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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #1581
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    Huh.
    The first bolded would mean I'm a total bore. I'm enthousiastic about just anything. If you have a problem with that, please just go away. Otherwise, let's swap cupcake recipes!
    Amen, sistah.
    The second bolded. You really think you need a Te to get into doing cool things? Just imagining isn't enough for my Ne - it's extraverted, you know, it wants to interact with the real world. I don't need Te to start huge projects... I need it to complete them!!
    That's true! I hadn't thought about it that way. I guess it's because my Ne can only operate with my Te's consent, meaning whenever my Ne has a cool idea, it has certain requirements it has to fulfill before the idea can happen:

    Ne: What if we did this really cool thing, and it had all these cool things to go with it -- that would be really, really cool!!!
    Te: Do you really want to do it? Don't talk to me about it if you don't want to see it through to the end.
    Ne: I really really want to do it!!!
    Te: All right... well, regardless of how much you want to do it, I'm only going to OK the project if it's practical, considering resources and amount of available time. Is it practical?
    Ne: Yep!
    Te: Okay. *stamps Ne's idea with seal of approval* Now go out there and get it done. And if you don't want to get it done, then I'll get it done for you.

    So you were right, that Te isn't about getting the thing started. But, like the judge in your comics, my Te has to OK everything I want to do, before I do it.

    About ESTJs and tradition: I think you're quite able to establish new traditions. Traditions don't need to come from what society expects from you. Si has got the supporting role: goals are easier to reach if you know how to get to them.
    On the whole, I think ESTJs are contented people. They're easily satisfied with how things are done. If they are not, you'll get the whole Te-I'll-reach-this-whatever-it-takes.
    Exactly! Especially the bolded. I think xSTJs might be the type that is most easily satisfied with things done well. I mean, we are famously prone towards taking things done "the right way" for granted -- but when something is done perfectly, you see the ESTJ's Ne come out and they will tell everyone how impressed they are!
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  2. #1582
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    If there has been one theme on this thread, throughout its history, it has been that "tradition" is a subjective term. I'm a female ESTJ, and because I wasn't raised in an environment where gender roles mattered, and because I don't live in a community where gender roles matter, I just don't care about them. I don't reconcile my Te with gender roles, because I have accepted the fact that my personality (not my personality type, but my personality as a whole) can't really function in the construct of gender roles.

    If my partner can't handle my Te, then too bad for him. If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.
    Your case is different. I am interested in the average female who usually accepts traditional gender roles.

    I have used the example of an ISTJ growing up in SF and one in the bible belt arguing over gay rights because both are defending some kind of tradition. So I know what you mean. Nevertheless yours is a specific case.



    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    So you were right, that Te isn't about getting the thing started. But, like the judge in your comics, my Te has to OK everything I want to do, before I do it.
    What is the Te's decision on casual sex without the prospect of a LTR?

  3. #1583
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Istbkleta View Post
    Your case is different. I am interested in the average female who usually accepts traditional gender roles.
    If you came into this thread asking questions about ESTJ women and gender roles, I'm not sure if you're in a position to say whether I'm "different" or not.

    I would argue that in most of America, women of my generation were not raised to believe that they would be the ones doing the cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing in a relationship (or at least, that they would be doing all of the child-rearing on their own -- they may expect to do most of it). They expect that both partners will have a career, each will clean up after themselves, and whichever would rather do the cooking will do the cooking. And for the most part, college-aged girls my age, regardless of type, are not in college expecting to have to give up their job when they have children.
    I have used the example of an ISTJ growing up in SF and one in the bible belt arguing over gay rights because both are defending some kind of tradition. So I know what you mean. Nevertheless yours is a specific case.
    So is yours. I might call my experience more typical, because "bible belt" tradition is not majority tradition. And therefore I would consider myself more "average".

    EDIT: But if you're wondering about a hypothetical scenario -- i.e. if an ESTJ decided to follow traditional gender roles, how would they reconcile their Te with that -- the answer is that they would be very much like Claire in "Modern Family". They would keep themselves busy doing things that they feel make the world a better place, but those things would be within a particular box -- e.g. church committees, school board -- and they would still find a way to be their big bossy selves just within those confines. Te is a lifestyle, not a tool, for ESTJs -- just like Ne presumably is for you. We can't live without it -- it's just a matter of adaptation.
    What is the Te's decision on casual sex without the prospect of a LTR?
    Depends on personal values, and level of sex drive. Whether or not you enjoy casual sex, whether or not you are offended by it, etc. Therefore I know that I am not speaking for all ESTJs when I say that I am not the sort of person who wants casual sex.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  4. #1584
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    Dear ESTJs,

    Why are you so awesome on the boards but so mean to me eye - arrr- ell?

    ~ a cupcake without frosting but with ganache inside.

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    Thanks!

    That was a cool answer. Thanks for entertaining that hypothetical questions.

    You'd be surprised how many women dream of staying home and not having to work (or at least not for money and with the responsibilities of a provider).

    Te/Ne is a way of life. Aren't we all helpless victims of our dom functions LOL

    Thanks for the cool answers!


    Btw, what do you think of "feminine" men (Fi doms for example)?

  6. #1586
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Dear ESTJs,

    Why are you so awesome on the boards but so mean to me eye - arrr- ell?

    ~ a cupcake without frosting but with ganache inside.
    I don't know if the ESTJs you've dealt with are 99% "confirmed" ESTJs or not, but I would have to say that having spent time now on typology forums and just reading what's out there, there are an awful lot of people who assume that every mean person with a somewhat domineering attitude is an ESTJ. Which is why I take it with a grain of salt when I read about one mean ESTJ boss and dad after another.

    Some people behave like unhealthy ESTJs when they're in positions of authority; some people behave like unhealthy ESFPs when they party; a lot of American moms behave like ESFJs because that's how they've been socialized. It doesn't mean that all those people are ESTJs, ESFPs or ESFJs in actual fact.

    Just my 2 cents.
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  7. #1587
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I don't know if the ESTJs you've dealt with are 99% "confirmed" ESTJs or not, but I would have to say that having spent time now on typology forums and just reading what's out there, there are an awful lot of people who assume that every mean person with a somewhat domineering attitude is an ESTJ. Which is why I take it with a grain of salt when I read about one mean ESTJ boss and dad after another.

    Some people behave like unhealthy ESTJs when they're in positions of authority; some people behave like unhealthy ESFPs when they party; a lot of American moms behave like ESFJs because that's how they've been socialized. It doesn't mean that all those people are ESTJs, ESFPs or ESFJs in actual fact.

    Just my 2 cents.
    Mark: missed.

    That wasn't my intention at all.

  8. #1588
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Mark: missed.

    That wasn't my intention at all.
    I thought it was possible that I was missing the mark, but I had to say it anyway. What was your intention?
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  9. #1589
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Dear ESTJs,

    Why are you so awesome on the boards but so mean to me eye - arrr- ell?

    ~ a cupcake without frosting but with ganache inside.




    Who was mean to you?? Do I have permission to find them and, at the very least, scold them? *wags disapproving finger*
    Quote Originally Posted by Istbkleta View Post
    You'd be surprised how many women dream of staying home and not having to work (or at least not for money and with the responsibilities of a provider).
    In what part of the country do you live? Maybe it's because I'm in college, but I know very few people who dream of that. I do know a few people who would love to be stay-at-home moms, but I know no one who strives towards unemployment, specifically.
    Te/Ne is a way of life. Aren't we all helpless victims of our dom functions LOL
    True that!
    Btw, what do you think of "feminine" men (Fi doms for example)?
    Honestly, I prefer "feminine" men. If a man is very "masculine" in the traditional sense, it's likely that he would feel threatened by my Te and how I exercise it. "Feminine" men are more likely to enjoy being in a relationship with women who can hold their own, in conversation or in any other situation. I also feel like they balance me out more; they have the skills that I lack, and vice versa.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  10. #1590
    Ruler of the Stars Array Asterion's Avatar
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    [ringo star accent] Dear ESTJs,

    What do you make of Abortion?

    yours truly, Asterion.[/ringo star accent]
    5 3 9

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