I started this thread because most basic type descriptions of ESTJs, when discussing feelings, mostly refer to the typical ESTJ lack of awareness of the feelings of others. They don't really mention the feelings of ESTJs. We do have a sensitive side! Seriously! We just internalize so much that it all tends to come out at once.
(I also started this thread to make sure that I'm not alone in this issue, since, because I am friends with absolutely NO ESTJs irl, I definitely feel alone in it.)
These are the best (though still minimal) descriptions of ESTJ outbursts that I could find:
"The ESTJ under stress may become emotional and withdrawn and catastrophize greatly..."
- Marriage Attributes Compatibility Test ESTJ!!
"Under extreme stress... the ESTJ's shadow may appear... Example characteristics are: ...having intense emotions, that may or may not be expressed..."
- ESTJ Personality Types
"Specific suggestions (to ESTJs): ...If you become angry, walk away. When you allow anger to control your actions, you lose, and quite possibly somebody else loses too. After you have dealt with your anger and calmed down, continue with what you were doing..."
- ESTJ Personal Growth
"(When stressed,) ESTJs can become extremely sensitive to rejection, or ruminate about past mistakes."
- Myers-Briggs: INFPs, ESTJs and Stress; Strong Interest: Types and Retirement; FIRO-B: Work Environment - Inclusion (this one REALLY struck me, just so you all know... in my opinion, it's the best example of the oft-hidden sensitive side of ESTJs.)
"What can cause this stress for ESTJs? First and foremost, having their authority challenged. Many ESTJs struggle to deal with emotional outbursts, particularly their own. If an ESTJ believes someone has overlooked an obvious "fact" and is being illogical, they will likely feel stress. Sometimes ESTJs cannot contain their anger inside and can lash out at others..."
- see previous link
Even though a bunch of these make ESTJ outbursts seem like, you know, "HULK SMASH PUNY PERSON!", as an ESTJ woman, it's been less like full-on manly anger, and more like EXTREME frustration, to the point that I get choked up (though I REFUSE to shed tears in public, with people I don't trust).
But anyways... a few questions for all of you, and you don't have to answer all of them:
1. What's your experience with ESTJs and emotional outbursts?
2. Plenty of other types internalize their feelings, but they don't have outbursts like the ones mentioned above. What makes ESTJs do this?
3. Any other types that have similar experience with emotion confusion/frustration?
4. If any other ESTJs on this site (any of the fifteen of us, lol) notice this thread... what's your experience? How are you with handling your emotions?