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  1. #1
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Default What are an ISFJs views on sex?

    What have you read or maybe based on your own personal experiences with them, do you believe tend to be the ISFJ's perspective on sex? I would imagine they are shy and conservative in how they believe sex should be because of the introverted judging but then there's that SF that's really throwing me off. Being an SF makes me think they would believe that sex should be a time to exchange emotions.
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  2. #2
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    The beginning of this thread might be helpful (the middle and end got a little muddled) : http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...9-sjs-sex.html
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I've seen the following:

    - Sex used as a way to reaffirm commitment, roles, religious/family values, and/or the past in the relationship.
    - With younger ISFJs, sex used as a way to flaunt social conventions (e.g., the "bad girl" complex).
    - Structured sex (i.e., having to schedule it in, not liking unpredictability if it messes up other plans).

    I think that "sex as a time to exchange emotions" or sensory experiences is more likely to occur for SFP, while SFJ is more liable to use it as a time to exchange/reinforce commitment and reinforce values.

    But I'd be more interested in hearing ISFJs talk about their own experiences.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #4
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    From what I've read they care most about romance and satisfaction of the partner.

  5. #5
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Where have you people read these things!?

    If you can, point me to the section on ESTJs.



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    Jennifer, I think you gave a very good answer, I think you are spot on!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Oh oh .. lol .. My E wants to join in this conversation ..

    I love sex, i love making sweet passionate love. Up for almost anything. Few exceptions . If i don't like it then i won't do it again.

    Now this is where i get a bit funny about things.

    Say we have just met and are talking online .. DO NOT mention sex. I have instantly gone off you. Not interested.

    The conversation of sex or even having it .. Give it a few weeks 2-3 preferably and then by that time, i'll know if it is meant to be.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  8. #8
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    To my ISFJ (without getting graphic at all!), sex is special (his words). Very frequent at first, now only frequent when he does not have a lot of work on his plate. Very interested in finding out what I liked/my needs at first, now not as interested so much in changing things or learning anything more about that (takes comments on what I like now as a bit of embarrassing rejection, but in the beginning wanted to know all about what I liked; in other words, once he learned what I liked and does it, sees any more commentary as criticism -- it's the only touchy area we deal with as a couple). Actually pretty spontaneous as far as when we have it. Likes me to let him initiate mostly but sometimes likes me to take charge. But, if I'm too aggressive with initiating (too often when he's tired, etc.) this frustrates him.

    All in all, if I respect his boundaries, it's really great.

    Also, my ISFJ told me that women who threw themselves at him in the past sexually didn't garner any respect from him. He likes to be the initial aggressor.

    In Socionics terms, here is how the two subtypes of ISFJs handle sex:

    Sensory subtype (The Traditionalist):
    (Sexual behaviour) Emotional yet restrained in expressing feelings. Capable of taking initiative if their partner finds it difficult, but only if partner will confidently reciprocate. Have many concealed complexes, which they find difficult to free themselves from; because of these they may seem cold in regards to their erotic feelings. Require both romantic and practical proofs of love, and an emotionally confident partner. Need a flexible, dynamic person, capable of removing suspicion and influencing the favorable outcome of events.

    Ethical Subtype (The Moralist):
    (Sexual behaviour) Disposed to constancy, honesty and stability. In relations they are tactful and attempt to fulfill the desires of their partner. Verbally express their views and concerns. Attentive to detail, are careful and distrustful. Need a partner thats not overly demanding; partner should be frugal and aid in the creation of comfort, order and welfare. Partner should be responsive to this type's pleasures but more so to their attachments; otherwise they may possibly break relations, ignoring any agreements.

  9. #9
    Member illume's Avatar
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    I am curious as to whether the notoriously modest ISFJ's themselves will choose to stay mum on the subject....

  10. #10
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Wow illume, I have read this thread twice and that's about as far as I want to regarding this subject..
    Johari / Nohari

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