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  1. #21
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    I read your post to my ISFJ, who said, "Just say you're sorry. An apology always seems to work."

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Er. I doubt even he knows all the details of his life. And knows the details doesn't mean you know all the issues that arise from them, either.

    Besides, your boyfriend has probably been with you for quite a while. This guy just met KarenParker, ergo, abandonment issues.
    But I'm telling you, if he's really into her, it's normal for an ISFJ to want to see her every day, he needn't have abandonment issues to want this. Of course, he could...

    AND, who cares if we've been together over a year (as we have)? I know what it was like him in the early stages as well...

    AND, I do know he has no abandonment issues.

  3. #23
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maliafee View Post
    I read your post to my ISFJ, who said, "Just say you're sorry. An apology always seems to work."
    Are you talking to me?
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  4. #24
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    lol that's funny because I was going to suggest that you apologize. ISFJ's are usually forgiving but they do seem to need a heart felt explanation as to why you've hurt then in the first place.

    Is he the sort of person that makes you feel like you're walking on eggshells? Sensitive? One ISFJ I know is extremely sensitive. I pleaded my case, tried to reason, connect with them, you name it and it was a no go.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  5. #25
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    lol that's funny because I was going to suggest that you apologize. ISFJ's are usually forgiving but they do seem to need a heart felt explanation as to why you've hurt then in the first place.

    Is he the sort of person that makes you feel like you're walking on eggshells? Sensitive? One ISFJ I know is extremely sensitive. I pleaded my case, tried to reason, connect with them, you name it and it was a no go.
    Oh yes definitely. He is very sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easily and is overly accommodating and doesn't want anyone's feelings to get hurt and the problem is that I'm THE EXACT SAME WAY. So here lies our dilemma. But actually it worked out and we are both ok and back to harmony and closeness again. So I am relieved. We just have to make sure the other one feels cared for. It's kind of obnoxious because with thinkers I never have to be careful. It's kind of nice. But I love feelers. I just love exchanging emotions with them.
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  6. #26
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Uhm, couldn't you just tell him that you were busy/had other stuff to do/wanted to stay at home instead of talking about feeling/relationships? I think it's easier to avoid misunderstandings this way..
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  7. #27
    Rats off to ya! Mort Belfry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarenParker View Post
    I accidentally hurt an ISFJ's feelings... now what do I do?!
    You could try not caring.
    Why do we always come here?

    I guess we'll never know.

    It's like a kind of torture,
    To have to watch this show.

  8. #28
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Oh no. Now the thinkers are here. Party's over. ;-)
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  9. #29
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarenParker View Post
    Oh no. Now the thinkers are here. Party's over. ;-)
    Heeeey. Don't lump me in with them. I'm capable of compassion.

    This thread is really helpful, by the way. I think I may have upset my ISFJ, and we're supposed to be meeting up tomorrow. *facepalm*
    Um, yeah.

  10. #30
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Give him some structure in your requests. (like, "We can talk every other day in the evening for <how long>" or something similar). The more you can specify the rules for him, the better, and he'll feel less like it's just a rejection. Tying your need for room to practical needs also should help some, so he sees the rationality of it.

    You're probably dealing with a non-intuitive person, so you need to not leave vague areas. Ambiguity can become a large fearsome thing to an Si-driven person, they often imagine the worst when they're force to imagine.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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