his answer is different from mine, then defer to him!
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  3. #1943
    (in)formation Array Wind Up Rex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    853 sx/sp
    Posts
    4,785

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    This may be a stupid question, but what do you mean by "how do (we) model ideas"?
    It was an admittedly vague turn of phrase. Hmm. Say you were solving a problem. What is your process like? How does Si inform what ideas you take to be relevant?

    I'm assuming there's overlap in how we do things because of Te, but I'm not sure how much. For instance, data collection is a big part of how I go about solving problems. I consciously avoid reinventing the wheel, so I want to be informed as possible. I'm pretty certain that an ESTJ would do the same thing, so I'm trying to figure out at what point our respective approaches to problem solving really diverge. I mean, even defining goals and outcomes is a trait that I attribute to Te. So I'm assuming that the difference has to do with how we assemble or model the information that we get.

    I'm also curious how Tert Ne works for you guys.

    What do you think?
    Little does he know I have a machete in my Chanel bag

  4. #1944
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    17,472

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    It was an admittedly vague turn of phrase. Hmm. Say you were solving a problem. What is your process like? How does Si inform what ideas you take to be relevant?

    I'm assuming there's overlap in how we do things because of Te, but I'm not sure how much. For instance, data collection is a big part of how I go about solving problems. I consciously avoid reinventing the wheel, so I want to be informed as possible. I'm pretty certain that an ESTJ would do the same thing, so I'm trying to figure out at what point our respective approaches to problem solving really diverge. I mean, even defining goals and outcomes is a trait that I attribute to Te. So I'm assuming that the difference has to do with how we assemble or model the information that we get.

    I'm also curious how Tert Ne works for you guys.

    What do you think?
    Hmm. I'll think on that! That's a really good question.

    My (edited) post on the previous page, on Ne, ought to be of some help, though, in the meantime:
    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Yes! Exactly.

    ENTJs create general frameworks/visions for the long term. ESTJs take those frameworks and make them practicable. Neither is as good at the opposite role.

    Edit:

    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    That's definitely interesting. What causes you guys to use Ne?
    I don't know if anything causes it, in particular. I mean, I think we use it all the time, without realizing it, regardless of situation. (Si may be what stores our data, but Ne is what connects all the data together, after it's collected, so it's just as important.) But the two most obvious (and common) instances when ESTJs use a lot of Ne, are

    1. when we're in a relaxed social environment and suddenly turn our silly switch on; and
    2. when we get a blast of creativity.

    #2 usually comes from finding a connection between things that may have seemed to be unrelated. For example, if you give an ESTJ a task, and completely the wrong supplies to do it -- and there's no way for them to get different supplies -- then after the initial reaction of "This is so stupid, why are they making me use this shit", their Ne will come out to play and suddenly they'll become impressively resourceful, using those random tools to accomplish their task, or coming up with a totally different method. Like I said about ESTJ strengths over ENTJs: that's being given a broad goal, and then making sure that it can be, and is, reached. Ne is crucial for that.
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #1945
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,939

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post

    p.s. I think SD45T-2 would be much more qualified in answering this question, since he's a guy and lived in the UK for a while (? right?), so if he answers and his answer is different from mine, then defer to him!
    I have to run in a few minutes so I'll get back to the rest of what you said later!

    But yeah, in the meantime if we can call @SD45T-2 in for some insight that would be good! Although I think he's only fascinated by the UK and hasn't lived here.
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

  6. #1946
    WALMART
    Guest

    Default

    Neat answers. Star Trek sucks, though. Just an fyi.


    What is your preferred work environment?

  7. #1947
    Retired Array Nicki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    1,512

    Default

    Seeing Ne in an ESTJ is beautiful because you never see it coming.

  8. #1948
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,939

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Down-to-earth people are very often drawn towards people with their heads in the clouds -- and I am one of those people! -- so I wouldn't be too quick to blame that. I do think that the bolded has to do with it, though, just because ESTJs can be pretty oblivious. I actually have a similar problem to what I might be seeing with those ESTJs, when I meet guys, i.e. I make an initial judgment of their style of interaction with me, right around the same time as I size them up, physically and personality-wise, to see if they're good boyfriend material. If I really like them, I might start flirting a little to see what they'll do, and if they miss it, then I give up. If I'm not sure, but they start flirting with me, then I'll become more interested because I know they're interested. However -- and this is the potentially relevant part! -- if they aren't flirting, then I can't really tell if they're interested, so I assume that they're not. And if they start flirting much later in the friendship, I might still be viewing things from the lens of that initial judgment/mindset-change, so I wouldn't be able to recognize the flirting for what it was, through the blinders (since I flirt platonically all the time!).

    p.s. I think SD45T-2 would be much more qualified in answering this question, since he's a guy and lived in the UK for a while (? right?), so if he answers and his answer is different from mine, then defer to him!
    What's the best way to make an oblivious ESTJ notice that you like them? Just for future reference

    One of my problems in general is not always being sure when people are flirting with intent. I know it's good advice that if they flirt with everyone, and flirt similarly with you, it's a good indication that this is just their style. But I've been singled out (or so it seemed) and yet still told (directly or indirectly) in the end that they weren't interested... Which might be a case of someone getting cold feet. I think extroverts are generally more likely to have a somewhat flirtatious vibe so this may confuse me sometimes. I relate to a lot of what you said above. Sometimes it's just bad timing. A lot of women say they know right away when they're interested, but with me it's more often when I know them quite well as a friend. But at that stage, either the guy may think I've friend-zoned him already, or he may have friend-zoned me already.

    Is it safe to say that an ESTJ guy would probably be quite forceful and straightforward about it if he was really seriously interested?
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

  9. #1949
    Boaty McBoatface Array SD45T-2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sp
    Posts
    2,597

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    That one depends on the ESTJ -- and I'm curious about how @SD45T-2 would answer!
    My best friend is an ISTJ, another one of my good friends is an ESTP, and I think a few others are ISTPs.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I have to run in a few minutes so I'll get back to the rest of what you said later!

    But yeah, in the meantime if we can call @SD45T-2 in for some insight that would be good! Although I think he's only fascinated by the UK and hasn't lived here.
    I've never been to a foreign country. Hopefully one of these days I can at least visit Canada. I'd prefer to visit Canada over Mexico becase I don't speak Spanish and it seems much less likely that a drug cartel would kidnap me/shoot me/chop my head off. I'm kinda fussy about that stuff.

    I don't think I have any great relationship insight. I'm not sure I even know any female INFJs IRL.
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  10. #1950
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,939

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SD45T-2 View Post

    I don't think I have any great relationship insight. I'm not sure I even know any female INFJs IRL.
    As a male ESTJ, what would you do if you liked a female?

    And, what might make you consider someone/not consider someone romantically?

    (If I'm making you uncomfortable, just say so. )
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

Similar Threads

  1. [INTJ] Ask an INTJ
    By logan235711 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 870
    Last Post: 05-22-2015, 05:04 AM
  2. [ISFJ] How to ask an ISFJ out?
    By Grungemouse in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-08-2009, 07:04 PM
  3. [MBTItm] How do you spot an ESTJ female?
    By INTJMom in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 12-23-2008, 01:27 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •