I'm a male INFP in a relationship with a female ESFJ. Some would call this an unlikely pairing(others, I'm sure would confirm its possibility and even positive aspects).
For the most part, things have been going beautifully for the last 3 months since we began dating. I have been rather stressed lately, however, and I because of this I have a tendency to become emotionally overloaded and have trouble getting out of my head and imagining problems. I think all of this boils down to one major issue that I want to discuss here.
So my question for ESFJs(or indeed anyone who might have any sort of insight) is: I see that my girlfriend likes to accomplish things. I am a highly impractical person who is more interested in doing whatever suits my fancy on any given day. She says she is really okay with who I am, but I can't shake this feeling that someday she's going to open her eyes and start to be annoyed by my lack of accomplishment(or desire for accomplishment sometimes), and will for this reason start attempting to assert control in areas she feels there is a problem, and I don't. Sometimes I wonder, because she is pragmatic and concrete, how she could appreciate anything about my personality(despite the fact that I find myself quite interesting. haha).
I know this worry is likely unfounded, and believe me, I'm doing everything in my power to avoid such negative thoughts.
My sister is also an ESFJ, and I can't help but feel that she views me as lazy. I am really okay with waking up, playing my guitar, getting on the computer, enjoying a video game, and hanging out with friends when I'm not working. The things she does easily(administrative, management, organization), are very difficult for me, and because her skills are more practical I sometimes feel she views herself, somewhere deep inside, as superior to me(even though I don't feel this way myself). Needless to say, I worry that my current relationship will someday turn into this, though there aren't any strong hints so far that this might be the case. And really, my sister and I have a pretty good relationship. I just can't help but assume she views her worldview and capabilities as more valid because they are both more practical. Any input or opinions are welcome here.
All of these things said, both my sister and girlfriend both surprise me with their romps into 'N' and 'P' territory, or other attempts at flexibility and understanding. My girlfriend will sit and listen to me ramble on about feelings for minutes at a time, and I feel she really wants to connect with me. She truly is a beautiful, selfless person.
Again, please forgive me for my worrisome nature. I know in time I'll feel better again, and can return to being my normal self. In the meantime, I guess I just want to know that my girlfriend appreciates me for who I am(even when I'm not trying to be someone else), and that I'm not just some pawn in her very practical mind(hah!). I figured insight from other SJs might be helpful.