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  1. #21
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarenParker View Post
    I'm really surprised by everyone's responses. The ISFJ I am thinking of is very affectionate with me but it might be that he is doing that out of a sense of duty because I told him it's my favorite thing in the world. Not duty in the sense that it's a chore he hates doing but duty in the sense that he gets enjoyment out of taking care of me. I just hope it doesn't go away...
    Sense of duty might be part of it, but I think you need to acknowledge the role that infatuation and lust play in a situation like this. I am not saying he is being disingenuous, but if he's infatuated or lustful expect his display of affections to be exaggerated.

    maliafee's post seemed pretty good in that regard as to what to potentially expect.

  2. #22
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maliafee View Post
    Sure person #1 is ISFJ?
    For sure, sister!

    ISFJ Relationships
    "They're great for providing for everyday basic needs, and have a depth of caring which is very unusual, and not found in most types. They highly invested in the health of their relationships, and will work very hard to make things run smoothly. They are dependable and affectionate lovers."

    That is why I am surprised to hear the responses here! I looked at that website and it says that they are affectionate but reading this forum would suggest otherwise. I wonder why that is?
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  3. #23
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Sense of duty might be part of it, but I think you need to acknowledge the role that infatuation and lust play in a situation like this. I am not saying he is being disingenuous, but if he's infatuated or lustful expect his display of affections to be exaggerated.

    maliafee's post seemed pretty good in that regard as to what to potentially expect.
    I have thought about lust and infatuation playing a role. I don't think we are very lusty people. So I'm not sure about that one. Maybe infatuation. But I always thought infatuation was when you're really passionate about someone but you don't trust them and you're not really loyal to them and that's not the case at all with us. Only time will tell. I appreciate the response.
    E - 79% I - 21%
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    T - 32% F - 68%
    J - 32% P - 68%

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  4. #24
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    ISFJs are rather affectionate AT FIRST! After a time, the affectionate is doled out at the appropriate times. I will say that if I am affectionate first, it is ALWAYS reciprocated.

  5. #25
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maliafee View Post
    ISFJs are rather affectionate AT FIRST! After a time, the affectionate is doled out at the appropriate times. I will say that if I am affectionate first, it is ALWAYS reciprocated.
    Oh for sure. I'm sure it's like that for every relationship.
    E - 79% I - 21%
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  6. #26
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarenParker View Post
    Maybe infatuation. But I always thought infatuation was when you're really passionate about someone but you don't trust them and you're not really loyal to them and that's not the case at all with us. Only time will tell. I appreciate the response.
    Naw, trust nor loyalty are part of infatuation one way or the other, outside of neither really being a requirement for it.

    1 : to cause to be foolish : deprive of sound judgment
    2 : to inspire with a foolish or extravagant love or admiration
    Please understand I don't mean this in a bad way. It's actually very common, healthy, and to me important part of the early part of the relationship. Eventually the infatuation wears off, and can either be replaced with love or with nothing (which usually leads to a breakup).

    But it exaggerates and intensifies. That intensity is probably causing him to show his affections in an "extravagant" manner.

    Again, this isn't a bad thing! I'm just stating that this is probably in part why you are experiencing a disconnect between your experiences and the replies of this forum.

  7. #27
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Meh... The way I see it.
    ISFJs are somewhat frigid folk, who like to express themselves mostly in privacy. There are plenty who are somewhat shy about large displays of affection, although the more secure and mature ones might be able to overcome that.

    Why the shyness about PDA?
    Well... it's the same reason that some ISFJs are known to flirt by acting all coy like.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarenParker View Post
    Oh for sure. I'm sure it's like that for every relationship.
    Not necessarily. Just ask my first boyfriend!!! :P


    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Naw, trust nor loyalty are part of infatuation one way or the other, outside of neither really being a requirement for it.

    Please understand I don't mean this in a bad way. It's actually very common, healthy, and to me important part of the early part of the relationship. Eventually the infatuation wears off, and can either be replaced with love or with nothing (which usually leads to a breakup).

    But it exaggerates and intensifies. That intensity is probably causing him to show his affections in an "extravagant" manner.

    Again, this isn't a bad thing! I'm just stating that this is probably in part why you are experiencing a disconnect between your experiences and the replies of this forum.
    I've read that infatuation never "wears off" in couples that remain together and still care (even if it seems to have worn off). In fact, scientists have found that the same amounts of dopamine are being released in the brain years later, but the body has gotten used to it and are not releasing so much adrenaline so it feels as though the "spark" or "infatuation" has worn off.

  9. #29
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maliafee View Post
    Not necessarily. Just ask my first boyfriend!!! :P




    I've read that infatuation never "wears off" in couples that remain together and still care (even if it seems to have worn off). In fact, scientists have found that the same amounts of dopamine are being released in the brain years later, but the body has gotten used to it and are not releasing so much adrenaline so it feels as though the "spark" or "infatuation" has worn off.
    i think you're are reffering to Limerence - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ...i dont think scientists would say that "infatuation never wears off". They would say that rather than dopamine being released for reasons of excitement, its released for reasons of assurance (security in the relationship). im not sure id call it infatuation.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    i think you're are reffering to Limerence - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ...i dont think scientists would say that "infatuation never wears off". They would say that rather than dopamine being released for reasons of excitement, its released for reasons of assurance (security in the relationship). im not sure id call it infatuation.
    Touché!

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