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  1. #1
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Default Are there any ISFJ's here that are at peace with themselves

    I'm still new to all this so it is a learning curve for me .. but can anyone answer this question for me?

    I mentioned in another thread that i seem to be at extremes all the time ..

    I love life one minute then despise it the next.
    I'm a go getter one minute then i hide from the world when i don't like what's happening.
    Life doesn't grind me down until something really bad happens and then i go to my own personal hell.
    I know i deserve better from people who have hurt me but i will criticize myself for all my wrong doings.
    I am a great person with a good personality but i can rip myself to shreds.

    I am 30 years old now and i know i am so damn emotional although i can be logical as well .. In the past i have tried to i suppose you could say fix myself, but i don't know where to start .. i feel like such a complex person .. its like the xmas lights, you have to find the bulb at the end of the line to work your way through the mess ..i have just bookmarked the page on weakness so i will try and work though the list. I hope i am not boring anyone here and no i am not looking for sympathy just a little honesty.. Just hoping someone will tell me they are in a happy place with themselves ..

    Thank you ..

  2. #2
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    My boyfriend is an ISFJ, and truly a wonderful person.

    I've noticed that even though he has everything going for him and his friends and family love him, etc., he still has such high personal standards that he is constantly getting disappointed with himself. I notice he is happiest when he allows himself days off and time to unwind without ANY obligations, but after he has accomplished all he's supposed to. This is hard to fully achieve, though.

    I think for ISFJs it's a life-long thing to be dissatisfied because that is partly what drives the amazing work ethic. I'm sorry for your frustration, though.

  3. #3
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    You're not alone in what you're feeling, saslou, and I'm sure there are many happy ISFJs, but more importantly, you can be happy. You're not a bad person for what you're feeling either and it seems like a pretty complicated matter, especially considering your circumstances. Also, there are people in the world who are nicer than your ex husband was.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Thank you for your replies ..

    Maybe then it isn't particular types that make people feel the way they do but life experiences both good and bad .. Good to know anyway

  5. #5
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    No. I'm not fully at peace with myself, but I'm working on the whole self-acceptance thing since I do think that's the way forward with life.

    Goes to show diversity. I'm the opposite spectrum in some ways, I don't really experience highs or lows however I do fluctuate from the middle. In this manner I'll be down but never down enough to experience anything drastic if that makes sense.

  6. #6
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Try this web site The Personality Page. I found the personal growth section helpful in understanding myself better. It also helped me look at my weakness and not to be so hard on myself.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countrygirl View Post
    Try this web site The Personality Page. I found the personal growth section helpful in understanding myself better. It also helped me look at my weakness and not to be so hard on myself.
    Thank you .. its been booked marked ..

  8. #8
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    First off, Hi

    Hope I am not intruding, but since it was directed at ISFj I thought well I'll give it a go.

    I for the most part am at peace with myself, but I might be a bit out of my surroundings. Sometimes I have to wonder if that feeling is from the situation or some inner workings going on..

    Could it be that you are over-extending yourself?
    Johari / Nohari

    Enneagram 1w2/Lifepath 1/first zodiac sign Aries/first Chinese zodiac sign RAT/first born in my siblings of 3. Did I forget to mention first?

    Independent Director

  9. #9
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy View Post
    First off, Hi

    Hope I am not intruding, but since it was directed at ISFj I thought well I'll give it a go.

    I for the most part am at peace with myself, but I might be a bit out of my surroundings. Sometimes I have to wonder if that feeling is from the situation or some inner workings going on..

    Could it be that you are over-extending yourself?
    Maybe i am .. I love all the advice given and it is something i would say to others .. maybe my whole belief system on love/marriage is/was just an illusion .. why else do so many people divorce .. There has never been balance in my life .. i don't know why i can't allow myself to be happy, i never have been .. or if i am, i will find some criticism to put me back firmly in my place ..
    I want my inner peace .. i want to be happy .. i just can't find it .. i am always at extremes .. and i dont stop thinking .. 3 hours sleep this morning and you would think i am knackered .. NO .. and i am still thinking.
    My father told me "Sarah, you couldn't write a book about your life and have people believe it is a true story" .. At what point do i get my happy ever after?? I try and convince myself with false truths so i feel better, then unfortunately the real truth comes like a bull in a tea shop and that's it .. hell bent personal destruction .. I know i need to give myself time to heal but life seems to have a way of giving me the raw deal with everything .. I dont like playing the victim in anything, but why is it that i always feel like i am being punished .. I keep on trying to focus on something/anything so i stop thinking and that feels good .. but thats my fantasy world where noone gets hurt and is my little utopia .. but it isn't healthy ..
    I just have to accept that come May 1st .. he starts his new chapter and finds happiness .. I may just need a little help finding mine ..
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  10. #10
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Yeah sweetie, it's hard when we look for happiness outside of ourselves because then our happiness lies in the hands of another.

    I think what has helped me to overcome this situation I had faced before in life, is that I have noticed even more so lately. Most of the women I look up too are older, divorced or widowed AND it seems to me that they have the most personal freedom and happiness. Although my husband is great doesn't ask for anything and doesn't do anything. hehehe I somehow find this solitude and peace in life, with these women who seem to have it all (not power or money).

    There were a lot more factors that helped me to move on past the depression. But I hate to bore you with information overload.. Sending you my warmest wishes that you find what you need within.

    I am now on another inner quest for meaning in my life.. Sometimes these things run around like the seasons. Crazy cabin fever!
    Johari / Nohari

    Enneagram 1w2/Lifepath 1/first zodiac sign Aries/first Chinese zodiac sign RAT/first born in my siblings of 3. Did I forget to mention first?

    Independent Director

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