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  1. #11
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Are you sure he isn't an ESTJ? If it were me and I didn't like you, I would just shutup and do the work while keeping my opinion to myself. Not sure what to do in this scenario though. If he is an ISTJ, don't be afraid to remind him that you outrank him and that he is out of line. [Politely if posssible.]
    I have to agree with this as well.
    After all,
    you're my wonderwall...

    {listen: }

  2. #12
    Member stormyapril's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amira View Post
    Hmm, interesting. At work I have always tried to be very diplomatic and, of before reminding him about the hierarchy perhaps you could find a few opportunities to ask his advice on something? I am NOT talking manipulation here. There is a difference - you could think hard and figure out a few things to purposely ask his advice about in meetings in front of other people and just make sure to have a friendly look on your face as you listen to his reply. That might be enough to diffuse his stress/anxiety/whatever greatly.

    Otherwise, yeah, you could just mention in private at some point that you do need his cooperation as you are above him in the ranks and need him to be working with you so that the whole project can run better. Don't pound it in, I at least hate it when people try to make sure I know they are mad at me. Just say it briefly, say thanks, and walk away.
    I will try all of these approaches. In this order...

    I have a very bad habit of making sure people I find "challenging" really get what I am saying and your last suggestion hit home. I will try to maintain a quieter and gentler approach.

  3. #13
    Member stormyapril's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Truly, I love ISTJs. For me, no one makes a better employee (theoretically... there are many variables though). I've noticed that when an ISTJ doesn't know something, they bristle up - and somehow get defensive.
    totally agree

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I once had a job where I oversaw a large staff and this ISTJ woman was the only one who "didn't like me". She would do only exactly what I requested and I knew she was badmouthing me. I suspected that she was withholding important information from me, as well - which is a cardinal sin in my book. So I killed her with kindness. I created a project and delegated it to her. She had complete autonomy over it. She complained about it at first to the coworkers, but I knew that she was secretly pleased that I singled her out for additional responsibility (yikes, right? hahaha...)
    beautiful, and it completely appropriate since I generally like this person

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    It required nothing of me except to stay late at work for 2-3 hours each week and recommend a few books to read. It made all the difference in her morale. Sharing knowledge is what we do best as ENTPs - just find a way to engage and connect with this person so he doesn't feel unappreciated and unwanted.
    I do love it when I can walk away from work with people feeling better about themselves. On a mystic level, I feel that this is the higher calling of me being an ENTP, it usually is not hard for us to manage large systems and make something real happen, and I want everyone to understand their role in doing these things as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    A team is strong when all of its members are strong. Share what you know.

    If this person is an ESTJ, just cut your losses before he poisons your coffee. (just kidding, guys!!! )
    I need to figure out if he is indeed a quiet ESTJ (do they exist in this form?)

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Another thing about ISTJs that I've noticed, if you don't assert every day that you are on top of your shit, they will think you are a slacker and unworthy of respect. As an ENTP, be aware of the image you project to them. We work very hard but make it look effortless - don't rub it in their faces.
    Isn't that half the fun? It takes 1/5 of the time for us usually. I work hard to maintain my slacker apperance! (kidding, but well said)

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