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  1. #31
    Senior Member Eagle's Avatar
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    It depends. It always depends. Honestly, just be yourself. We hate fakes. HATE. Some people like fakes. Stupid people. Anyways, you don't have anything to loose. I think he would still be your friend even if he didn't want to date you. It seems as if he cares a lot. That's good. I'm not going to give you advice about how to specifically "woo" someone. You know them best. What they like, don't like. Type only has so much to do with it. You have the advice of other ISTJ males here and those that have married or dated them. Take that and run (Yes, I know it's hard. Do it anyway. Grow.). Ignore the ENFP for a second [kyuuei - ]. Just go for it. Like you might any other guy. You care about him, you are attracted to him. He, from my stand point, cares and is possibly attracted to you too. You don't have anything to lose. You have a closer friend to gain.
    - Caleb

    "I am what I need to be..."

    "Nemo me impune lacessit - No one provokes me with impunity."

  2. #32
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Hm. I'm reading all these detail oriented responses to the OP.. =( but the question was also "How does one go about wooing the ISTJ?" Which none of you ISTJs seemed to have a particular answer towards.

    Does it take the woman instigating?

    Are ya'll good at picking up body language?

    Is there a particular "do NOT do this if you're interested in me" sort of thing??
    Kyuuei... you take all of our [ISTJ] answers, and roll them up into one girl. Then you be yourself and PRESTO! You have the perfect ISTJ wooing machine!

    For every ISTJ's action, the person of interest must respond with an equal to or greater than reaction!

    No, we SUCK at body language. Havn't we talked about this before?! I'm PRETTY SURE we have missy!!! And YOU were laughing at me!

    A "DO NOT" list? That's a thread in itself, lass!

  3. #33
    Senior Member uberrogo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eagle View Post
    It depends. It always depends. Honestly, just be yourself. We hate fakes. HATE. Some people like fakes. Stupid people. Anyways, you don't have anything to loose. I think he would still be your friend even if he didn't want to date you. It seems as if he cares a lot. That's good. I'm not going to give you advice about how to specifically "woo" someone. You know them best. What they like, don't like. Type only has so much to do with it. You have the advice of other ISTJ males here and those that have married or dated them. Take that and run (Yes, I know it's hard. Do it anyway. Grow.). Ignore the ENFP for a second [kyuuei - ]. Just go for it. Like you might any other guy. You care about him, you are attracted to him. He, from my stand point, cares and is possibly attracted to you too. You don't have anything to lose. You have a closer friend to gain.
    That being said, fake can mean different things to different people.
    If Men's Health magazine was true, you would never need to buy more than one issue.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Eagle's Avatar
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    Indeed uberrogo, but I conveyed my meaning. You know what I meant.

    Dave... We don't entirely suck, just typically more than everyone else.
    - Caleb

    "I am what I need to be..."

    "Nemo me impune lacessit - No one provokes me with impunity."

  5. #35
    Senior Member Amira's Avatar
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Amira
    HTH a little!

    :0

    What?
    Oops, sorry Tea. It is just short for "hope that helps."

    I agree with everyone - go for it, he sounds really smitten. The way he constantly pays attention to you is major for an ISTJ.

  6. #36
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Don't assume that ISTJs want someone "just like them". And don't assume an ISTJ is prudish or bookish or totally straight-laced -- i.e. 'boring'. ISTJ's really are attracted to EXFPs and colorul, fun, free-spirited people. I think ISTJs want to be with people who draw them out and loosen inhibitions.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  7. #37
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    I want someone like that all my to myself though. I could totally befriend an ExxP if we did stuff together and just the two of us. It'd be a blast. I'm just not the one for the big gatherings. I think that's the thing is I need an ExxP friend to hang out with a lot. It'd probably teach me a lot.


  8. #38
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tea Party View Post
    Note: All of these questions are regarding a male ISTJ, in case it makes any difference.


    What qualities do ISTJs most gravitate to in others? (In regards to a romantic relationship.)
    Well I was married to one, I have no idea why he gravitated towards me since eventually I became everything he hated in a woman and yet those were the things he loved best to start off with.


    How important is another person's physical appearance to an ISTJ?
    According to my ex ISTJ "not very important, after all he was with me right" (his words)


    How do ISTJs respond to unrequited love?
    Depends who is the unrequited one, he always felt his love for me was more real than my love for him, so in his eyes his love for me was unrequited regardless of what I did to try to alleviate this worry. This made him paranoid and possessive and manishly violent to any competition.

    Are ISTJs generally self-conscious/afraid of seeming creepy when talking to someone they are interested in romantically? Do they frequently (or ever) worry that their person of interest does not like them or does not trust them?
    In my experience yes, from what I heard of his last relationships I wasn't the only one to bear the brunt of his paranoia in regards to whether I liked and loved him enough.

    I think honestly it was because he didn't understand "just feeling love" he wanted a graph or pie chart of all the things I loved about him, and I couldn't give him that because I "just feel" for no real reason.


    Are ISTJs at all empathetic to other people who are shy around THEM?
    Yes, from what I have experienced the shyer the better, very understanding of shyness and very patient with it, if anything they find it endearing and very feminine (imho).


    Is it typical that an ISTJ would greet his hopeful love interest with great enthusiasm, but if said love interest ever greets HIM first, he would respond shyly?
    Umm, no, not with my ex istj. He would not greet me enthusiastically just incase I got the wrong idea....ie that he cared more than he wanted to show (his words). If I greeted him enthusiastically he took it badly and would accuse me of being false because obviously I didn't love him enough to show great enthusiasm.


    How big of a deal is it if an ISTJ shows a consistent interest/concern in another person's feelings/emotional well-being?
    I would say a pretty big deal, if you become a part of their concern, you are in.

    How likely is it that an ISTJ would be asked out by a good friend who they do not have romantic feelings for, but the ISTJ dates the good friend anyway out of pity, even if they are not interested in anyone, or have been romantically interested in someone else for a long time (but believe that their love is unrequited?) Could this be interpreted as an attempt to maintain "order" and "balance" in their lives by not hurting their friend's feelings? If the ISTJ tries to keep the relationship a secret, is this a clear sign that the relationship makes him uncomfortable?
    Not in my experience. My ex ISTJ had a friend who did love him alot, but he turned her down because she wasn't the right religion. I'm not sure if she had shown a willingness to convert whether or not he would have given it a go though.


    This is just my experience with an ISTJ, not all of them could be like this though.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  9. #39
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Don't assume that ISTJs want someone "just like them". And don't assume an ISTJ is prudish or bookish or totally straight-laced -- i.e. 'boring'. ISTJ's really are attracted to EXFPs and colorul, fun, free-spirited people. I think ISTJs want to be with people who draw them out and loosen inhibitions.

    Yes, initially they are drawn to that, like a moth to a flame really and we know what happens there.

    However in my experience those things that most attract them to start off with, the free spirit, the fun easy going fly by the seat of your pants attitude, the confidence, it all eventually led to a very horrible place.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  10. #40
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Yes, initially they are drawn to that, like a moth to a flame really and we know what happens there.

    However in my experience those things that most attract them to start off with, the free spirit, the fun easy going fly by the seat of your pants attitude, the confidence, it all eventually led to a very horrible place.
    Better off as friends. Give me an ISFJ any day as a girlfriend.


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