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  1. #11
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Well, as long as you can be blunt about your own feelings (when necessary), it really shouldn't be that hard! It's all about communication lass!
    But... but... people are supposed to just KNOW our feelings you know! Come on Dave!
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  2. #12
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    But... but... people are supposed to just KNOW our feelings you know! Come on Dave!
    LOL! I know... I forgot you xNFP's just expect us to have an innate all-knowing F.

  3. #13
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    LOL! I know... I forgot you xNFP's just expect us to have an innate all-knowing F.
    I don't expect you to have an all knowing F. This is why I tell people how I feel. And why everyone else should too. It prevents mass confusion and conflict, so why not? When you're in a relationship you're going to be vulnerable anyway, so why be afraid of expressing your feelings?

    Oh boy, derailed.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  4. #14
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OregonENFP View Post
    He does VERY MUCH like to be in control. More than any human being I know. Even to the point where he tries to get me to stop wearing make up and so fourth. I know this is an ISTJ trait but I didn't realize how much it would be like this. We've been friends for 8 yrs or more at this point.

    I'm an ENFP/INFP depending. (More E).

    The pull of him on me is very strong. His personality seems to dominate me. I almost feel like I've been put under a spell....
    that's the problem...it's a constant power struggle. he wants to lead. he thinks he knows best. you want to be left alone to do things your way so your constantly bumping heads...and it never ends....ahhhh!

  5. #15
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    The particular ISTJ described could well be egoistic. In the larger context of all ISTJs or any particular type, MBTI seems to not account for egocentricity. A person who bases their world view on self can reinterpret any MBTI category. Take any category and compare two individuals with the same type, one who is ego-centric, and the other who isn't and you have two profoundly different ways of perceiving, processing, and acting upon the world. It is a significant aspect of human nature that is not accounted for in MBTI categories from what I can tell. It might be that if you take two egoistic ISTJs, you will find more similarities than a egoistic person from two different types.

    My point is that it is more accurate to explore how egocentricity manifests itself in the ISTJ type, and not whether all ISTJs are egoistic by their nature.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  6. #16
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    The particular ISTJ described could well be egoistic. In the larger context of all ISTJs or any particular type, MBTI seems to not account for egocentricity. A person who bases their world view on self can reinterpret any MBTI category. Take any category and compare two individuals with the same type, one who is ego-centric, and the other who isn't and you have two profoundly different ways of perceiving, processing, and acting upon the world. It is a significant aspect of human nature that is not accounted for in MBTI categories from what I can tell. It might be that if you take two egoistic ISTJs, you will find more similarities than a egoistic person from two different types.

    My point is that it is more accurate to explore how egocentricity manifests itself in the ISTJ type, and not whether all ISTJs are egoistic by their nature.
    excellent point...the one i know is but i wouldn't claim to know if others are...or i certainly don't mean to sound like i am.

    but...lots of people of different types have disproportionate egos and it manifests differently.

  7. #17
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I don't expect you to have an all knowing F. This is why I tell people how I feel. And why everyone else should too. It prevents mass confusion and conflict, so why not? When you're in a relationship you're going to be vulnerable anyway, so why be afraid of expressing your feelings?

    Oh boy, derailed.


    We've analyzed all of the facts...



    And a relationship is just......not worth it.


  8. #18
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    I don't know if they're so much as egotistic as they are bad at interpreting people's feelings. I had one close ISTJ friend--but we fell apart due to misinterpretation. I'm similar to the OP in that I tried to be the passive one, afraid to invoke some sort of anger in the ISTJ. This is where I messed up.

    If you don't let someone know you're upset about the comment they made on your religion, or that pet peeve of yours they constantly do, or that their rants drive you insane, then, by all means, they'll keep doing it. And when one day you just snap, they'll be stunned. It's not that he wants to be egotistic--it's just that he doesn't know how you feel.

    The dominant spell thing is an illusion. He wants to know what makes you tick, believe it or not. You just have to say something! ISTJs, for all their awesomeness, are not mind-readers.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Shadow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OregonENFP View Post
    He does VERY MUCH like to be in control. More than any human being I know. Even to the point where he tries to get me to stop wearing make up and so fourth. I know this is an ISTJ trait but I didn't realize how much it would be like this. We've been friends for 8 yrs or more at this point.

    I'm an ENFP/INFP depending. (More E).

    The pull of him on me is very strong. His personality seems to dominate me. I almost feel like I've been put under a spell....
    That is tooo controlling. It's one thing if he lets you know you don't need make-up because you look pretty without it, better even, it's another thing if he tells you not to wear it.
    As has been suggested, it's probably an egotistical thing rather than a type issue.

  10. #20
    Member OregonENFP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    Why do you think you're getting into more arguments as time goes on but not as much before? What has changed?
    Good question. I guess more serious issues have come up lately. Like making a real commitment and there are some serious 'issues' we've been discussing.

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