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  1. #41
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    I think the SJ's protectiveness is AMAZINGLY romantic. I'm smitten by one!

    P.S. I like to ask my ISFJ what he would do if someone tried to kill me...

    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy View Post
    I think I am very loving. If I like you, than you will know about it. If I don't then you probably won't see me around very much or I might just keep my distance. I hate conflicts, life is too short for those games.

    I consider my love for my husband as deeper than openingly passionate. It's more like an old elderly couple that have loved each other since they where high school sweet hearts. I rarely demand anything from anyone other than good behavior from my kids and hopefully students, adults well it's not my business.

    If my husband is busy doing something I often will come up and give him a peck on the cheek. A bear hug every once in awhile. As for my kids I will give them a kiss on the cheek in public, a hug or walk with my arm around them. However it embarrasses my 15 year old, my 11 year old and 10 year old don't mind. My 3 year old is a bit rebellious it all depends on her mood. Mostly she would rather I carry her; depending on my energy level I usually don't mind.

    We may not be the artistic romantic type however we guard, stand up and protect those under our care. Ultimately known as reliable and not given into pleasure seeking behaviors.

    So it really depends on the type of affection you are asking about.

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by lbloom View Post
    From a data set of one, ISFJs can be quite affectionate in private. While physical touch is appreciated, they can really like verbal affirmation, and will provide this till you get the hint about returning it. They definitely thrive on it.

    In public, I'd say that a little overt display can be appreciated, especially for the signals that it sends to others that she's taken, and that you're in charge. Beyond that may induce embarrassment.

    Since they are likely to value traditional gender roles at least somewhat, ISFJ behavior may seem to be quite different for males.
    This is true. My ISFJ is more apt to show people that I'm taken in public with his body language and he definitely wants to be the one to open the doors and ask for the table and sometimes I let him order food for me because he likes it... hahaha... It's funny because he's not openly overly-protective and has never asked for that stuff, I've just guessed all that about him but it works like a charm. I've also noticed that he finds pushing the grocery cart emasculating, so I take it off his hands if we go to the store and send him to find stuff; he loves it.

  3. #43
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I'm naturally very affectionate. I find myself having to hold back or curb it sometimes.
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  4. #44
    Señora Member Elfa's Avatar
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    I have an ISFJ friend who finds very difficult expressing her feelings towards someone she really cares about. She seems to have an easier time expressing to friends, but romantically she has been having some problems with that...

    That's all I know, I'm no ISFJ.

  5. #45
    Member Unionruler's Avatar
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    Hahaha. True friends and above and selected good friends get hugs hello and good bye. Close friends get the longest hugs, snuggles and cuddles. Random pats here and there. "I love you"s qualified (e.g. as a friend, as a fellow child of God) and unqualified as appropriate.

    If I want/need/am protective of someone I hold them a noticeable few seconds before letting go from a hug. I think it's not too difficult to tell. I hope it's nice being on the receiving end, would really like to try dating another ISFJ who shows affection like I do.

  6. #46
    Senior Member wolfnara's Avatar
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    Maybe it depends on the individual? I use a lot of Fe but I dont think of myself as affectionate...
    "Those who do not move, do not notice their chains"
    -Rosa Luxemburg

  7. #47
    Senior Member Fun in the Sun's Avatar
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    I love sex. An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.....

  8. #48
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    ISFJs can be very affectionate, but in general they will tend to be a little shy and sensitive to initially open up. Experience and imprinting from life can have a bigger impact on Si doms than average, so if they were raised in a home without affection, that will impact their relationship to it. For some, that could make them more distant because they are reproducing experience, but perhaps it could make other ISFJs consciously create a different dynamic because they learned from experience that they have needs that weren't met.

    SFJs tend to express love in acts of service and help. They tend to be the best at knowing exactly what you need when you are sick, or finding the most perfect, personal gift, etc. They can make a living environment the most comfortable and peaceful in many cases. Most Fe-aux definitely need kindnesses and affection from a partner, but for the ISFJ, experience will play a greater role in defining the specifics of how the affection is communicated.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
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  9. #49
    Senior Member Fun in the Sun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    ISFJs can be very affectionate, but in general they will tend to be a little shy and sensitive to initially open up. Experience and imprinting from life can have a bigger impact on Si doms than average, so if they were raised in a home without affection, that will impact their relationship to it. For some, that could make them more distant because they are reproducing experience, but perhaps it could make other ISFJs consciously create a different dynamic because they learned from experience that they have needs that weren't met.

    SFJs tend to express love in acts of service and help. They tend to be the best at knowing exactly what you need when you are sick, or finding the most perfect, personal gift, etc. They can make a living environment the most comfortable and peaceful in many cases. Most Fe-aux definitely need kindnesses and affection from a partner, but for the ISFJ, experience will play a greater role in defining the specifics of how the affection is communicated.
    You seem to have a good understanding of Si domes. Definitely shy and sensitive to those around me. I may be slow to warm up, but when I do I can be very affectionate. Intensely affectionate and sensual.

  10. #50
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    Hi, I'm new to this site. I'm ISFJ .

    I would say that I'm extremely affectionate with people I know really well. I don't want to ever make anyone uncomfortable so I am very careful about who and how I show this affection. I hug often and cuddle during movies. I hold hands. And I like sitting close to others on long car rides. I am also a massage therapist so I am constantly reaching out and massaging hands, shoulders and necks when I'm feeling generous. Which is pretty often. I'm not too big on pda but, I love linking my arm with someone else. With people I don't know as well, someone who isn't a close friend or family, I'm a lot more reserved. It's hard for me to understand whether or not they want me to do something like that.

    My best advise if you would like an ISFJ to show their affectionate side is to be affectionate to them and encourage affectionate actions. Don't be weird about them taking your hand or cautiously playing with your hair. They're testing the waters and seeing if they can get closer to you.
    Likes Fun in the Sun liked this post

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