Indeed, Habba said it! But he ought to know better than to just hang out with other girls? Have you told him (in simplest terms possible) how it makes you feel when he does this? For instance, don't just say "I don't want you talking to them" you should say "this makes me feel bad when you talk to them" or something along those lines.
THEN he will get the picture and hopefully stop or come to a compromise. It's a good thing though that he offered you his facebook password, that means he is not hiding anything! Besides, ISTJ's are fiercely loyal, I really don't think you have a problem.
Just tell him eaxctly how you feel. We aren't that good at interpreting feelings without words attached!
Hey there, thanks for taking time to reply.
He doesn't 'hang out' with other girls, just talks to them every now and then online I guess or in emails. His one ex I guess calls him for holidays.
I have told him how I 'feel' and this is a no-compromise situation for him. It's bascially I accept it or I don't know what else... the highway I guess.
Anyway, I do feel better after reading how loyal ISTJ's are. I know he's fiercely loyal to his family....
Maybe it's a male ISTJ thing, because I totally know how you feel and one of my relationships was pretty much ruined by my jealousy. I don't regret it though. There's a right way and a wrong way to stay friends with exes. The wrong way is to prioritise them over you and if their deep communications seem to be directed at their other female friends rather than you. The right way, as my ISFJ boyfriend succeeds in doing (maybe it's a male SJ thing??), is to be friends with them, but to make it clear in his actions that you're far more important.
Leaving aside types for a moment, I really believe that good relationships are when the two halves of the couple are complicit i.e. best friends (if they have a best female friend who seems more important than you I'd stay well clear) and where your priorities and interests are the same i.e. each other. I wouldn't get jealous if his exes are clearly just friends and he hangs out with them from time to time, preferably in the company of their mutual friends, but if it's starting to feel like three's a crowd... I'd get out of there.
Just for information, as a female ISTJ I have completely cut ties with all my exes. Combination of reasons: painful to see them again, the following boyfriend not wanting me to stay friends with them, or we just fell out so badly I never wanted anything to do with them again.
Oh, and giving you the password to his facebook is a very good sign that he trusts you and is probably his way of letting you know that you can trust him reciprocally. Plus, the fact you haven't used it proves to him that his trust is well placed.
I couldn't have said it better. I feel the exact same way.
What are you feeling that you are missing in this relationship?
I think all jealousies come from this kind of "missing out" feeling.
And I do think, at least in my experience, that it is somewhat normal for
ISTJ men to sort of want to keep in touch with people from the past.
My tendency is to think it is part of that historical thing they do, you know?
They are SJ and live in the past, we are NF and live in the future.
It's tough though. I have said to my ISTJ, wow, how can I possibly
matter in only 5 or ten years, when some people in your life go back
Try spending more time on your own past and remembering what you
are about, what you are good at, what you love.
I am an ENFP female and I am in touch with ALL my ex-es too and I refuse to give them up. Infact the only reason I almost always seem to go for IxTJs is because they seem to understand my need to hold onto that!