So it's all types now, huh?
Oookaaaay, if you insist!
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As a child, I was extremely quiet so that people would exclaim “She talks!†when I’d finally say something around them. When very little, I was very cuddly with a select few people (ie my mom and grandmother). Otherwise, I was wary of strangers and immediately disliked most people. I took a looooong time to warm up.
In school, I was very well-behaved, but not a people pleaser or particularly concerned about rule-breaking. I kind of had my own moral code that I felt was higher anyway. Getting in trouble or criticized angered me because I felt my good was going unrecognized and/or underrated.
At home, I was called temperamental and ornery and even cold once I ceased to be a cuddly little kid. I mostly got in trouble for talking back and ignoring chores. I had a smart mouth on me and often had complicated arguments for everything. I also felt invalidated a lot, feeling ganged up on by my mom and sister who had such a markedly different perspectives and communication style from me (they are both SFs). Stuff that was important to me was often belittled because I couldn’t communicate it in concrete terms, so I kept all of my feelings to myself. I was actually highly sensitive, but it usually came out in an angry, defensive way. I got accused of not caring a lot, even though I cared deeply but couldn’t articulate it. I am certain I was drawn to visual art from the moment I could hold a pencil because of this.
So I got criticized for not being an SF (ie warm and people-focused), and meanwhile my, say, academic achievements were sort of shrugged off. I was brimming with ideas, but my mom was only interested in the drama gossip my sister brought home. Of course, my sister claims I was favored because I was more responsible and did better in school, but I’d say I was
respected more (my parents were proud of me) and she was
liked more (they enjoyed her personality more).
I was quite a loner and spent most of my free time drawing, reading and writing. I created cartoon strips, greeting cards, short stories, poems, lyrics, etc. I generally liked to create characters and imaginary worlds. I read voraciously and often stuff far above my age. I was also very spiritual from a young age. I was raised religious, so this probably encouraged it, but I thought about stuff like “the nature of God†since I was in kindergarten. Mentally, I’d spend a lot of time working out what I felt and thought about everything, especially spiritual and moral concepts.
I was very girly as far as liking Barbie dolls and dress-up, but for me it was about character creation and imaginary worlds. There were times I’d have a few very close friendships, or at least one, and it would be almost mutually obsessive. As an adult, when I have run into these people, they refer to these imaginary characters and worlds as if they were real. I was actually often the dominant personality among friends.
I could also be very wacky, as I loved absurdities. My favorite cartoons were Looney Toons, Animaniacs & Tiny Toons, and my major inspiration was Calvin & Hobbes. Anytime my sister came across something weird or whimsical, she’d refer me to it saying, “I think you’d like thisâ€. My sister also used to say I was like Daria, because I was sardonic & brainy & appeared detached as a teen, although I was also into fashion and more internally emotional, so I wasn’t just like her.
Sports terrified me, as I felt like I was in a warzone and about to be humiliated. I was very cerebral and disconnected from my body. I was definitely a know-it-all. I would find myself a dissenter a lot - always having different tastes or opinions than other girls my age.
I did very well academically and was given special treatment because of it. By my pre-teens, I was absent as much as half the time, and I’d just do make up work at home and show up for tests. My teachers kind of looked the other way because they considered me bright & I did quality work. I was actually encouraged most to pursue math and/or science because I did well in them (better than my male peers too), but I was more interested in the humanities. I disliked history and PE the most. When I was at home “sickâ€, I mostly would spend all day in emotionally heavy fantasy, listening to music and reading. I read everything in the house, including encyclopedias (this was pre-internet world).
I always had some scorn for peers who I mostly considered to be stupid and to have bad taste, with exceptions of course. I think that was a defense for feeling alienated and unappreciated by them. Kids who did like me usually found my imagination entertaining. I would also draw pretty well when younger, and by my teens I was considered stylish but in a personal way, and this got me positive attention.
If I was a cliche (which I pretty much was), then I was basically the arty smart girl. I was quiet and a tad strange, but I didn’t get teased. I felt outcast, but as an adult I see it was mostly self-imposed.