In short, I'm very, very aware of discord, but I'm 99% sure that other ESTJs are different.
Re: your second question, I don't know if it's extroversion in general, but it's definitely Te. Just as everyone is prone towards expecting other people to act just like them, ESTJs tend to expect other people to use Te when solving problems, and just Get It Done-- instead of using Ti and carefully collecting all necessary information before acting. Have you tried voicing your uncertainty? The ESTJ would immediately understand where you're coming from if, in work situations, you ask questions to get any information you need. After all, I'm exactly the same way; if I have to do something I've never done before, I want to know how to do it perfectly before I even begin to try, because that builds up my non-existent confidence in getting the (new) job done well. So if someone else was in the same situation, I would relate to them immediately -- and I would be happy to answer their questions to the best of my ability, because I would want the job to be done well, and giving the best advice would lead to the best results.