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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #1081
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I, quite frankly, could not empathize even remotely with people who disagreed with me. But I grew into my own as time went on, stopped being interested in anime and became interested in current events and history, and became a nice, smart kid (hopefully?) instead of a moody, geeky bitch.
    I identify with what you said here, but high school was a culture shock for a different reason for me. I went to a small, private high school after attending a small, private K-8 school, so there wasn't huge difference in that department. It was a culture shock b/c I was placed into honors classes, so I actually had to *work* for my grades for the first time in my life. I was a joiner as well-- student council, campus ministry, drama club, Latin club, science club, theatre!

    Could you be a little more specific? :confused: Kind of a broad question...
    But I'm not a partier.
    I was trying to keep that question as open-ended as possible to see how you'd interpret it. I think I meant something similar to "what were you like in high school?", but you said you were basically the same. I was most curious as to whether you were a partier, because I definitely wasn't/am not. I don't dislike alcohol, but I rarely drink (every couple of months or so) and it's rarer that I really get *drunk* (a couple of times a year). I don't understand the appeal of drinking til you puke every weekend. I like being in control of myself too much.

    My social events are usually of the sort where you can hear yourself (and other people) talk, without having to yell. I just chatting, you know? I don't want to give it up for the sake of alcohol...
    THIS IS HUGE FOR ME. I would rather stay up all night having a great conversation than spend the evening at a bar geting smashed. In fact, I dont like bars, because I hate small talk and because I hate being around drunk people.
    One of my former coworkers has made me believe that I'm weird (in a bad way) because of this. He said that most people talk about their weekends in terms of where they went and what they did, whereas I talk about who I saw and the conversations I had. I love my chatty tendencies and my love of deep conversations, but that conversation with him left me feeling like I'm doing it wrong.

    Surveys are the bestest things ever.
    Right? I was thinking about this because I just started doing a 30-day meme on livejournal, and I was all like ZOMG A WHOLE MONTH OF SURVEY!

    But some of them I just don't get - e.g. "pedobear" and "advice dog".
    I like Advice Dog and his ilk, but I don't get pedobear, really.

    If it's a funny story that I'm telling, and if most people are responding the right way, then I absolutely LOVE being the center of attention.
    That, my friend, is SO MUCH more fun than alcohol!


    Also, I get the feeling that I'm a good enough actor that, if I wrote out an internal script for myself (since I can't improvise worth crap), I could tell very convincing lies about very serious things. But I would feel so guilty about it afterwards, if I did. So I haven't, I don't, and I probably won't.
    Interesting! This is a way in which we are different. I am not a good actor, like, at all. I was in a couple of plays in high school, but I sucked at it and started doing stagecraft and being a techie instead. I just find it hard to be anything other than myself!

    History, adventure, sci-fi, humor, true crime, biographies... As long as the book isn't boring, obtuse, or pretentious, I'm okay with it, for the most part.
    I was just curious. I have SO little patience for nonfiction and sci-fi, but we are still similar. Some of my favorites are biographies told in a funny way. Have you read "Kick Me"? That kind of thing.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  2. #1082
    inside the lines EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnestic View Post
    It was a culture shock b/c I was placed into honors classes, so I actually had to *work* for my grades for the first time in my life.
    Dude, you have no idea how much I relate to that. That happened to me after taking AP classes - I was like "Wait... I can't get straight A's without breaking a sweat anymore?? :confused: WTF?" And I even relate now, because the college I'm transferring to is much, much more prestigious and competitive than the one I was just at, so I had a moment a couple of days ago (i.e. a week before my departure date) when I just stopped in my tracks and thought "OH SH*T, WHAT IF IT'S HARD???!? :horor: "

    I think I meant something similar to "what were you like in high school?", but you said you were basically the same.
    Yeah, kind of silly of me to not get that question when it was almost identical to the two before it. I'm just better at describing how I was, than how I am.
    I don't understand the appeal of drinking til you puke every weekend. I like being in control of myself too much.
    ...
    THIS IS HUGE FOR ME. I would rather stay up all night having a great conversation than spend the evening at a bar geting smashed. In fact, I dont like bars, because I hate small talk and because I hate being around drunk people.
    I entirely agree. A drink or so = sure. Totally piss drunk = no way. And I don't really get the appeal of drunk people. It kind of makes me sad to laugh at them... partially because of the degree of DO NOT WANT I feel for the idea of being in their position. (Lol, I'm eloquent today!)
    One of my former coworkers has made me believe that I'm weird (in a bad way) because of this. He said that most people talk about their weekends in terms of where they went and what they did, whereas I talk about who I saw and the conversations I had. I love my chatty tendencies and my love of deep conversations, but that conversation with him left me feeling like I'm doing it wrong.
    I relate to this! No one has given me that vibe about it, though. But seriously - I'd rather talk about something amazing and funny and awesome that was just a passing moment in my weekend, than summarize the whole weekend in a thorough (but srsly boring) way. That's part of the reason why I'm really bad at writing in my diary with the other reason being that, when it's the end of a long and intense day, I'd rather go to sleep and put it out of my mind, than relive it by writing it all out again.
    I like Advice Dog and his ilk, but I don't get pedobear, really.
    Yeah. The only Advice Dog variant that I like is Courage Wolf mostly because it's just so over-the-top and ridiculous. How can you not be entertained (at the very least) by this advice:


    Interesting! This is a way in which we are different. I am not a good actor, like, at all. I was in a couple of plays in high school, but I sucked at it and started doing stagecraft and being a techie instead. I just find it hard to be anything other than myself!
    That is interesting. Especially since the other ESTJ I know is a total drama geek, and doesn't have the issue with acting that I do. Probably because he doesn't do method acting...
    I was just curious. I have SO little patience for nonfiction and sci-fi, but we are still similar. Some of my favorites are biographies told in a funny way. Have you read "Kick Me"? That kind of thing.
    I love that sort of thing! It sounds really funny, but I haven't read it - it'll go on my list. But yeah, interesting memoirs are great. One of my favorites is "Iron and Silk" by Mark Salzman:
    Amazon.com: Iron and Silk (9780394755113): Mark Salzman: Books
    It's about an American teaching English in China, and (re)learning Kung Fu from an actual master. It's great stuff!
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  3. #1083
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Dude, you have no idea how much I relate to that. That happened to me after taking AP classes - I was like "Wait... I can't get straight A's without breaking a sweat anymore?? :confused: WTF?" And I even relate now, because the college I'm transferring to is much, much more prestigious and competitive than the one I was just at, so I had a moment a couple of days ago (i.e. a week before my departure date) when I just stopped in my tracks and thought "OH SH*T, WHAT IF IT'S HARD???!? :horor: "
    They wouldn't have let you in if they didn't think you could do well there.

    Yeah, kind of silly of me to not get that question when it was almost identical to the two before it. I'm just better at describing how I was, than how I am.
    I agree! There was a question on some post here about how did people see you in high school, and how do they see you now, and it was easy to imagine how people see me in high school, and how I actually *was*, than how I am now.


    And I don't really get the appeal of drunk people. It kind of makes me sad to laugh at them... partially because of the degree of DO NOT WANT I feel for the idea of being in their position. (Lol, I'm eloquent today!)
    I agree, completely and totally. I have no desire to babysit them, and I don't get the appeal of falling all over yourself! I don't think it's fun enough to do more than a couple of times a year.


    That's part of the reason why I'm really bad at writing in my diary with the other reason being that, when it's the end of a long and intense day, I'd rather go to sleep and put it out of my mind, than relive it by writing it all out again.
    Interesting! We are different here. I used to keep a journal *religiously*, every night from 8th grade until a couple of years ago. I find that it helps me to write about the day, to process it, in order to make more sense of the day, when I can't talk to other people about it, or when I'm not ready to. I would like to get back in to the habit of doing so, but my attempts have failed miserably.


    EDIT to add:

    The wolf was funny!
    But how can you not like Hipster Kitty!




    EDIT again-
    That book sounds awesome! I'm adding it to my wishlist on BookMooch!
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  4. #1084
    Saponi Redbone's Avatar
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    Why in the world would an ESTJ cheat?
    Just seems so anti-ESTJ...
    Still maintaining familial/financial and social duties but has checked out emotionally...could that do it?

  5. #1085
    inside the lines EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    Why in the world would an ESTJ cheat?
    Just seems so anti-ESTJ...
    Still maintaining familial/financial and social duties but has checked out emotionally...could that do it?
    Uh-oh... I hope that isn't related to your ESTJ...

    I think it would be a certain type of cheating... you know, the really hedonistic type. But not the type that comes from not being in love with your spouse (because I think that, if an ESTJ discovered that they weren't in love with their spouse, they'd deal with that problem directly instead of indirectly). I don't think ESTJs are as likely to associate feelings with sex, so it would be kind of a thought process like "I want passionate sex. I'm not getting it from my spouse. So I'll find someone else to give it to me. What's the harm?" Which, you know, is totally selfish and inconsiderate and ignorant. But I can still relate a little to the thought process. If I were selfish and hedonistic, I would think like that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  6. #1086
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    Why in the world would an ESTJ cheat?
    Just seems so anti-ESTJ...
    Still maintaining familial/financial and social duties but has checked out emotionally...could that do it?


    I can't relate to cheating. I'm too honest and the guilt would eat me up. This is why I'm polyamorous; I'm up-front with everyone about my sluttiness.

    I think that if I, as an ESTJ, were to cheat, it would be a situation where I was swept up in the moment and had turned my brain off and was, instead, completely ruled by hormones.

    Yeah, seems totally out of character.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  7. #1087
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Cheat? Why would an ESTJ do that? To deviate from the Holy Routine?? Naaah.

    Either our ESTJ is a regular cheater, or he/she isn't one.
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  8. #1088
    inside the lines EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnestic View Post
    I think that if I, as an ESTJ, were to cheat, it would be a situation where I was swept up in the moment and had turned my brain off and was, instead, completely ruled by hormones.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    Either our ESTJ is a regular cheater, or he/she isn't one.
    Yes. +1 to you both!
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  9. #1089
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    The little banter in the MBTI comic thread prompts me to ask something about that Ne of yours.

    Does it come in short, strong bouts? Like, normally you're the good and predictable ESTJ and suddenly the stops fly off and out comes a little flood of randomness?
    Does it only occur when you're at ease and don't have to keep up your reliable-ESTJ image, or do you get it at inconvenient times too?
    Moreover, is your Ne specialized in some areas? I can out-Ne my husband in most areas, leaving him totally bewildered, but he's the champion in improvising new lyrics to a known song.
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  10. #1090
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    I think EJCC is a better question-answerer than I am, but I'll just share some thoughts. Also, I'm not versed in what the functions do (all of the Ne Ni Fe Fi Fo Fum stuff sounds too complicated for me ) but I know the mode you guys were talking about

    There are times that I get all ZOMG STORYTELLER MODE like in that thread when I'd really much rather be all Srs ESTJ Mode. It's inconvenient, like a case of the giggles, but I think it happens less often the older I get.

    I would say that I'm more likely to get into that mode when it's something I have some sort of expertise about or passion for, or a personal story of mine.

    Unrelatedly, I am also a champion at making up new lyrics to known songs.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

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