And reading your thread has been extremely helpful, to see what in her is ESTJ, what in me is INFP reacting, what in both of us is our other issues, and so on.
For the next six days, I get to test out my new understanding. I am going to be training in five and a half day workshop with my ESTJ trainer. During the day I participate in the workshop, while also filling out quite a complicated form about how I understand the questions, the progression of the workshop and the facilitation. We then spend an hour after the workshop where I report on what I wrote and we discuss it. Up until now this has all been terribly stressful for me.
Now after reading your thread this is my theory: my problem is all about communication. I try to communicate my understanding of the workshop in my natural way, which is through intuitions and feelings. Then she does not understand this and I get confused and start to babble. Bad.
So this is what I am going to try. I am going to try and communicate my understanding of the workshop through sensory data (what I actually observed that happened during the workshop) and thinking. In other words I am going to try to express myself in a way that will be clear to my ESTJ trainer. This is not easy for me, but it is good for me - good type development for me to develop my inferior thinking function. It doesn't matter if I don't do it that well, because she is very accepting of me if I'm trying to fulfil the requirements in a way that makes sense to her.
I am also going to try to not start babbling, but just keep quiet when I have reported the simple observations as I wrote them.
Right! This is my task for this week. I will report to you if it went well next week when I get back.
To summarise: my ESTJ colleague/trainer is not out to get me. She just does not understand the way I express myself because it is so different from her way. So to solve the problem I will try to express myself in something closer to her way, so that there is communication.