I have a question for The Usual Suspects of this thread -- and I am tempted to put this question up in the Relationships subforum, but I'm more comfortable asking it here (where it will probably be read by fewer people ), and it also might be type-related.
People haven't really told me, in the past couple of years, how I come across to them -- and I've changed a lot in the past few years, so I really only trust the recent feedback to still be true of me. But the one comment that's been consistent over the past year or two has been this:
"Everything you say is intense."
I've asked people what they mean by that, and what they seem to mean is that I never say anything lightly? I mean, obviously I have a sense of humor, and I can have a silly streak. But apparently, so I've heard, everything I say is weighty, and infused with an intense amount of personal meaning.
I've heard, vaguely, that I come across as "intense", or even "intimidating", and this must be the more specific reason why. But I don't know if it's type-related, or just me. Is it something you guys see in yourselves, or ESTJs you know?
Related question: I also get the feeling that intensity is a turn-off for some people. I can't relate to that. I may even be drawn to intense people, if only because they seem substantial, for lack of a better word, and people who put on a facade of being less substantial than they really are can irritate me. Why would it be a turn-off? I ask this because even though I like that aspect of myself, it obviously is also something that sets me apart from the majority of people -- and is therefore the main factor that makes me "not normal", and the main thing that keeps people from befriending me. And I want to know whether people are justified in being turned off by that.