User Tag List

First 4090130138139140141142150190240 Last

Results 1,391 to 1,400 of 2615

Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #1391
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    1,764

    Default

    *cry* why are you all refusing that time machine? Take it and give it to me, I'll pay you a washing and a dishwashing machine, okay? I want to take the time machine apart and see how it works. Because any working time machine violates my favourite law of physics. It's worth an article in Nature, at least. Maybe the Nobel prize. I promise that I will test it thoroughly before attempting to prevent disasters (and ending up causing them, like in those science fiction stories). I'll first smash a vase, get back into time half a minute and see if the vase is whole again.
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  2. #1392
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    esTJ
    Enneagram
    875 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ESTx
    Posts
    746

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    *cry* why are you all refusing that time machine? Take it and give it to me, I'll pay you a washing and a dishwashing machine, okay?
    ...a washer I don't have to pay with coins AND a dishwasher?!?



    I chose washing machine because I have a poor imagination and am not that great at imagining any reality other than my own.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  3. #1393
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,939

    Default

    What would you say about an ESTJ with whom you have a conversation like the below? I am fairly sure that the person I had this convo with was an ESTJ, an acquaintance. It was some time ago but it raised my curiosity.

    I was telling him about the new job I had landed, which was kind of my dream job, though only a maternity cover contract. He listened and asked questions and gave me some advice about managing my heavy workload. Then he said, and I remember this vividly... "Don't get your hopes too high...it's probably going to be a disappointment anyway."

    I didn't know him that well and didn't say much in response to that but I do remember being a bit annoyed. It just seemed a bit...unnecessary, and it wasn't like I'd said that I expected this job to make all my dreams come true (I don't expect that from my work!), though I was at least somewhat excited. I remember thinking to myself "that was spoken like a person who's suffered some disappointments in life himself." I even felt that it seemed slightly bitter. Like I said, I didn't know him that well but he struck me as a very hard working and somewhat isolated figure (like, he wasn't in a long-term relationship and I think he probably wanted to be...don't most of us?). I also wondered if he felt unappreciated for his hard work.

    Maybe it's not type-related at all, just this individual. But what do you think? Why would an ESTJ react like that?
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

  4. #1394
    [bento boxed] EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    18,253

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Anna intuitive View Post
    I have another strategy that I'm adding to my first two:
    1. Pursue excellence in my work in relation to her.
    2. Be neutral - i.e. if I feel bugged by something she says, let it go. Usually it's something to do with type differences. I let it fall into a neutral space in me.
    3. Communicate clearly, briefly and directly about practical matters and keep her updated. I have more practical admin matters to interact with her about since I'm taking over some of the coordinator functions, and I notice that communication without frills is fine for her. Less tiring for me too, since I'm not good with Fe (the aptitude to say the right thing at the right time).

    I feel clearer about this now. I was mixing up the two issues, her unhappiness and my taking over functions as coordinator. That was confusing me and making me feel uneasy. I feel calmer now.
    Excellent! Yes, given that extra information, I definitely agree with you that it's two different issues, and I think you're doing exactly the right thing. Poor thing Now that I know she's a 1w2 (like me), I empathize with her even more. Just imagining crying in a meeting... talking about the "meaning of life" during work (and without being emotionally detached!)... I can't imagine!
    BTW I have read the entire thread now and have watched the videos! *humble bow*
    HOLY CRAP.

    You are five billion times more patient and dedicated than I am! In your position I don't know if I would ever go through all of that. All I can say is that I hope that it, as a thread, was - and continues to be - as helpful as I try to make it. Even the really old posts. God, I was so young then!

    (p.s. I have a new video up!)
    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    *cry* why are you all refusing that time machine? Take it and give it to me, I'll pay you a washing and a dishwashing machine, okay? I want to take the time machine apart and see how it works. Because any working time machine violates my favourite law of physics. It's worth an article in Nature, at least. Maybe the Nobel prize. I promise that I will test it thoroughly before attempting to prevent disasters (and ending up causing them, like in those science fiction stories). I'll first smash a vase, get back into time half a minute and see if the vase is whole again.
    Sure! As long as I know that it will be like the science fiction stories where it's impossible to change history... as opposed to, say, The Butterfly Effect. In which case, I wouldn't let anyone get their hands on it, for fear of it being stolen by someone with bad intentions.
    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    What would you say about an ESTJ with whom you have a conversation like the below? I am fairly sure that the person I had this convo with was an ESTJ, an acquaintance. It was some time ago but it raised my curiosity.

    I was telling him about the new job I had landed, which was kind of my dream job, though only a maternity cover contract. He listened and asked questions and gave me some advice about managing my heavy workload. Then he said, and I remember this vividly... "Don't get your hopes too high...it's probably going to be a disappointment anyway."

    I didn't know him that well and didn't say much in response to that but I do remember being a bit annoyed. It just seemed a bit...unnecessary, and it wasn't like I'd said that I expected this job to make all my dreams come true (I don't expect that from my work!), though I was at least somewhat excited. I remember thinking to myself "that was spoken like a person who's suffered some disappointments in life himself." I even felt that it seemed slightly bitter. Like I said, I didn't know him that well but he struck me as a very hard working and somewhat isolated figure (like, he wasn't in a long-term relationship and I think he probably wanted to be...don't most of us?). I also wondered if he felt unappreciated for his hard work.

    Maybe it's not type-related at all, just this individual. But what do you think? Why would an ESTJ react like that?
    I don't think it's type-related. I can rationalize it so that it becomes type-related, by saying that he was using his experiences (Si) to advise you (Te) and protect you from being hurt (Fi). But he said it resentfully and not matter-of-factly, and resentful comments are not type-related at all. So I'd say that your intuition was correct, about why he reacted that way, i.e. that something in his life was going wrong and he was feeling pessimistic about life and opportunities in general. "Everything good becomes bad, and everything goes wrong at some point. Why should this be any different?"

    So sad.
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #1395
    Member Anna intuitive's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    31

    Default

    This thread has made this difference to me: it has taken away that semi-permanent feeling (quite huge) of irritation and frustration towards my ESTJ colleague. It was chewing up so much energy. Now this issue has moved right away from the centre of my awareness. When it comes up for me, I remember my strategies, I remember what I have learned on this thread, and it all stays quiet and manageable.

    I'll be continuing to follow the thread, to keep it that way (quiet and manageable). Plus I'm an addict.

    To put the record straight, my ESTJ colleague was emotionally detached when she talked about the meaning of life - so detached that she almost wasn't there. I just remember it, that's all.

  6. #1396
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,926

    Default

    What kind of hobbies do you have? Do you feel like you are wasting time while doing them?

  7. #1397
    [bento boxed] EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    18,253

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Anna intuitive View Post
    This thread has made this difference to me: it has taken away that semi-permanent feeling (quite huge) of irritation and frustration towards my ESTJ colleague. It was chewing up so much energy. Now this issue has moved right away from the centre of my awareness. When it comes up for me, I remember my strategies, I remember what I have learned on this thread, and it all stays quiet and manageable.
    Hooray!
    I'll be continuing to follow the thread, to keep it that way (quiet and manageable). Plus I'm an addict.
    Glad there's enough instant gratification here for that to be possible! (And I hope my videos were helpful, even though I'm sure I appear and act totally differently from the ESTJs you know, mostly because of age)
    To put the record straight, my ESTJ colleague was emotionally detached when she talked about the meaning of life - so detached that she almost wasn't there. I just remember it, that's all.
    Spooky!
    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    What kind of hobbies do you have? Do you feel like you are wasting time while doing them?
    Most of my hobbies are productive Or at least, I wouldn't consider them to be a waste of time. This site, for instance, is a learning tool, and a place to talk about MBTI and Enneagram, and a place where I can talk about my own feelings with the knowledge that it won't be awkward, and will be instead analyzed in a helpful way (as it was meant to). None of that is possible for me in real life.

    Also, any other hobby of mine that might be considered a waste of time, is something that I do with friends or family (or that I just have an intense passion for). And I absolutely never consider fun times with friends to be wasted time. Note: Usually my unproductive hobbies are the ones that I use as rewards after a long day/week.

    Here's a list:

    Directly productive hobbies:
    - Knitting/sewing
    - Miscellaneous crafts (e.g. woodworking, refurbishing)
    - Cooking (but only with other people; cooking as a social activity is one of my favorite things )
    - Volunteering

    Indirectly productive hobbies:
    - TypeC
    - Reading
    - Cycling/walking/hiking
    - Exploring new restaurants/clubs/fun places I've never been
    - Random internet research (e.g. Wikipedia time)

    Unproductive hobbies:
    - Video games
    - Listening to/playing music
    - Appreciating/making art
    - Going clubbing
    - Watching movies/TV
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  8. #1398
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    esTJ
    Enneagram
    875 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ESTx
    Posts
    746

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    What kind of hobbies do you have? Do you feel like you are wasting time while doing them?
    I don't think it's a waste of time if I'm learning or benefitting from it somehow. I feel like I'm wasting time if my brain is "off" and I'm not actively thinking about something.

    My hobbies include reading, journal writing, exercise (cycling, swimming, dance, yoga), the occasional art project, volunteerism, exploring the city.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  9. #1399
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,926

    Default

    EJCC,
    Wow, you even play video games! Very interesting, thanks for the answer.

    I don't think it's a waste of time if I'm learning or benefitting from it somehow. I feel like I'm wasting time if my brain is "off" and I'm not actively thinking about something.
    Interesting. I can relate.

    I asked because my ESTJ dad seems to have no hobbies. Even when he likes, he can't watch a movie until the end because he always stops in the middle to wash dishes or something.
    I usually avoid talking to him because all he talks about is boring stuff I should do (mostly NOW) or, sometimes, boring stuff i should have done, along with the classic ''I told you''.
    He seems to be Eneagram type 8, so there are gonna be differences .

  10. #1400
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    esTJ
    Enneagram
    875 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ESTx
    Posts
    746

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    I asked because my ESTJ dad seems to have no hobbies. Even when he likes, he can't watch a movie until the end because he always stops in the middle to wash dishes or something.
    To an extent, I relate to this. As I'm posting on here, I'm also watching TV and working on homework. Usually it's just that I have so much energy that I feel like I'm not doing enough if I'm just sitting there. I try not to make other people live up to my standards though.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

Similar Threads

  1. [INTJ] Ask an INTJ
    By logan235711 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 870
    Last Post: 05-22-2015, 05:04 AM
  2. [ISFJ] How to ask an ISFJ out?
    By Grungemouse in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-08-2009, 07:04 PM
  3. [MBTItm] How do you spot an ESTJ female?
    By INTJMom in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 12-23-2008, 01:27 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO