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  1. #21
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    Their inner mind/heart is their sanctuary which they keep very private...

    The only way to get them to open up is to be consistently reliable and always be there for them; it will take time.

    They look for consistency!!!

  2. #22

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    Yeah, being an ISTJ I would suggest:
    be patient
    be interested/caring
    and CALM DOWN (if you need to) lol
    By the way, I'm the girl in the picture, lol.... happily married though, so don't even...

  3. #23
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    ISTJs really intrigue me. (Unless they're security-seeking to a great extent. That's sort of a turn-off of SJs for me.)


    Does anyone think this intriguing-ness of an INTJ toward an ISTJ could be analogous of an INFP toward an INTJ?

    Sort of that "we're soo similar in so many ways, but you're way more level-headed than I am?" (an INTJ would be very level-headed wrt an INFP, and an ISTJ would be way more level-headed wrt an INTJ)
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  4. #24
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    I am glad I found this thread. Thank you @fia and @Jennifer for your contributions.

    (particularly interested that you correlated Se with Buddhist ideals)

  5. #25
    Member CheshireCat's Avatar
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    "when a caterpillar makes its transformation into a butterfly, it is not an easy process. the little butterfly struggles to break free of the cocoon. in that very process of struggling to ge out, the butterfly exercises its wing muscles and builds up thenecessary strength to fly. if you compassionately cut open the cocoon to make it easierfor the butterfly, it will never gain the strength to fly. instead it just dies."

  6. #26
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CheshireCat View Post
    "when a caterpillar makes its transformation into a butterfly, it is not an easy process. the little butterfly struggles to break free of the cocoon. in that very process of struggling to ge out, the butterfly exercises its wing muscles and builds up thenecessary strength to fly. if you compassionately cut open the cocoon to make it easierfor the butterfly, it will never gain the strength to fly. instead it just dies."
    Cocoon : moth
    Chrysalis : butterfly
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  7. #27
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    ISTJ certainly opens up well with alcohol. Works every time. The most important thing is that you establish rituals. Say hello and goodbye in a strange voice or something (srsly) every single day, or say the exact same thing every time you do a certain thing. Have the exact same conversation every time a certain topic comes up. Ritual, routine, predictability -- you can make it up out of nothing, as long as you are consistent. Remember some little quip they made and apply it at every possible opportunity until it becomes a catch phrase between the two of you - they love that shit. Schtick, y'know? Code words. Inside jokes. Watch for them waiting for you to do the same thing tomorrow that you did today. For example, I once advised mine to borrow my umbrella because it was raining out. The next day, as she passed by my desk on her way to lunch, she asked if she should put on her coat or something. Caught me completely by surprise and I was thinking, like, what am I, the weather man? so I said something intelligent like, "Huh?" and she looked puzzled. We had constant disconnects like that until I realized she wants the same thing every time, every day.

  8. #28
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Hilarious @Tiltyred
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  9. #29
    Level 8 Propaganda Bot SpankyMcFly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    ISTJ certainly opens up well with alcohol. Works every time. The most important thing is that you establish rituals. Say hello and goodbye in a strange voice or something (srsly) every single day, or say the exact same thing every time you do a certain thing. Have the exact same conversation every time a certain topic comes up. Ritual, routine, predictability -- you can make it up out of nothing, as long as you are consistent. Remember some little quip they made and apply it at every possible opportunity until it becomes a catch phrase between the two of you - they love that shit. Schtick, y'know? Code words. Inside jokes. Watch for them waiting for you to do the same thing tomorrow that you did today. For example, I once advised mine to borrow my umbrella because it was raining out. The next day, as she passed by my desk on her way to lunch, she asked if she should put on her coat or something. Caught me completely by surprise and I was thinking, like, what am I, the weather man? so I said something intelligent like, "Huh?" and she looked puzzled. We had constant disconnects like that until I realized she wants the same thing every time, every day.
    I work with an ISTJ and every time I see him for the first time in any given day I do my best Matrix Agent voice and call him "Mrrrr... (insert ISTJ name here, but drawn out)..." He really gets a kick out of this and responds in kind. Sometimes we seg way to other Matrix quotes, but not always. I think he likes the feeling that we are doing something sneaky that no one knows about but it isn't really anything "wrong".

    You hit the nail on the head though about the routine/ritual thing.
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... Some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age. " - H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #30
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    There was a time when we used to spend several minutes on rituals such as those whenever a friend called me (or I called him). And sometimes after the rituals were done, we hang up (and called again for the real conversation). That was just hilarious.
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
    -Nikola Tesla

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