[ESTJ] Ask an ESTJ!

[EJCC]

I can't believe you've kept this going. That's amazing! :birthday::birthday:

There's not much better proof of my ESTJ-ness than the fact that I've kept this going for so long, tbh. And the fact that that level of commitment doesn't exhaust me at all.

 

[Sil]

What are you used to be oblivious of?

Not as much anymore, but people's limits. I can blow past those and not realize I've trampled on someone until long afterwards.

 

[SD45T-2]

Question for people who know ESTJs, and also [MENTION=26167]Ursa[/MENTION] and [MENTION=15246]SD45T-2[/MENTION] and any new ESTJs I haven't met yet:

Are these ESTJ traits?

• Surprising people with unexpected insights, seemingly out of nowhere
• Having unexpected elements of their life story or unexpected skills that people are always shocked to have not heard about earlier

If so, why?

I ask because they are Ron Swanson traits, and also me traits - me to the point of gaining the reputation of being the Ron Swanson of my friend group. (I'm much more emotive than him, and my politics are the opposite of his, but he is still my pop culture patronus.)

More thoughts on this ...

I've always been fairly curious about certain things and how they work. As I've gotten older and increasingly unhappy/disillusioned with life my interests have taken a more existential turn, with stuff like epistemology, metacognition, and factors in how relationships work (or don't). That still hasn't fixed my problems, but at least I have a somewhat better understanding of what I'm struggling with and why.

 

[muri]

I am INFJ, I like one of my colleague ESTJ. I felt chemistry between us when we are together but once we are apart we don't text or have phone call personally. She asked me to have dinner with her once after the meeting and invited me to join seminar with her. Last week I decided to tell her how I feel by texting and tell her I would like to know her more but she did not give any respond. So I wonder
- As she is workaholic so having relationship is not her first priority or she is just not into me?
- Should I tell her in person what I feel again or just leave it and see how she would react when we see each other?
- If she doesn't feel the same way as me, will she be uncomfortable when we see each other?

 

[Luigi]

Have you ever been interested in journalism?

Yes, the plan is to be employed as a successful journalist.

 

[Luigi]

@EJCC

I know they don't share any functions.
However, despite my prodigious research, I still have a hard time understanding the difference(s) between ESTJ and ESTP, and what that's like.
Could you enlighten me, please?

 

[EJCC]

@EJCC

I know they don't share any functions.
However, despite my prodigious research, I still have a hard time understanding the difference(s) between ESTJ and ESTP, and what that's like.
Could you enlighten me, please?

To a degree I see how you're confused - I often relate more to ESTPs than I relate to other ESTJs. But I've found that our biggest differences lie in our tolerance for chaos - ESTPs are even more "what are we waiting for, let's do it" than ESTJs are, because they're significantly less risk-averse and chaos-fearing than ESTJs are. Compare descriptions of SPs and SJs and you'll see what I mean.

Also: nearly every ESTP I've ever met has been either Neutral or Chaotic on the Chaotic/Lawful spectrum, whereas every single ESTJ I've met, no exceptions, myself included, has been Lawful.

If I were to choose between the two, for you, based on your posting style, I'd strongly vote ESTP.

Summoning [MENTION=1180]miss fortune[/MENTION] for input from the other side of the aisle

 

[Luigi]

To a degree I see how you're confused - I often relate more to ESTPs than I relate to other ESTJs. But I've found that our biggest differences lie in our tolerance for chaos - ESTPs are even more "what are we waiting for, let's do it" than ESTJs are, because they're significantly less risk-averse and chaos-fearing than ESTJs are. Compare descriptions of SPs and SJs and you'll see what I mean.

Also: nearly every ESTP I've ever met has been either Neutral or Chaotic on the Chaotic/Lawful spectrum, whereas every single ESTJ I've met, no exceptions, myself included, has been Lawful.

If I were to choose between the two, for you, based on your posting style, I'd strongly vote ESTP.

Summoning @miss fortune for input from the other side of the aisle

Thanks for the help.

 

[miss fortune]

yes... as a chaotic good person I can assure you that I feel most ALIVE when there is chaos going on

 

[EJCC]

yes... as a chaotic good person I can assure you that I feel most ALIVE when there is chaos going on

Whereas I feel closest to death when there is chaos going on

 

[Coriolis]

Whereas I feel closest to death when there is chaos going on

To muddy the waters further, I have no problem with chaos as long as I can turn it to my advantage somehow.

 

[EJCC]

To muddy the waters further, I have no problem with chaos as long as I can turn it to my advantage somehow.

Doesn't that mean it isn't chaos anymore? Because you still end up being in control.

 

[Coriolis]

Doesn't that mean it isn't chaos anymore? Because you still end up being in control.

Not exactly, but it is certainly chaotic to others, which is part of what I can take advantage of, whether they are personally bothered by it or not.

 

[Dreamer]

[MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION] [MENTION=1180]miss fortune[/MENTION] [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION]

What sort of chaos are we talking about here? I have like three potential understandings of "chaos" that can be used here, gotta figure out which one to use haha

Internal chaos? Emotional or mental, plans falling apart last second, external chaos like a huge earthquake hits or something? etc.

 

[EJCC]

[MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION] [MENTION=1180]miss fortune[/MENTION] [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION]

What sort of chaos are we talking about here? I have like three potential understandings of "chaos" that can be used here, gotta figure out which one to use haha

Internal chaos? Emotional or mental, plans falling apart last second, external chaos like a huge earthquake hits or something? etc.

The first two (internal + plans), yes. I hate them. I reacted viscerally to even reading them, lol.

 

[Dreamer]

The first two (internal + plans), yes. I hate them. I reacted viscerally to even reading them, lol.

Ahh I see. What about plans falling through distresses you? Is it like, the plans you've already concocted is the ideal situation and moving away from that, even if the ultimate goal still succeeds...actually ya really, I am very curious to know now. But hey, feel free not to answer if you're already knee deep in the land of viscerals (I have no idea what that even means...)

 

[EJCC]

Ahh I see. What about plans falling through distresses you? Is it like, the plans you've already concocted is the ideal situation and moving away from that, even if the ultimate goal still succeeds...actually ya really, I am very curious to know now. But hey, feel free not to answer if you're already knee deep in the land of viscerals (I have no idea what that even means...)

I have always reacted very poorly to things not going the way I want them to. The only thing that has changed over time, re: that tendency in myself, is how general I make my plans. (I'm the sort of person who plans to not have plans during particular time intervals.) In general, I make plans for everything - my default mode is plan-making - but I also tend to commit to everything, and emotionally invest in what I commit to, so once I'm mentally committed to something going a particular way, it's really frustrating when it doesn't work out the way I planned.

 

[LovecraftianMonstrosity]

Is it just my subconscious or do you think estjs have to adopt more responsibility than most at a young age? I admire them for a sort of grace under pressure especially in professional situations, but I think they can be a bit lacking in vulnerability for romance.

 

[EJCC]

Is it just my subconscious or do you think estjs have to adopt more responsibility than most at a young age? I admire them for a sort of grace under pressure especially in professional situations, but I think they can be a bit lacking in vulnerability for romance.

1. You have the best username.

2. I can't speak for all ESTJs in this regard, but I know that I was given more responsibility from a young age because I proved so often that I could handle it - and that I enjoyed it.

3. Yep, my romantic vulnerability is... minimal. But I know that about myself, so the next time I'm in a relationship, I'm going to try to be mindful of it.

 

[Merced]

Is it just my subconscious or do you think estjs have to adopt more responsibility than most at a young age? I admire them for a sort of grace under pressure especially in professional situations, but I think they can be a bit lacking in vulnerability for romance.

I'm a young ESTJ and I definitely take on more responsibility than a vast majority of my peers. I'm also very unsuccessful in the romance department, with vulnerability being a reason.