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  1. #1
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Default A question about other ISFJ's

    I will be brutally honest here.

    I am/have become very self centered, how does it affect me, how does it pertain to me, how do I feel about it, why should I get involved? It could be Aries child talking here too. I don't know but, I have always cared for others and went out of my way to please and care for others, now I wish to be cared for.

    I found the following at ISFJ - The Nurturer :

    Midlife

    At midlife ISFJs might want to develop the thinking function more fully. For example, a study of human behavior might be one avenue that ISFJs can find fascinating at this time. They also might practice being in the limelight occasionally, more aggressively claiming recognition for the many contributions they have been making so quietly for so long. They could even practice the art of accepting service from others, allowing themselves to be pampered a bit, and cutting down on the services they provide to others, no matter who those others may be.

    I guess mid 30's could definitely be considered mid-life.

    Crisis!!!

    Back to being my new selfish self, or is this normal and why there doesn't seem to be many sensing types on the forum - ISFJ's in particular - because could it be that we are selfish with ourselves and our time?

    So if I could get other ISFJ's opinion on this, is this just a phase?
    Johari / Nohari

    Enneagram 1w2/Lifepath 1/first zodiac sign Aries/first Chinese zodiac sign RAT/first born in my siblings of 3. Did I forget to mention first?

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  2. #2
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy View Post
    I will be brutally honest here.

    I am/have become very self centered, how does it affect me, how does it pertain to me, how do I feel about it, why should I get involved? It could be Aries child talking here too. I don't know but, I have always cared for others and went out of my way to please and care for others, now I wish to be cared for.

    I found the following at ISFJ - The Nurturer :

    Midlife

    At midlife ISFJs might want to develop the thinking function more fully. For example, a study of human behavior might be one avenue that ISFJs can find fascinating at this time. They also might practice being in the limelight occasionally, more aggressively claiming recognition for the many contributions they have been making so quietly for so long. They could even practice the art of accepting service from others, allowing themselves to be pampered a bit, and cutting down on the services they provide to others, no matter who those others may be.

    I guess mid 30's could definitely be considered mid-life.

    Crisis!!!

    Back to being my new selfish self, or is this normal and why there doesn't seem to be many sensing types on the forum - ISFJ's in particular - because could it be that we are selfish with ourselves and our time?

    So if I could get other ISFJ's opinion on this, is this just a phase?
    Everything in bold i can relate to. Being an incredibly unselfish person, putting everyone else first and i don't even come last, i just am not on the list at all .. I would love to stand in a street and scream from the top of my lungs WHAT ABOUT ME YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARDS!!!! .. i don't even know who i would be aiming the question at, maybe myself.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I'm more interested in hearing why you consider yourself selfish, Eiddy. (I think that's the big question here.)

    What are you doing that you think is wrong?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #4
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Exactly!!! Maybe I am ESFJ...

    I had that (in bold) feeling towards a student today.. I really would like to retire to some quiet retirement resort, not retirement home. That might not be a bad idea either.

    I will stand in the street beside you screaming the same thing WHAT ABOUT ME YOU INSENSITIVE CRAPPY BASTARDS!!!!

    Yes, bring your vegetables to throw at us.. I need a salad. lol
    Johari / Nohari

    Enneagram 1w2/Lifepath 1/first zodiac sign Aries/first Chinese zodiac sign RAT/first born in my siblings of 3. Did I forget to mention first?

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  5. #5
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I'm more interested in hearing why you consider yourself selfish, Eiddy. (I think that's the big question here.)

    What are you doing that you think is wrong?
    I am selfish in that I want to turn into a hermit, I don't want to work like a donkey anymore. I am tired of spending money on living expenses and not on myself.

    I want to become invisible so that no one can want or expect anything of me. I am tired of trying to make real face to face friends that only take and can't even pick up the phone to call me or come to see how I am doing. "Do I have a sign that reads take my time, my love, and attention, all you have to do is wait for me to show up." "Oh, and I don't ask for anything in return." Do I have to ask????

    BLAH! what a crappy feeling..
    Johari / Nohari

    Enneagram 1w2/Lifepath 1/first zodiac sign Aries/first Chinese zodiac sign RAT/first born in my siblings of 3. Did I forget to mention first?

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  6. #6
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Elddy, could it be that the student/people in your life caused much frustration, unintentionally, when things get misunderstood, miscommunicated?

  7. #7
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I'm more interested in hearing why you consider yourself selfish, Eiddy. (I think that's the big question here.)

    What are you doing that you think is wrong?
    Got to admit that was the first thing that popped into my head too, why is anything about wanting a little back, selfish?

    My best friend is an ISFJ, and she is very serving of others, I am enjoying watching her go through this mid life change point because she is becoming tougher at demanding just a little of what she gives out everyday, to be returned to her.

    I say too right for her, she more than deserves it.

    It's not selfishness, it's finally caring for the self, something that we all have to do, and indeed need to do.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  8. #8
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    My problem is that I am too darned nice. No one notices the nice one, unless I stop doing what everyone (students/boss/family, friends if there are any) takes for granted.

    Most of the students love me, but a few of them think "Oh, she is a funny, helpful and nice teacher. We don't really have to behave in her class." Like if it means they don't have to show respect.

    Thanks for letting me vent a bit..

    I know this will pass..
    Johari / Nohari

    Enneagram 1w2/Lifepath 1/first zodiac sign Aries/first Chinese zodiac sign RAT/first born in my siblings of 3. Did I forget to mention first?

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  9. #9
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Elddy, I understand. Maybe those people had a bad day? They weren't on their best behavior?

    I think people who come to disappoint, do appreciate/love what you do for them.. and perhaps those people have a hard time communicating it when their situation makes it tough for them? Like the students.. There is a misunderstanding on both sides? Some of them may have issues plaging them- home life, relationships.. all these situations that make it tough for them to stay focused? In a way, that is selfish too, and I'm sure they don't mean it.. I can be a total jerk like that, when I don't mean to, when I'm in a head space for things..

    That is the one gift you have- to be able to stay focused and care for others.. That is a strength I admire about ISFJs. I would focus on that, and continue on being you, bc that is what makes you most happy?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    I relate to wanting to be invisible .. I find it sometimes really hard to function (maybe that's the SFJ and to much thinking), its like i am juggling so many balls and people can see that i am, but no one is offering to help. Granted it is my fault, i want to help people and i offer but sometimes it would be nice if someone helped me if just for a moment.

    It was my step dad's sisters funeral today. I wanted to go to support my step dad (he is my dad) but i didn't as i don't want to be around people who are emotionally all over the place. So i didn't go. How stupid. Maybe that's just me trying to hold everything together and act like nothing is wrong, when really i am a tad emotional. (there isn't a smiley where the head explodes)

    I think it is easier to build friendships online on sites like these as i know no one will want something physical from me. I choose when i can turn off the laptop so there is no pressure. I also find maybe because i am an ESFJ that people zap my energy (energy vampires) 'Here's Sarah, she'll help out'.

    Wow, i am on a bit of a rant now. lol ..

    Reading that over, i found it insightful.

    Eiddy .. Have you always wanted to be a teacher????
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

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