My ISFJ would snort at the idea of a tea party. She's more in favour of rock concerts. As hard as it may be to believe, not all ISFJs are drawn to quiet and structured events.
Other than that, she's usually found at home, watching TV/listening to music, at college, or out in the town centre. Plus, as you guessed, occasionally at rock concerts. She likes keeping in touch with people via social networking sites like MySpace, if that counts.
(I think an appearance-related question was in the OP?) ISFJs - at least the younger ones - dress according to what interests, subculture or group they relate best to. They like to conform, generally speaking. In my ISFJ's case, she loves rock music. So, she's coloured her hair black with red lowlights in a style that's reminiscent of Paramore's vocalist Hayley Williams (only a lot tidier). Her dress sense is rock-esque, only in a sexy and feminine way, as opposed to baggy and unflattering hooded jumpers. She simply looks well put-together, just in a rock chick kind of way. Oh, and she has lip piercing. I think she was considering getting a tattoo as well...
As for what she looks for in a partner, I'm still trying to figure that out myself. :P It certainly isn't looks, so I'll take a wild stab in the dark and go with personality? Even then, I'm sceptical. I'll just say she
pitiedfell for my INTP charm. ;P
She flirts by fluctuating between playing coy and direct innuendos; the typical "attraction-rejection" game-playing. Other than that, she never really flirted that much. She basically sent out hints to meet up (or hints for me to ask her :P). She mainly sent out indirect messages about how she felt, such as romantic lyrics in her IM screen name.
She's an example of a younger ISFJ, though. The oldies could be different.
...*hides her from Dave*