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  1. #21
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i can appreciate a lil romantic gesture sometimes as long as it doesn't feel too cliche or contrived.

    going to a lil secluded place with a bottle of wine...like a boat dock, canoe, tent in the back yard, the beach, lake, flower field, top of a mountain, hill....anything like that i love....

    or just grabbing me in the kitchen to dance...a really good slow dance...

    so..i realized maybe a lot of that does sound cliche...but i guess it's just about creating lil moments, ya know.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #22
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Idea of romantic gesture or evening? I don't know. I'll know it when I see it. I guess that makes me a tough customer. I say the same thing when people want to get me gifts, which is why they say I'm hard to shop for.

    For a thoughtful gesture, I like your idea, Saslou. Something that shows they put a little effort and feeling into it--something personal. But one can be thoughtful without being romantic, so that's not a complete answer.

    Conclusion: I don't know
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  3. #23
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Romantic Gesture - Things like...building me a kitchen table. Flowers from Aldi's. They're beautiful and inexpensive and it's touching that he thinks to stop. Little comforts he likes to give me. A foot rub. My warm blaket. A movie then laying in his lap, stroking my hair the whole time. When he works from home and I've been at work he likes to order dinner, wash my hair and rub my back until I fall asleep and let me stay asleep.

    Romantic Evening - We have a date night one day a week. It's a rule we have has since the beginning. No kids, no chore type shopping. Sometimes we just go to the park and walk and have a picnic. Sometimes dinner and a movie. Sometimes a sporting event. Whatever we do it's together and talking and as little life stresses as possible. We do get a totally kid free weekend here and there too. Stock up on all the little food items or whatever we need. A couple bottles of wine. Some movies to watch. We're working on a little playroom off our bedroom and sometimes we retire to it for a whole day. It's hard for him to get away for a vacation but long weekends are doable. We have some favorite places on Lake Michigan for those.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  4. #24
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    I wrote about a good date in a previous thread:

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I don't like dating - it feels like I'm being interviewed. But if I have to do it, it has to be an activity. Nothing makes me bond more with someone more than physical activity. My current favorite thing is trapeze school over at Chelsea Piers. It's so cool throwing yourself all over the place, while overlooking the river.

    Or we can play tennis in Prospect Park, which I adore. Or just take a walk somewhere pretty, so my Ne can feed off the changing surroundings and keep the conversation lively. Sitting across from someone in a dark restaurant doesn't inspire my Ne, unless we've already been intimate (). And I don't like to make a big deal about eating. People feel so alienated when they find out I'm vegan and make me feel like I'm a huge burden or something. I can skip the dinner dates altogether...

    I think movie dates are pointless since you can't talk (though I get a kick out of those who still talk to me anyway...). Unless, of course, I'm with another filmmaker and it's not a fluff piece. If someone can have a meaningful technical discussion with me about the craft of the film (not the feeling of the film), then .

    Sex/marriage is the last thing I think about when I'm on date. I agree with you, fluff. I just want to get along with the person and have fun.
    But a romantic gesture, to me, is one in which someone heard what I said in an offhand comment and acted upon it. When someone expresses that they have paid attention and are invested in me somehow... For instance, I was having a discussion about music with a group of friends and it was a lengthy discussion and I mentioned that I love all music but one specific band spoke to me. That when they wrote songs, I actually felt the emotion behind them. It was a 10 second sentence and the conversation continued. A few days later, a guy who was there handed me a mix cd of songs by that band. He went through their entire catalog of music (spanning almost 3 decades) and handpicked the ones that expressed the way he felt about me. I was floored and forever touched. When I listen to that cd now, I am still so moved that I can only get through the first few songs.

  5. #25
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    When I am in love I construe pretty much anything as a romantic gesture. I don't need or even necessarily like big and showy. I really don't like contrived i.e. finding the engagement ring at the bottom of a glass of champagne.

    I much prefer sustained, consistent closeness even while we are doing the mundane... like doing the grocery shopping together and making it fun! Kissing in the freezer section, getting pushed around riding the cart or some such thing. Or calling me/looking after me when I'm sick even though I hardly let anyone do that. A cute date could be playing arcade games in a hot dog shop til the early hours of the morning, knees touching. Night time picnics somewhere scenic and remote are nice too. So is sitting around a campfire built for two, sipping champagne. I absolutely love when someone writes for me, if they have the ability.

    But, yeah, I don't like generic. I prefer something very personalized. Basically, I adjust expectations depending on his romantic capacity. If his heart is in the right place and he shows it then that means more than anything.

  6. #26
    Reigning Bologna Princess Rajah's Avatar
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    I'm not into traditional romantic expressions. Flowers* and chocolate don't do it for me. I prefer things that are quirky, funny and surprising. Someone who understands that and can deliver shows that they really get me. I think some things are terribly romantic, if not in a traditional sense. I find simple things romantic, like linking me to a game because he knows I'd like it or having a silly cell phone ring for me or getting a text message just to let me know he's thinking of me because there was an odd road sign and he knew I'd appreciate the humor in it. One of the gestures I consider the most romantic would probably surprise the hell out of him if I told him because it is exceptionally geeky but, in my eyes, wonderful.



    *Except tulips. I love tulips.


    I... suppose. Yeah!

  7. #27
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spirilis View Post
    Um, taking a long walk to a river while talking, followed by a quiet moment sitting on a fallen tree next to the river taking in the moment together, followed by an equally long walk back, followed by dinner
    Sighhhhhhhh ..
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  8. #28
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanveane View Post
    When I am in love I construe pretty much anything as a romantic gesture. I don't need or even necessarily like big and showy. I really don't like contrived i.e. finding the engagement ring at the bottom of a glass of champagne.

    I much prefer sustained, consistent closeness even while we are doing the mundane... like doing the grocery shopping together and making it fun! Kissing in the freezer section, getting pushed around riding the cart or some such thing. Or calling me/looking after me when I'm sick even though I hardly let anyone do that. A cute date could be playing arcade games in a hot dog shop til the early hours of the morning, knees touching. Night time picnics somewhere scenic and remote are nice too. So is sitting around a campfire built for two, sipping champagne. I absolutely love when someone writes for me, if they have the ability.

    But, yeah, I don't like generic. I prefer something very personalized. Basically, I adjust expectations depending on his romantic capacity. If his heart is in the right place and he shows it then that means more than anything.

    With the exception of the ring thing, this actually made me go Awwwwwwww out loud followed by laughing at myself for doing it.

    I'm all about the little things, sitting on the counters talking for an hour while cooking something that should have only took 5 minutes. Waking up to a text every morning to remind me you're thinking about me. Tossing a ball at me over the isle at the store. Doing something silly and making me laugh while I'm trying to concentrate. Leaving a note in my car, softly touching the back of my neck while I'm driving, bringing me a cold water before I know I want if (say I'm doing yard work). Calling me back after we just hung up to tell me you miss me already. Calling me when you're at the store to ask if I need anything. God, it really is all the little stuff, I don't even care about huge romantic gestures. It's all the things you would only remember to do if you were completely enamored with somebody.

    I do stuff like that and while I haven't met many girls that do those are the type of things that will make me fall HARD!

    It's the little stuff like that that sticks out in my mind because you can't fake it, because I know that'll last and I refuse to be in a mundane and stagnant relationship. I'm a very VERY passionate, affectionate and loving person and I do feel like I shine my brightest when I'm in love but I would rather be alone forever than fall short of what I'm worth.

  9. #29
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Romantic gesture - Having a book read to me, a note .. or something that has required a few minutes time.

    An evening - A pizza (homemade of course), a movie (preferably comedy) then wild rampant sex (if no sex, then talking will do until we both fall sleep).

    Need more female input here .. i think
    Very romantic.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    romantic evening:

    We sometimes put our bed in the living room in front of the tv, for an entire sunday, and do nothing but watch movies, snuggle, make love and eat in the bed. Utter bliss...
    Very, very, very romantic.

  10. #30
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    When he shows up with thick-rimmed glasses, and I know he's prepared probably for covering up his identity by not shaving for 6 months, wearing a trenchcoat and gloves with his gray-primer van behind him and holding duct tape. After a while a madman with a mask on of a wild mouse in a loincloth jumps the truck and starts to attack the driver, and the van goes crazy, and I go bouncing all around in the back. Dinner gives me so much time to look someone in the face I need a break, so the movie helps calm me down.. I get light headed just laughing too much at once, I'm certainly stressed and worn out by the end of a dinner date.

    .... I suppose I should give something other than when Ubie and I go out and meet Obie.

    Ideally, anything can be taken as a date, as long as it's the two of us. I like the typical dinner and movie thing, I also like going somewhere pretty to talk. I'm shy, and bad with eye contact. I do best when I talk while looking away. Pretty scenery helps. It's like I feel things need to be said in person, but I'm so scared to say them.

    Also, I really like romantic gestures more than romantic dates. Dates are things that are suppose to break the ice, and get the two of you bonding and talking and communicating. I think this is best done in light-hearted ways. The most romantic I'd want to get on a date would be an outing to a pretty place to talk.

    I'm big on work being related to love. Can't help it, I'm that way. I totally agree with the kitchen-table gesture. Helping me fix my sink, or helping me build a DnD character or teaching me how to make a better deck of cards.. I'd appreciate these things more than flowers (EVERYTHING is highly appreciated though. Gotta throw that disclaimer in there.) I'm cheesy and generally accept anything, so if you're the wooing present type I'm fine with it, and if you're the type that shows love through work or help I also appreciate it. Both are pretty necessary imo.
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