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  1. #21
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tea Party View Post

    Oh, he wasn't dating ME, haha. I am his supposed "unrequited love" in this case. (Except that it's not unrequited, I have loved him for a year.) I believe that he was interested in me at least at one point, but I was in denial for a long time and did not want to be in love, because I knew it would likely cause me a lot of emotional pain. (And it does!) :/ So my bashfulness mixed with my anxiety over dating essentially created an aloof demeanor that he interpreted as me disliking him, which I'm sure was of course very discouraging. (He once described it as being like "talking to a wall," which hurt me a lot, but probably not as much as it hurt him.) Then he started dating the other girl about six months ago, I was completely and utterly crushed (and honestly still continue to be.) But then he broke up with her, and he never stopped treating me the same way at any point.... so I'm trying to figure out if even now, after all this, he could possibly still be interested in me.
    My god, this is too damn cute/sweet. I'd encourage you to break out of your shell a little and lay your feelings on the table. Sounds like the time is right. You know what your feelings are and it looks good on his end as well. Also, he's out of a relationship... Don't look back and wonder what could have been. Take the risk. I know it's gotta be hard for a shy ISFJ. It's hard enough for a semi-shy ISTJ.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Shadow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beat View Post
    My god, this is too damn cute/sweet. I'd encourage you to break out of your shell a little and lay your feelings on the table. Sounds like the time is right. You know what your feelings are and it looks good on his end as well. Also, he's out of a relationship... Don't look back and wonder what could have been. Take the risk. I know it's gotta be hard for a shy ISFJ. It's hard enough for a semi-shy ISTJ.
    Yeah, good luck

  3. #23
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Tea, honey. You sound adorable. This guy sounds like he cares about you deeply, whether or not it's romantic. My advice is to tell him--and even if he doesn't like you, he'll most likely still want to be your friend. He'll probably be very touched and flattered either way, because it'll have taken a lot of guts for you to open up to him, and he knows it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

    And the best part? You'll never have to wonder about "what-if"s and "if-only-I-had"s. There'll be nothing left to regret, because you'll have put your feelings out for him instead of bottling them up. You'll feel so much better, I swear. Best of luck!

  4. #24
    Senior Member batumi's Avatar
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    I just married a wonderful ISTJ a bit over a week ago.
    Let me try to give your questions some feedback.

    I think most ISTJs like modesty, traditional cultural values, shared
    values and lifestyles, and introversion.
    Physical appearance is not that important.


    My ISTJ was not concerned about much except tenaciously pursuing
    me as a wife. I don't think he really worries about much at all.
    He kind of puts things out there and goes toward what he wants.
    He would be very empathetic to shy people around them, and was with me.
    I was initially quite shy, or actually private when with him.


    Is it typical that an ISTJ would greet his hopeful love interest with great enthusiasm, but if said love interest ever greets HIM first, he would respond shyly?

    Yes, exceptionally possible.

    How big of a deal is it if an ISTJ shows a consistent interest/concern in another person's feelings/emotional well-being?

    I don't think it is that big of a deal but I am unsure what you are asking.

    How likely is it that an ISTJ would be asked out by a good friend who they do not have romantic feelings for, but the ISTJ dates the good friend anyway out of pity, even if they are not interested in anyone, or have been romantically interested in someone else for a long time (but believe that their love is unrequited?) Could this be interpreted as an attempt to maintain "order" and "balance" in their lives by not hurting their friend's feelings? If the ISTJ tries to keep the relationship a secret, is this a clear sign that the relationship makes him uncomfortable?

    Wow, a lot of stuff there. I don't see my ISTJ dating anyone out of pity
    but I do think he kept our relationship to himself for quite some time.
    It's not being uncomfortable, but being cautious. In fact I knew when he
    was getting serious because he began telling me about his family and how
    they knew about me.

    I am interested in your story and you are more than welcome to post it for me or send it to me here.

  5. #25
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Tea, I agree with the other's, it sounds like you both like eachother so go for it! Like the INFP said, even if he does NOT like you back (which I would find surprising) he would still want to be your friend. You havn't anything to lose!

  6. #26
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    TeaLike the INFP said, even if he does NOT like you back (which I would find surprising) he would still want to be your friend. You havn't anything to lose!
    I love how it's "the INFP." Like I'm some trespasser in the SJ community. *feels spy-like*

    You won't regret it, Tea! ISTJs are real nice guys, and I have faith you'll be happy no matter what happens! (I have to agree with d@v3, he sounds pretty interested. )

  7. #27
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbles View Post
    I love how it's "the INFP." Like I'm some trespasser in the SJ community. *feels spy-like*

    You won't regret it, Tea! ISTJs are real nice guys, and I have faith you'll be happy no matter what happens! (I have to agree with d@v3, he sounds pretty interested. )
    Sorry, I couldn't think of your name, so I used your type thing instead! No worries Bubbles. And yes, I am interested.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbles View Post
    Tea, honey. You sound adorable. This guy sounds like he cares about you deeply, whether or not it's romantic. My advice is to tell him--and even if he doesn't like you, he'll most likely still want to be your friend. He'll probably be very touched and flattered either way, because it'll have taken a lot of guts for you to open up to him, and he knows it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

    And the best part? You'll never have to wonder about "what-if"s and "if-only-I-had"s. There'll be nothing left to regret, because you'll have put your feelings out for him instead of bottling them up. You'll feel so much better, I swear. Best of luck!
    Tea,

    as a certified ISTJ. Bubbles hit it REALLY on the spot (don't understand how she reads us). Just SHOW or even better, TELL him about your feelings. it will all work out fine. Believe the ISTJ.

    And you can thank Bubbles on the way because this ISTJ wouldn't have bothered to reply if it wasn't for her INFP-type with which I would have liked to get a chance, but my INFP was too.... (yea, what was she? Too much on the rebound/scared/whatever? Complex type, but us ISTJ's don't like the shallow ones, we're too deep ourselves....)

    And, you really sound adorable, you know....

    and -on another topic - Bubbles, where are YOU from?

    (Tea, don't be mistaken by my humour, this guy really digs you, believe me)

  9. #29
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Sorry, I couldn't think of your name, so I used your type thing instead! No worries Bubbles. And yes, I am interested.
    Haha, that sounded odd, didn't it? I meant the guy who you like, Tea, I think HE'S interested! Not that d@v3 isn't interested, either. Haha!

    Quote Originally Posted by dux View Post
    Tea,

    as a certified ISTJ. Bubbles hit it REALLY on the spot (don't understand how she reads us). Just SHOW or even better, TELL him about your feelings. it will all work out fine. Believe the ISTJ.

    And you can thank Bubbles on the way because this ISTJ wouldn't have bothered to reply if it wasn't for her INFP-type with which I would have liked to get a chance, but my INFP was too.... (yea, what was she? Too much on the rebound/scared/whatever? Complex type, but us ISTJ's don't like the shallow ones, we're too deep ourselves....)

    And, you really sound adorable, you know....and -on another topic - Bubbles, where are YOU from?

    (Tea, don't be mistaken by my humour, this guy really digs you, believe me)
    Aw, well thank you. It's nice to be vindicated by someone who's actually an ISTJ. (If you must know, I based it off experience with NFs--we may not be exactly like you SJs, but we're alike in the sense that we don't like to hurt people without cause. We're both just awesome like that. ) And as for your edit, , ahaha, I think I might be a little young for you, dux. But keep on looking: there are plenty of INFP gals waiting to be swept off their feet.

  10. #30
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Hm. I'm reading all these detail oriented responses to the OP.. =( but the question was also "How does one go about wooing the ISTJ?" Which none of you ISTJs seemed to have a particular answer towards.

    Does it take the woman instigating?

    Are ya'll good at picking up body language?

    Is there a particular "do NOT do this if you're interested in me" sort of thing??
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