In short: I'm not mad because I understand how you feel.
That's why I second-guessed the bolded statement, earlier. Nothing you just said implies that they were remembering things any differently. There was never a statement in there that said "I would never say anything like that because I have always felt like I didn't need to be in a relationship" -- they said "I guess I didn't need a relationship after all, I guess I was strong enough to be without one all this time". I actually relate to that thought process, even if I don't tell everyone about it. The first statement you quoted, yes, was based on the feelings of the moment, but the second statement was directly in reference to the previous one, rationally looking back on that emotional phase and retroactively invalidating it. ESTJs do the same thing. Every time you've heard an ESTJ invalidate previous feelings of theirs -- "Oh, that time in my life wasn't so bad, it was more funny than anything else" or "I don't know why I thought that was such a big deal; I didn't realize that my life was easy compared to other people's and that I shouldn't have been complaining" -- is pretty much just the same.Well, I have heard people say things like that...but from different types. Two of the notable examples I can think of are the xNFP I've mentioned, and an ESFJ I used to live with. So...basically I think it's isn't VERY type-related. Maybe a bit. But mainly it's self-awareness related and that can be totally separate from type. It is something that drives me nuts though. I mean, when it's extreme. When one day they say something like "I MUST BE IN A RELATIONSHIP!!! MY LIFE WILL ALWAYS BE LONELY, INCOMPLETE AND BROKEN IF I AM NOT!!!" And not just once...this seemed to be how they felt for quite a long time at least. Plus, so much of their life and actions were directed toward finding someone and getting into that relationship, even to the point of seeming kind of "desperate". Then some time later (probably when they're in a relationship and it's not working out quite how they expected!) they'll be like "You know, I was never the type of girl who NEEDED to be in a relationship. I've always been so independent, I loved my single life and was perfectly fine on my own." Sigh. Sure, we all can make over-emotional statements in the moment which are a bit...too much or not reflective of our overall approach to life. But this just seems like, wow, you've got a really bad memory, or you really like rewriting the past.
Makes more sense from an ESFJ, I think. I would associate that behavior more with Fe than Fi.The ESFJ was actually extremely prone to that. She'd tell you about stuff that you'd supposedly said to her (usually MEAN, CRUEL stuff) and you knew perfectly well you never had. And you also knew that when she said "oh, Peter? I was never really into him, just saw him like a friend", she'd actually been chasing him like insanity all over the place so that you were almost embarrassed for her.
Yeah, I think self-awareness and family background both have something to do with it. But I also stick with what I've been saying.Upshot: this is probably more about self-awarenes than type.