Even though I can't think of a good example of that happening to me -- I just thought of an example of something similar, and also an example of immature ESTJs and how they act:
When I was in middle school thru early high school, everyone thought I was so arrogant. Not just because of my unconstrained Te (i.e. feeling like my opinion was the only opinion and everyone else was SO FREAKING WRONG), but because I would occasionally bring up how much teachers liked me, or how good my grades were, or where I ranked in the class, or things that people complimented me on. Everyone thought I was insecure, or trying to compensate for something. But what it really was, was something similar to what you were asking about -- i.e. stating things with such matter-of-factness and certainty. See, everything I was saying had been told to me directly by people I trusted, e.g. my parents, professors. It wasn't that I was arrogant; I had just been told how smart I was so often that I took it as fact. Also, I loved being complimented, and because I was naive I thought I was sharing the joy by sharing those details, just like any other cool story I would want to share. Either that, or I would try and advise people based on my experience being teacher's pet, etc. But people weren't all that friendly towards that behavior, obviously!
I do much, much better at everything when I bounce my ideas off people. I'm not all that good at choosing my words carefully and the only times when I am really and truly deliberate about what I'm saying is when I know that I'm walking on eggshells with someone. When a person is mad at me, and I'm trying to reason with them and/or explain where I'm coming from, I practically sound like a Ti type. But that's really only as a last resort, since it's so difficult for me to be that deliberate in what I do in my everyday life.On the whole, would you say that you guys tend to do more saying what you mean long-term/choosing your words carefully and thinking about them before you speak; or more thinking aloud, somewhat making it up as you go along? Or does that vary quite a bit from individual ESTJ to individual?
I'm not sure if I'm interpreting your question correctly -- I mean, if I answered it literally, I would say that I don't know which way I "do better" with, since I hardly give the other method a chance -- but I would say that in general the way that I make the best decisions is bouncing ideas off of other people, or at least, talking at them and hoping they'll chip in and/or fact-check me. I don't know how many other ESTJs are like this, since so many ESTJs are stuck in the immature Te-focused phase that I described earlier, but if I really have no idea how something works, my first instinct is to ask someone who knows, i.e. to seek out an expert. Maybe this is my dominant Social instinct combined with Si, but I always -- and I mean ALWAYS -- know where I rank in groups of people, in any category you can think of, so if I need to make a big decision and I don't feel prepared to make it, not only will I want to find someone who will prepare me for it, but I will have a first choice, second choice, and third choice for people to turn to.
Thoughts from @sui generis and/or @feisty?
p.s. What do you mean by "saying what you mean long-term"?