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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #1091
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    The little banter in the MBTI comic thread prompts me to ask something about that Ne of yours.

    Does it come in short, strong bouts? Like, normally you're the good and predictable ESTJ and suddenly the stops fly off and out comes a little flood of randomness?
    Pretty much! I'd say my default mood that I'm in over 60% of the time is "Stoic/Friendly", but when I get to "Excited", "Hyperactive" or "Slightly intoxicated", then, as you said, the stops fly off and OUT COMES NE Although I'd say that a slightly less crazy version of Ne will also show up when I'm trying to make friends with someone who isn't talkative. Often I'm the one shaking my head at other people's crazy antics, but when I'm with my ISTJ cousin, it's the other way around, because I'm trying to be charming
    Does it only occur when you're at ease and don't have to keep up your reliable-ESTJ image, or do you get it at inconvenient times too?
    I think it's only when I'm relaxed. Sometimes I'll really, really want my Ne to show up, but it won't because I'm feeling tense or uncertain. I have to be relaxed and comfortable with someone (i.e. at friendly acquaintance level) in order to go Ne on them. With a notable exception being when I'm hyperactive, which is almost always when I'm in a large group and, like mnestic was saying, going into storytelling mode. I wonder what new people think of me when they're introduced to me and I'm like that...
    Moreover, is your Ne specialized in some areas? I can out-Ne my husband in most areas, leaving him totally bewildered, but he's the champion in improvising new lyrics to a known song.
    I'm really, really good at finding new uses for old things. You know, looking at some useless thing and going "What can I do with this...?" and then giving it a whole new use. Or just, for no reason except that it's fun, refurbishing a wooden trunk. (That was my summer project - I lined it with maps, just because I thought it would look cool, and that might have been Ne too.)
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  2. #1092
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnestic View Post
    I think EJCC is a better question-answerer than I am
    I don't think so! I think I ponder the questions a lot more than you do, but that sometimes leads to overthinking. I like that we give different opinions sometimes - shows what's type-related and what's not.
    It's inconvenient, like a case of the giggles, but I think it happens less often the older I get.
    YES. I could get SO hyper when I was younger. Once, a teacher asked if I was drunk. I was not. I was also twelve years old.
    Unrelatedly, I am also a champion at making up new lyrics to known songs.
    I wish I could do that off the top of my head. I'm better at mishearing lyrics in funny ways. Some of my recent favorites...

    From "Monster" by Skillet:
    "Why won't somebody come and save me from this bacon hand?!?"

    From "Carry On" by Crosby, Stills and Nash:
    "To sing the blues, you've got to look for Jews" or "You've got to look confused"
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  3. #1093
    don't fence me in Array sui generis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I don't think so! I think I ponder the questions a lot more than you do, but that sometimes leads to overthinking. I like that we give different opinions sometimes - shows what's type-related and what's not.
    That's just how I roll. (Is this what people call Te, or part of it?) I have a tendency to start thinking aloud and come up with an answer as I'm thinking aloud. In "Do What You Are", they referred to this as coming out with "half-baked" ideas and "baking" them out loud. They used this as a hallmark trait of extroverts, but I don't think all extroverts do this.

    Anyway, I maintain that you're the better question-answerer because you've come up with answers to some questions I didn't know how to touch.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  4. #1094
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    OMG IT'S ALMOST ON PAGE 2!!! :horor:

    I can't let that happen.

    So... any more questions?
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #1095
    All Natural! All Good! Array
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    I don't know where to post this, and you seem lonely, so here goes lol:

    Do you end up in a lot of one-way friendships? (Either direction)

    And do you feel like you know your friends well but they have no idea who you really are? Or maybe the other way around?
    Strychnine is all-natural,
    So strychnine is all good.
    It's Godly and righteous,
    So eat it, you should.
    Who are you to refuse nature's will?


    Don't use the multiquote; it was planted by the devil to deceive us.

    Social Role: Asscrack/Piece of Shit/Public Defecator/Spiteful Urinator


    A different type everyday - so no need to type me anymore. But feel free to enjoy the sound of your own asscrack.

  6. #1096
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by penny89 View Post
    I don't know where to post this, and you seem lonely, so here goes lol:
    :confused: Do you just mean, lonely on this thread? (I hope that's what you mean...)
    Do you end up in a lot of one-way friendships? (Either direction)
    I don't trust myself enough to know for certain if I like someone a lot more than they like me, but I'm definitely in a pretty hardcore one-way friendship with an awkward/unhealthy ESFP. She's cool, but she's told me that I'm her best friend, and I'm really not at the level with her where I'd even be willing to open up. I made a thread about it, actually:
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...fp-friend.html
    And do you feel like you know your friends well but they have no idea who you really are? Or maybe the other way around?
    I don't think there's a whole lot more to me than meets the eye. Besides vulnerability, anyway. And with friends, if I feel like they're hiding a lot from me (in terms of feelings and important opinions), that's kind of a turn-off, because I don't hide that much at all. I value the honesty and openness of all of my friends. I'm not the sort of person who likes to pick the Mystery Kid and try to pry open their psyche to see what's inside. (My ENFJ BFF is like this, though. Big time.)
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  7. #1097
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Why? Do you just mean, lonely on this thread? (I hope that's what you mean...)
    Yes this is what I meant. It wasn't meant to be serious. Sorry!

    I don't trust myself enough to know for certain if I like someone a lot more than they like me, but I'm definitely in a pretty hardcore one-way friendship with an awkward/unhealthy ESFP. She's cool, but she's told me that I'm her best friend, and I'm really not at the level with her where I'd even be willing to open up. (I made a thread about it, actually - I'll edit this post to add a link.)

    I don't think there's a whole lot more to me than meets the eye. Besides vulnerability, anyway. And with friends, if I feel like they're hiding a lot from me (in terms of feelings and important opinions), that's kind of a turn-off, because I don't hide that much at all. I value the honesty and openness of all of my friends. I'm not the sort of person who likes to pick the Mystery Kid and try to pry open their psyche to see what's inside. (My ENFJ BFF is like this, though. Big time.)
    Interesting, thanks for answering. I wonder if the bolded part is an E/I thing to some degree. So I guess you can tell if people are intentionally hiding things.

    I've had friends say to me, "you know me really well" when I make observations about them or correctly guess the root cause of something they are doing. And I'm always confused, haha, because I don't know people that well, I can just guess. Anyways, thanks for your answer. I'll check out your thread.
    Strychnine is all-natural,
    So strychnine is all good.
    It's Godly and righteous,
    So eat it, you should.
    Who are you to refuse nature's will?


    Don't use the multiquote; it was planted by the devil to deceive us.

    Social Role: Asscrack/Piece of Shit/Public Defecator/Spiteful Urinator


    A different type everyday - so no need to type me anymore. But feel free to enjoy the sound of your own asscrack.

  8. #1098
    jump Array sleuthiness's Avatar
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    This may have been asked of you already, but how can I communicate with an upset estj who has pre-determined that s/he is undoubtedly correct in an assertion, despite the fact that s/he hasn't given the accused the light of day to explain relevant facts?

    What if they turn to physical means? My mom and her estj husband have a difficult time understanding the humor in life, so when someone (me, in particular) attempts to acknowledge this in their company, both (99.999% of the time) react with hostility. They abuse their power, social status as homeowners/parents, maybe not exactly forcing household members to comply with their every last whim-- as they've learned to hold their natural directive tendencies back a smig, at least toning the volume down-- but I think they fail to recognize their shortcomings, to treat other humans as... uh... humans, rather than expect a constant, imperfect, Si-drugged perfection.

    What goes thru your mind when a member of your family doesn't tell you "happy birthday" after they say they will?

    What does it mean when your estj threatens to punch you in the face, but intentionally punches the wall just beside your head? Does this mean that he cares for you? Or is he merely concerned with his familial reputation/paying the resulting medical bills?

    It seems that estjs pride themselves on being rational, and mine certainly is most of the time, but reasonable he ain't.

  9. #1099
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by candylandjoe View Post
    This may have been asked of you already, but how can I communicate with an upset estj who has pre-determined that s/he is undoubtedly correct in an assertion, despite the fact that s/he hasn't given the accused the light of day to explain relevant facts?
    I may need more information than this in order to give a good answer, but my initial thought is: Tread very carefully. Take two steps back for every step forward (i.e. try and soften the blows by emphasizing that you aren't taking sides, BUT...)
    My mom and her estj husband have a difficult time understanding the humor in life, so when someone (me, in particular) attempts to acknowledge this in their company, both (99.999% of the time) react with hostility. They abuse their power, social status as homeowners/parents, maybe not exactly forcing household members to comply with their every last whim-- as they've learned to hold their natural directive tendencies back a smig, at least toning the volume down-- but I think they fail to recognize their shortcomings, to treat other humans as... uh... humans, rather than expect a constant, imperfect, Si-drugged perfection.
    I may need examples for this, too...
    What goes thru your mind when a member of your family doesn't tell you "happy birthday" after they say they will?
    It makes me really sad It makes me feel like they don't care about me.
    What does it mean when your estj threatens to punch you in the face, but intentionally punches the wall just beside your head? Does this mean that he cares for you? Or is he merely concerned with his familial reputation/paying the resulting medical bills?
    Now here's where I wonder whether I should even bother answering the question. Are you using this post to vent? Because this ESTJ obviously needs serious therapy, not simple advice from someone like me whose only psych experiences are two years at TypeC and one semester of Intro to Psych in college. I get the feeling that there's a lot of subtext in your post, but I'm not very good at reading subtext! Please be blunt with me - bluntness is the only language I'm totally fluent in
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  10. #1100
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    Quote Originally Posted by penny89 View Post
    Interesting, thanks for answering. I wonder if the bolded part is an E/I thing to some degree. So I guess you can tell if people are intentionally hiding things.
    I dunno... There's a certain kind of silence that I always read as "There's something that I really want to say, but I can't." And maybe I'm right when I think this - and if I am, it might have something to do with my being an enneagram 1 ("my repression sense is tingling!!!") - but I could easily not be.
    I've had friends say to me, "you know me really well" when I make observations about them or correctly guess the root cause of something they are doing. And I'm always confused, haha, because I don't know people that well, I can just guess. Anyways, thanks for your answer. I'll check out your thread.
    Well, "knowing someone well" could just mean that you've been around them long enough to know what they like, or think is funny, which is different from knowing them entirely, though one could argue that what people like is a part of who they are.

    And no problem! You were right about being "lonely" - it would be sad if no one asked me questions here anymore... I like feeling useful, you know?
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

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