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  1. #21
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    The ESTJs I know don't tend to talk about negative things in their lives though unless they are trivial or the person is on the verge of a breakdown (maybe not even then if you aren't the right person). Maybe it's just not having anyone close enough to feel completely safe with. When internal and interpersonal problems come together at once, I could only imagine the kind of pressure that would build up with nowhere to go.
    Wow. When you phrase it THAT way...
    Yeah, if something really serious is going on in my life, I probably won't tell you unless
    1. you're a close friend, or
    2. you ask me.
    Seriously, if you just ask me what's wrong, I'll probably tell you... if you really seem like you care, and if I like you.

    What form do ESTJ explosions take?
    Depends on the ESTJ, probably, but anger and a raised voice is usually there. With female ESTJs, there might be more getting choked up and less yelling.

    Does the ESTJ feel undignified after the explosion, or just mystified?
    Embarrassed, if it's in public (ESPECIALLY if the conversation in which the explosion took place was with someone outside of the inner circle - I absolutely HATE it when that happens!!!), and, if it's in private, well... naked. Exposed. Vulnerable. Once those feelings wear off, then you get confused. So, to answer your question... both. Just in different stages.

    I can't let something rest in my mind until I have figured out why I even have a certain feeling, let alone an explosion at someone. Once I've figured out what caused it I feel like I can control whatever happens or form a viable plan of action. I think this is why closure matters so much to me and why I have a compulsive need to know what the other person is thinking and I always assume the worst. It's like closure in plans matters to you, how you may assume the worst about unknown future situations and you need to gather all information possible to feel secure. Too bad we couldn't shake us all up. together.
    It looks like, as Anne (from Anne of Green Gables) might say, we are kindred spirits
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  2. #22
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    What about when other people have an emotional outburst on you? If I had to guess I think maybe it would be do whatever has to be done to get through it at the time and then pretend like it never happened, but I might be wrong...Does one outburst ever bring about another? Generally it seems to me like it wouldn't except in very extreme cases.

  3. #23
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    I think you're right that it wouldn't happen often. Usually my reaction to someone else's emotional outburst is either 1. bewilderment, 2. becoming very serious and logical (abnormally so) to try and balance it out, or 3. righteous protectiveness (if it's a friend getting upset about something). If it was someone I didn't know, I would be more likely to, as you said, pretend like it never happened. If it was a friend having a tough time, I MIGHT go up to them later and very somberly say "If there's anything I can do, let me know right away." (But occasion for this doesn't pop up very often.)
    The only time (that I can think of right now) that I would react to an emotional outburst with one of my own would be if the person out-bursting was being unfair to me/my cause/my friends/family/etc.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  4. #24
    Member INTPatricia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Mine BAWLED UNCONTROLLABLY when I went to college for my first semester, and was the most clingy person ever for the whole time until I came home. Wanted me to call multiple times a day, blah blah blah. I thought it was just a personal fear of losing me to some hussy, but she grew out of it, which was nice. Took me like 15 minutes outside trying to get into my car when I was leaving, and all I could think to do was hug and pat her on the back [I know, I'm the worst when it comes to consolation, I should be legally prevented from doing it]. She was also very accusatory during this time whenever there was an inconsistency in my schedule.

    Also, she makes terrible, TERRIBLE decisions when she "feels bad" about something, and at times is just too nice to certain people. Except for me, oddly enough [kidding, teehee].

    Yeah, INTPs can bring out the big baby in the ESTJ...it is kind of cute. They know we are safe.

  5. #25
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Wow, I had forgotten about that story. Blows my mind. I haven't bawled uncontrollably in front of anyone except for my mother in a very long time.

    I heart INTPs for being so steady. Much more so than ESTJs. (Although that makes THEIR outbursts even scarier, but that's besides the point.)
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  6. #26
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Wow, I had forgotten about that story. Blows my mind. I haven't bawled uncontrollably in front of anyone except for my mother in a very long time.

    I heart INTPs for being so steady. Much more so than ESTJs. (Although that makes THEIR outbursts even scarier, but that's besides the point.)
    Haha, sometimes I think mine thinks I am too steady. She'll tell me something in such a way that I know I am supposed to be clearly appalled and outraged at something she's about to tell me, and then when she does... I kinda just stare back.

    Can't count the number of times in the past week alone I've said, "Okay...so what?" Only to be followed up with, "Well don't you think blah blah blah!?"

    She's so funny.



  7. #27
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Haha, sometimes I think mine thinks I am too steady. She'll tell me something in such a way that I know I am supposed to be clearly appalled and outraged at something she's about to tell me, and then when she does... I kinda just stare back.

    Can't count the number of times in the past week alone I've said, "Okay...so what?" Only to be followed up with, "Well don't you think blah blah blah!?"

    She's so funny.
    Lol! Love the juxtaposition there.
    But I can see how that would frustrate her Is it really that you don't care? If not, what causes you to react like that? Because I know INTPs that consistently react appropriately to certain things, and can even react passionately about certain issues.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  8. #28
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Lol! Love the juxtaposition there.
    But I can see how that would frustrate her Is it really that you don't care? If not, what causes you to react like that? Because I know INTPs that consistently react appropriately to certain things, and can even react passionately about certain issues.
    I'm not really sure about if it's that I don't care or not. I've given it some thought, however people sometimes need to tell me why something is outrageous or appaling behavior I do react appropriately. Some transgressions that she sees as a big deal, I don't really catch on to immediately so she has to explain why they're "omigosh" worthy.

    Mostly these are social issues, but it's not everything. Most of the time I do think I react appropriately. However other times I just don't see where she's going with a particular complaint, especially if it's not something I can do anything about.



  9. #29
    HAHHAHHAH! INTJ123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Really? They seem very similar. ...I dunno. I guess I'll delete the socionics one, since I have so many quotes up there anyway.
    Actually... from what I remember the mbti and socionics extroverts are all the same. Socionics swtiches the last letter for introverts, thus I get an INTP in socionics and INTJ in MBTI but I honestly think socionics is not as reliable as much as mbti.


    ESTJs... I know this one, for a long time now. He has a painfully obvious dysfunctional relationship with this XNFP, and much of their problems probably does stem from authority issues. It's really weird but he likes to command her to make coffee or tea, when he doesn't even really want it, it's almost as if he does it to remind her that he's boss. It comes accross as very chauvinistic, but I wouldn't be suprised to see a female ESTJ doing that to her significant other. What is it about authority that appeals to ESTJs so much? It's like you guys get off on feeling superior to others.

  10. #30
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Yeah, what's that all about? My ESTJ used to occasionally get me to help him out with something and then nitpick and tell me the right way to do it each step of the way. What infuriated me even more was when he was doing something on his own, he would even do it the way I had been, so it wasn't that he was just particular that there was one "right" way to do it. Is this about feeling that you know more than other people? I did explain that you only get to say one thing and then after that people will feel rejected and frustrated and quit helping. He briefly made an effort but you could tell it was killing him not to say something!

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