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  1. #41
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    You know that it doesn't scare them; they know when you're being ridiculous and unrealistic. They just get annoyed, and stop listening to you. Or they might try to force the conversation back to their (the SJs') topic of discussion, or force it back within realistic boundaries. (depends upon a lot of situational variables)
    But I want them to stop listening to me, when I do that, of course. And how can you "force" the conversation back, if the other person doesn't want? There's prison waiting
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  2. #42
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    But I want them to stop listening to me, when I do that, of course.
    I figured that's what you meant, yeah.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  3. #43
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    I don't think people mind some of the questions, it's just that we tend to question them in such a blunt way that it FEELS like an interrogation.
    I admit it, I do this all the time. :blushing: I've had friends jokingly suggest that I have a secret dossier on everyone I know. But honestly, I just find questions a good way to get to know people better.

    Though, perhaps, I do unintentionally ask the questions in a way that FEELS like an interrogation. I'll try to work on it in the future though since apparently not many types actually enjoy this form of socializing. I've never had someone get truly angry or annoyed at me though (as far as I know), mostly my friends just answer all the questions...then when they've had enough they'll laugh and jokingly accuse me of "interrogating". I've been told though that some of my questions lead to very interesting discussion, so that's a plus. Although, I'm sure other types of questions like "what did you eat for breakfast? is that usually what you eat for breakfast? etc." aren't nearly as intellectually stimulating. Alas, I like to learn through questions and I love to analyze details.

    Edited to Add:
    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    I love asking questions! It is how I learn... you see, if we get a fact we will remember it for a very long time. BUT I know when to stop asking questions as it annoys some people. I have more than once gotten the "WHAT IS THIS AN INTERROGATION" or similar reponse.
    Yes! It's how I learn as well. But yeah...I've gotten the whole "WHAT IS THIS AN INTERROGATION?!" thing more than once (in fact, most recently, someone said that to me this past monday). I try not to do it once I actually feel like I know the person well but while I'm in the process of trying to get to know someone or becoming friends with someone, I ask questions a lot.

    *Note: Also if I ever do ask a mundane question like "what's your favorite food?", I'll never ask it again. I'm really good at remembering conversations (almost verbatim sometimes) and details. So if you answer the question and tell me, then it could be 2 months later or 2 years later and I'll still remember. So no repeat questions (unless you didn't really answer it the first time and I'm still curious).
    Last edited by AutumnReverie; 05-09-2009 at 02:36 PM.
    After all,
    you're my wonderwall...

    {listen: }

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I use the same approach against SJs that are like this.
    sameo

  5. #45
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    My ex-roomie, an ISTJ, needed to know the ins and outs of my life. Although, she may be an exception, as she had a lot of trust issues, and was a bit obsessed with me (read: weird).

    I usually answer questions and think nothing of it, but, sometimes, the tone and the way of questioning did make me feel like an interrogation.

    That's when, once her question is asked, I prolonged the silence, just a bit, to make it awkward, turn to her, just stare at her for a few MORE seconds, and then say, in an even, cool tone, "Excuse me? [...] Ask me that....seriously, ask me that, just ONE MORE time."

    It's pretty evident, without saying it, I'm adding the words, [Just DARE...] at the start of that.

    That's when she would fuss about, tripping over her 'sorries', and I'd get respite from a barrage of questioning for a few days subsequently.

  6. #46
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    ...then when they've had enough they'll laugh and jokingly accuse me of "interrogating".
    I often mask it in a laugh too, but that's the warning shot...

  7. #47
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    That's when, once her question is asked, I prolonged the silence, just a bit, to make it awkward, turn to her, just stare at her for a few MORE seconds, and then say, in an even, cool tone, "Excuse me? [...] Ask me that....seriously, ask me that, just ONE MORE time."
    Was the question she asked you offensive? Or were you just angry/annoyed with the amount of questions she had asked in a row?

    I agree, I think that tone and the way we (ISTJs) ask the questions might be the biggest problem. If I don't get the laughing "is this interrogation?" question, then I usually get the semi-jokingly "are you trying to psychoanalyze me?" question (because I'm a psychology major and so my non-psychology major friends assume that)

    I often mask it in a laugh too, but that's the warning shot...
    Ah I thought so. I usually stop the questions after that point and try to direct the conversation to a topic that isn't started by one of my questions.
    After all,
    you're my wonderwall...

    {listen: }

  8. #48
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    Or were you just angry/annoyed with the amount of questions she had asked in a row?
    This one. Then again, I'm allergic to nagging (or anything that resembles that). Fastest way to get me to drop a situation (and the person) and walk away or come back with red hot rage.

    I agree, I think that tone and the way we (ISTJs) ask the questions might be the biggest problem. If I don't get the laughing "is this interrogation?" question, then I usually get the semi-jokingly "are you trying to psychoanalyze me?" question (because I'm a psychology major and so my non-psychology major friends assume that)
    It's an interrogation when one, proportionally, is the questioner and the other the questioned. If, like a normal conversation, the other person breaks up questions with insights, commentary, a thought...you know, to flesh out the conversation, give a direction to why the questions, a GIVE AND TAKE (note the 'give' part)...then, it's cool, and I'll go on for hours. And, I did with her, ISTJ. Very fun conversations. But, if you are firing questions, without any feel to justify the questions somehow with statements of context, insight, etc....then, yeah, I'm left feeling merely questioned. And, I'm gonna come back at you, hard.

  9. #49
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OregonENFP View Post
    My bf is an ISTJ and he wants to know every single detail of every single thing. He asks me every question under the sun what did I do in detail at the gym to how much did I spend on my groceries. I'm starting to think this is a personality trait of the STJ. Wanting to know everything. As an ENFP, I'm pretty vague generally and don't really find reliving every single boring detail of every single thing very fun for me, especially when it has to do with money and how much in detail that I spent on something. Sometimes I just say "I don't know" because I can't be bothered because it annoys me or sometimes I really cannot remember. This bothers him endlessly. Just wondering if you do this, too? Is there a way to get him to lay off the endless questions??

    I would also like to add that we're having a long distance relationship and I think this could be part of it, too.

    I was married to an ISTJ just like this.

    I don't pay attention to detail, but whenever he was intterogating me (and believe me there were times he would turn off the light and shine the lamp in my face and question me for hours) he would be demanding details, dates, places, times, dates again just to see if I slipped up.

    Even things like love, it needed to be given detail, to be explained in a way he could relate, which is totally unlike my "I just feel what I feel when I feel it" way of living life.

    Most frustrating time of my life. :steam:
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

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  10. #50
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    It's an interrogation when one, proportionally, is the questioner and the other the questioned. If, like a normal conversation, the other person breaks up questions with insights, commentary, a thought...you know, to flesh out the conversation, give a direction to why the questions, a GIVE AND TAKE (note the 'give' part)...then, it's cool, and I'll go on for hours. And, I did with her, ISTJ. Very fun conversations. But, if you are firing questions, without any feel to justify the questions somehow with statements of context, insight, etc....then, yeah, I'm left feeling merely questioned. And, I'm gonna come back at you, hard.
    Oh good to know. The bolded part is what I do. However, I'm still usually the only one who is asking the questions (and therefore directing the conversation). But I integrate the questions into a normal conversation, add insight, and flesh out the conversation. Most of the time I ask the questions because it's a way for me to learn about the other person, by hearing the other person's POV on various issues or hypothetical topics.

    The only time I'll ask questions back-to-back (firing questions) is when the person just keeps giving me a "uh, I don't know" answer or just a one-word response (and is still giving me the impression that they would like to talk but isn't actually offering up any of their own topics of conversation). I'm looking for something we can have a good/interesting/fun conversation about, and if the person won't answer or elaborate on the answers then it's difficult for me to learn about him or her. Though I've found that, once people "give in" they actually quite enjoy it. In the past couple of years, I've been directly told twice that I'm a very intellectually stimulating conversationalist...once from an INTJ peer/friend of mine and once from an english Professor of mine.
    After all,
    you're my wonderwall...

    {listen: }

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