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  1. #1
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    Question Q for SJs: do you put up a facade?

    Not being fake, but putting the best appearance forward.

    We all do this to some extent, but I wonder if SJs take this to an extreme.

    I see it myself.

  2. #2
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    Default Q for SJs: do you put up a facade?

    <<Not being fake, but putting the best appearance forward.

    <<We all do this to some extent, but I wonder if SJs take this to an extreme.

    <<I see it myself.

    Every SJ is different. Some take it to an extreme and some don't. And, wouldn't it also depend on the situation i.e. appearing remorseful at a funeral for a distant relative; appearing happy at a wedding of an annoying acquaintance; appearing happy for a brother who is getting married for the third time. The facade all depends on the SJ, the situation, and the relationship between the SJ and the situation.

    Any personality type is capable of putting up a facade. It's a question of who, what, where, when and why. The right combination will bring out the facade in any of us.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by xtremegeek View Post
    Every SJ is different. Some take it to an extreme and some don't. And, wouldn't it also depend on the situation i.e. appearing remorseful at a funeral for a distant relative; appearing happy at a wedding of an annoying acquaintance; appearing happy for a brother who is getting married for the third time. The facade all depends on the SJ, the situation, and the relationship between the SJ and the situation.

    Any personality type is capable of putting up a facade. It's a question of who, what, where, when and why. The right combination will bring out the facade in any of us.
    Not so much doing the socially appropriate thing, everyone does this to some extent. Even the NTs.

    More a constant awareness of how one wants to be perceived. The "proper" way.

  4. #4
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    Default Q for SJs: do you put up a facade?

    <<Not so much doing the socially appropriate thing, everyone does this to some extent. Even the NTs.

    <<More a constant awareness of how one wants to be perceived. The "proper" way.

    Ahh, as in...SJs want the world to perceive them as law-abiding do-gooders; NTs want the world to perceive them as unique geniuses; SPs want to be perceived by the world as the cool James Bond? When, in fact, we are all much more ordinary. We create the extrodinary persona in our minds...

  5. #5
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    We should get Haight involved to discuss a book he recommended to me a few months ago: "Public Appearances, Private Realities: The Psychology of Self-Monitoring" by Mark Snyder.

    Self-monitoring isn't just related to type, although SJs might seem to fall into the pattern more easily. Nor is it always a bad thing, it's a useful social construct.

    Then again, Haight never reads threads. :steam:
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #6
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    To some extent, putting a facade is a natural part of social skills that most SJ's seem to have but not NT's. It helps getting along with different people.

  7. #7
    No me digas, che! Recoleta's Avatar
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    For me, it really depends on the situation. In my life when I am dealing with friends and family (people I genuinely trust, love, and care about) I hate the idea of facades. These people see me for who I am. I don't censor my thoughts, the things I say, or change who I am around them. If my house is messy, I may straiten up a little bit, but I'm not gonna ban them from my home until everything is spotless. They see me without makeup and wearing my "bum around the house clothes" all the time. I want people to know me for who I am from the get-go...it's so much easier in the long run than trying to maintain false appearances.

    I will say though, when I am at work I am much more aware of how I come across. I work in an upscale restaurant as a server, so naturally, serving is all about first impressions and how you carry yourself. Good impression = better pay. I make sure that my appearance is neat, that I put on a smile, and that I am polite and helpful even when I don't want to. Sometimes I really enjoy my job (as in when I get to have genuine conversations with my tables...I enjoy seeing my tables be happy), although there are those customers who are rude, monopolize my time with incessant and petty requests, and treat me like an uneducated slave. Don't get me wrong, I am there to serve, but at the point where I am refilling someones glass for about the 4th+ time I really feel like saying, "Hey buddy, I have other tables to take care of besides yours...is it really that hard to hydrate yourself throughout the day or were you just holding off until you can get someone else to do it for you?" Yeah, the restaurant business is one big facade.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by xtremegeek View Post
    Ahh, as in...SJs want the world to perceive them as law-abiding do-gooders; NTs want the world to perceive them as unique geniuses; SPs want to be perceived by the world as the cool James Bond? When, in fact, we are all much more ordinary. We create the extrodinary persona in our minds...
    Excellent point.

  9. #9
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    Yeah sometimes, I thought everyone did it? when you meet new people. The first impression always counts.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Crabapple's Avatar
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    When I'm aware of the facade, and it doesn't repulse me too much, I put it on. Saves the trouble and annoyance of being treated like a freak. Unfortunately, I find a great deal of what people do to be repulsive.
    Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
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