And she didn't used to be like this which is why it particularly annoys me - I thought she was more sensible than that. Perhaps it's menopause?
No enthusiasm is not the problem.I'm confused by this complaint. Is this irritating to you? Also -- how are special and interesting traits not admirable? If I think something is really special and interesting, then I think it's worth bragging about, because I want everyone else to know how cool it is. I put admirable things in the same category. Anything that makes you go "Holy cow, are you serious?!?" as a result.
I ask because I didn't realize that that sort of enthusiasm turned people off.
Hmm, it's something that's difficult to explain I suppose. I'm not opposed to being proud of one's kids or excited by what they do (it's rather lovely actually). It's when it becomes a superiority thing; like she's wanting to engage in a pissing contest totally assured she'll win (because that's what it's really about, her).
No, she wasn't fully intending on following through, but she talks about it as if she totally would. It's just strange how planned out and seriously she takes even a hypothetical situation - and how much she then falls in love with the idea and then begins to think it very practical and devoid of any possible flaws.Are you sure she was serious? Sometimes when my Ne is active I'll say things like "How cool would it be if...", but I won't actually mean it, and I won't plan on following up on it. I'll just think that the hypothetical scenario is fun.
Thanks for your answers BTW
Yes, ESTJs are so passionate when they're pissed off and people tend to write it off as crazy ranting. They don't seem to have much self-awareness in such a moment and aren't as able to edit the expression of their feelings or tone down their intensity. I feel so bad for my sister because ever since she was a kid, she was teased for this. This is partly related to my national culture, which strongly emphasizes temperance and a laid-back demeanour; so being fervent and passionate is frowned upon, ridiculed even. She blows up about something not being fair, for example, and people laugh at her reaction - then she gets even angrier and they mock her even more. Eventually she becomes quite upset at being so devalued and misunderstood. I really sympathise with her frustration - it's really horrible to have your perspective undermined or to have your emotions dismissed . She has become a lot better at keeping her temper, though (working in hospitality will do that - nothing tests one's patience more ). I must say however, I do admire her butt-kicking ability in general. While people like me dilly-dally or just put up with crap, she's taking action and speaking up for what is right.I relate to all of this. The bolded is an especially interesting insight -- because since I don't know anyone else irl who is like that, and no one I'm friends with relates to it (one of my only fights with my ENFJ friend started when he got angry with me for "overreacting" to him teasing me when I was embarrassed), I do usually feel like a crazy bitch when I react that way. It's part of why I hate that the reaction is instinctive. I don't want to act like a crazy bitch. I don't want to be seen as that, because -- like you said -- I'm not one.
I think the whole thing is made worse when you're a woman too. If a guy does it - he's considered a bit overly aggressive (which lets face it, most societies don't consider to be all that negative). If a woman does it - she's a crazy, psycho bitch.