[ISTJ] How not to pursue an ISTJ

[raz]

I stole this idea from dave. Basically all of the things not to do when going after an ISTJ. All of the things that would scare them away.

I'd have to say, around the time of first meeting each other:

Trying to get me to laugh a lot.

Trying to get me to smile a lot.

Asking me what's bothering me.

Telling me to loosen up.

There's more, I'll have to think about it. I'll post some later tomorrow.

 

[Shadow]

Be too keen or forward. I'll be the judge of whether I want you or not...

Be really drunk and neanderthalesque.

Start a conversation about sport, or refer to sport in any way.

Make it really clear that your main objective is getting laid, and helpfully hint at the proximity of your flat.

Plus I like your ideas raz... Has someone tried to chat you up by telling you to loosen up?!

 

[Eagle]

I laugh when someone tells me to loosen up and when it's said repeatedly or very seriously I can see how it's a turn off.

Being Stupid. That's a really good one. Probably one of my favorites. So, by all means don't be stupid.

I like all the rest of the suggestions so far. Except for the "keen or forward" one. That depends on the ways you do it, but in general, it's bad.

 

[Jade]

I stole this idea from dave. Basically all of the things not to do when going after an ISTJ. All of the things that would scare them away.

I'd have to say, around the time of first meeting each other:

Trying to get me to laugh a lot.

Unless you're a comedian, probably won't happen.

Trying to get me to smile a lot.

Replace "a lot" with "at all" and I'm with you.

Asking me what's bothering me.

That question is what's bothering me.

Telling me to loosen up.

This one's interesting. The assumption seems to be that I'm actually this wild party animal that for some reason is holding back the natural beast that I am. So if I'd just stop holding back, then I'd act like everyone else.

Be too keen or forward. I'll be the judge of whether I want you or not...

I'll go with that. I'm suspicious if it's far too easy.

Be really drunk and neanderthalesque.

Can't say I've ever run into this. A few drunk, but don't know any women who act like neanderthals.

Start a conversation about sport, or refer to sport in any way.

I've honestly never heard this. Is there some theory that ISTJs don't like sports? Talking about sports works with me EVERY TIME.

Make it really clear that your main objective is getting laid, and helpfully hint at the proximity of your flat.

I may have missed the point of this thread. Is this about ISTJs in general or personal theories that may not be applicable to ISTJs in general? As far as this one goes, I think this doesn't work with a lot of women regardless of type. I've never had a woman do that with me, although I suspect my vantage point is completely different...

Plus I like your ideas raz... Has someone tried to chat you up by telling you to loosen up?!

I'm not Raz, but I have been told to loosen up. Doesn't usually work out too well. I've heard that I get "looser" as I get to know people more though.

 

[Eagle]

Sports isn't an instant turn off but it bores me to death usually. I prefer to play them. As far as loosening up once we know someone better.. That happens for all of us. I mean, we are introverts. Being ISTJs we just keep the craziness closer to home. You gotta be close to feel it.

 

[uberrogo]

Don't tell me to smile.

 

[Eagle]

Don't tell me to smile.

Yes indeed. Make me smile. But for me to smile I have to be genuinely happy. Forcing it doesn't work. It's a very delicate balance.

 

[Costrin]

Hey peoples, is something bothering you guys? I'm here for you if you want to talk. Why don't you put a smile on that face? Did you know that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile? You guys should loosen up a bit, all then tension and stress is unhealthy. Why don't go out, have some fun for once? Maybe go to a party or a ballgame.

Fo srs reply:
I can relate to a lot of these things. Must be common between IT types.

 

[Eagle]

^That common enough?

 

[T-Guy]

Yeah, why so serious?

 

[Kasper]

This is exactly why Trin + ISTJ was nightmare material for me! Loosen up would ya and for Gowds sake, smile once in a while!

 

[uberrogo]

Yes indeed. Make me smile. But for me to smile I have to be genuinely happy. Forcing it doesn't work. It's a very delicate balance.

Absolutely right.

 

[Eagle]

Absolutely right.

Of course it's right. *cough*

This is exactly why Trin + ISTJ was nightmare material for me! Loosen up would ya and for Gowds sake, smile once in a while!

We have to trust you to loosen up. Our surroundings have to make us happy (I know not always it works for what I'm saying). So, basically the relationship is a nightmare because you aren't trusted or able to make the ISTJ happy.

 

[Amira]

Trying to get me to laugh a lot.

Trying to get me to smile a lot.

Asking me what's bothering me.

+1

Definitely true! If someone did that to me I might not even realize he was doing it out of interest.

Edit: Although I do like it a lot when people are humerous and fun to be around. It's just that if they make it obvious that I am not being smiley enough and need help, it feels like a putdown/expecting me to fit into a box.

 

[Ozz]

Assuming that by sports, you are referring to watching professional sport teams on TV or at the stadium: I have very little interest in sports as well. I don't get why other people are so into sports and paying so much for tickets. I tried watching but it's just a whole bunch of people running around.

 

[Shadow]

I like all the rest of the suggestions so far. Except for the "keen or forward" one. That depends on the ways you do it, but in general, it's bad.

Maybe this holds more true for female ISTJs. I do think male forwardness can be a bit different from female forwardness, although by no means is this always true. Like you say, it's the way they do it, when it comes to females.

 

[Shadow]

Unless you're a comedian, probably won't happen.



Replace "a lot" with "at all" and I'm with you.



That question is what's bothering me.



This one's interesting. The assumption seems to be that I'm actually this wild party animal that for some reason is holding back the natural beast that I am. So if I'd just stop holding back, then I'd act like everyone else.



I'll go with that. I'm suspicious if it's far too easy.



Can't say I've ever run into this. A few drunk, but don't know any women who act like neanderthals.



I've honestly never heard this. Is there some theory that ISTJs don't like sports? Talking about sports works with me EVERY TIME.



I may have missed the point of this thread. Is this about ISTJs in general or personal theories that may not be applicable to ISTJs in general? As far as this one goes, I think this doesn't work with a lot of women regardless of type. I've never had a woman do that with me, although I suspect my vantage point is completely different...



I'm not Raz, but I have been told to loosen up. Doesn't usually work out too well. I've heard that I get "looser" as I get to know people more though.

Jade, I'm talking about men in my case, because I am a straight woman. I actually thought you were a woman too because of your name, sorry!!

 

[Shadow]

Assuming that by sports, you are referring to watching professional sport teams on TV or at the stadium: I have very little interest in sports as well. I don't get why other people are so into sports and paying so much for tickets. I tried watching but it's just a whole bunch of people running around.

Yeah that's what I mean. I don't mind playing the odd game of tennis or something once in a while (though I'm personally not sporty), but when it comes to professional sports... I'll watch the world cup when it comes to it, purely because it's between countries and you can get all patriotic and competitive. Don't actually care that it's football though.

 

[ColonelGadaafi]

Damn you ISTJ's are rigid to the bone. Thanks for the tips lads, now i know how to deal with you guys . If you ever catch a glimpse of a fast runner heading down the road with a bunch of suit- clad bureacrats on his tail during the evening news, you'll known the deed.

 

[BlackCat]

Damn you ISTJ's are rigid to the bone.

One of my many reasons for loving them.