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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #1261
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    You're right, anger is WAY easier to deal with than sadness, but I still find it distracting. Like, when I'm angry, I can't concentrate or DO ANYTHING until the anger has largely dissipated.

    And I TOTALLY hear you about being afraid of being judged in those other situations too. It's less so the older I get, but still.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  2. #1262
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    2000th post!!!





    ESTJ business casual office party!!!
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  3. #1263
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Cheers
    How to spot a party organized by an ESTJ? Everyone you've invited is there!
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  4. #1264
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    Cheers
    How to spot a party organized by an ESTJ? Everyone you've invited is there!
    YES!!!
    Quote of the day!!
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #1265
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    So I have a question for other ESTJs, and for other people who know ESTJs, because I had a random personal insight and wanted to know if it was type-related:

    Do you ever find yourself wanting to rescue the rescuer? And by that, I mean wanting to befriend and help people who tend to give and give and get nothing in return. I ask because I realized that it's a trend, among many of my friends. As many of you know, most of my closest friends are ENFJs or INFJs, and even my ENTP friend has a tendency to "adopt" people, and surround herself with an awkward group of friends who are too immature to know what it means to be a good friend - i.e. that it's give-and-take, not use-for-entertainment. So, sometimes I feel like I'm the person who the people who always get vented at go to vent You have no idea how many times my INFJ friends have gone up to me and vent about how people keep using them as therapists and the whole time they were wanting to go "SHUT UP I DON'T CARE!"... Or the number of times that my ENFJ friends vent to me that they're feeling conflicted about how all their friends push all their troubles onto them, completely overwhelming and exhausting them, and yet they still continue in a cycle with those friends because they really care for them and want to be there for them... And in either case, I usually end up being the one who brings the xNFJ friend back down to earth, reassuring them just by being straightforward and reasonable.

    So I guess I was wondering, since I'm so often in that role, and since it seems to fit what I know about ESTJs, whether you've seen that in the ESTJs you know? Or, in the case of the ESTJs who read this: Do you relate?
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  6. #1266
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    *thinks* I HAVE had that happen, but it's not something that occurs often. More often, people tell me that I'm easy to talk to about things (incl things like this) because I'm honest and not full of shit.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  7. #1267
    All Natural! All Good!
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    You seem to be able to concentrate well and have a strong work ethic. (I mean this in a good way, if it is not clear ) On the other hand I have the attention span of a gnat and a nonexistent work ethic. Do you have any tips to help me focus better? Thanks.
    Strychnine is all-natural,
    So strychnine is all good.
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  8. #1268
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Yeah, I actually struggle with focusing sometimes, too; for example, I COULD be working right now, but nothing is due sooner than a week from now and therefore I have no motivation. So because of that - i.e. because I'm not perfect at concentrating - I might have some helpful advice:

    The trick is to be motivated; the best way is to enjoy what you're working on, but if you don't (which is probably most of the time, as it is with me), then you have to play tricks on yourself in order to become motivated. Get yourself a proverbial carrot to dangle in front of you; e.g. "When this is done, I will watch TV." Or maybe, if the internet is what's distracting you, go somewhere without wi-fi to do your work. Or give yourself an ultimatum, e.g. 2 hours to complete a particular task. Or, if the sort of work you're talking about is the sort of work you can do in groups, I highly recommend finding a study buddy/work buddy who is very disciplined; I find that I focus better when studying with focused people because they're a good influence on me.

    Those are just off the top of my head - but I hope they can be of use
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  9. #1269
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    So I have a question for other ESTJs, and for other people who know ESTJs, because I had a random personal insight and wanted to know if it was type-related:

    Do you ever find yourself wanting to rescue the rescuer? And by that, I mean wanting to befriend and help people who tend to give and give and get nothing in return. I ask because I realized that it's a trend, among many of my friends. As many of you know, most of my closest friends are ENFJs or INFJs, and even my ENTP friend has a tendency to "adopt" people, and surround herself with an awkward group of friends who are too immature to know what it means to be a good friend - i.e. that it's give-and-take, not use-for-entertainment. So, sometimes I feel like I'm the person who the people who always get vented at go to vent You have no idea how many times my INFJ friends have gone up to me and vent about how people keep using them as therapists and the whole time they were wanting to go "SHUT UP I DON'T CARE!"... Or the number of times that my ENFJ friends vent to me that they're feeling conflicted about how all their friends push all their troubles onto them, completely overwhelming and exhausting them, and yet they still continue in a cycle with those friends because they really care for them and want to be there for them... And in either case, I usually end up being the one who brings the xNFJ friend back down to earth, reassuring them just by being straightforward and reasonable.

    So I guess I was wondering, since I'm so often in that role, and since it seems to fit what I know about ESTJs, whether you've seen that in the ESTJs you know? Or, in the case of the ESTJs who read this: Do you relate?
    This is interesting. Yes, many of the ESTJs I've known seem to attract this type of person. I don't know whether you guys go looking for it, or if we just find you because you seem straightforward, sensible and sure of yourself and are rather drama free. (Plus you make good food). What do you think it is about rescuing rescuers that you find rewarding?

  10. #1270
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    This is interesting. Yes, many of the ESTJs I've known seem to attract this type of person. I don't know whether you guys go looking for it, or if we just find you because you seem straightforward, sensible and sure of yourself and are rather drama free. (Plus you make good food). What do you think it is about rescuing rescuers that you find rewarding?
    Lol at the food thing

    I think it's a little of both - we look for it, and it looks for us. On the one hand... although it seems like everyone is drawn towards those nurturing types, what makes it different with ESTJs is that the nurturing types see something different in them - because the ESTJs are so self-reliant, and so reliable, probably. And I can see what the appeal would be! I mean, how fantastic would it be, as an adopting sort of person, to meet someone who doesn't require as much work and who treats you like a human being instead of a sounding board?

    But on the other hand... from an ESTJ standpoint, I think those nurturing types (not MBTI, but "types" in general) really balance us out. I like having friends who really care, and are there for people - as well as being loyal and principled and everything else on the ESTJ friend checklist. And it helps that we're both nurturing in our own ways, and neither of us want to be in one-sided friendships - so we nurture each other
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

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