Hello there SJs! I have a question for you about an ESTJ girl I know - I posted a similar question a while back in the NF forum, but I'm curious to actually hear from Guardians on this, though of course any type's posts are appreciated :o)
So my fiance and I used to be friends with an ESTJ woman that he worked with. I had suspicions she was flirting with him and making moves and told him that, and so we eventually cut off the friendship with her and no longer hung out with her outside of work. Recently I learned that my suspicions were very accurate because some of our other friends at his work came to him and said that during that time period before I put my foot down and cut her out of our social life, she had been announcing to other people at their job that she planned to "get with him." Someone who is friends with us who she made that announcement to said to her, "But you know he has a fiance that he lives with and they've been together like 5 years" (which of course she knew, she and I had been friends -- or so I thought!). Her response was, "I don't care. I'm going to hook up with him" in a bragging-type tone. When my fiance (an ESTP) found out he was angry and confronted her. She denied it, but multiple people have confirmed that she was making those statements. My fiance is doing well as a manager in the company and now she wants back in our social circle I think because she views his friendship as a way to get ahead at work. So she tries to kiss our ass at work mixers -- it's not working of course, but she is definitely persistent.
Sooo... I am very perplexed by this girl and would appreciate any insights. Her unabashed attempt to hook up with someone in a relationship when she is supposedly "friends" with both he and his partner is bad enough (she has by the way, done this with other men at her work and was successful with many of them), but the fact that she announced her intended conquest to random coworkers -- some of whom are better friends with my fiance and I than they are with her -- is very confusing to me. I can't figure out what she was thinking, because that just seems reckless and has since led to her being something of a topic of gossip at work. I know most ESTJs are not like her. I get along well with the other ESTJs in my life -- they seem like principled people who don't use their confidence, ambition, and assertiveness for evil.
So is this an example of ESTJ-ness gone awry? I'm debating whether to confront her the next time she approaches me now that I know how she basically made a public announcement about wanting to come between my fiance and I. Or maybe it's best to just ignore her. Your thoughts or any stories of similar situations are appreciated! I hope I'm not offending any ESTJs out there -- there are many ESTJs in my life who I love and admire and who are definitely not shady like this girl. I'm just wondering if Myers-Briggs can explain aspects of this wayward person's behavior because I am just baffled at what could be going on inside of her head. As an INFJ I'm usually good at understanding people but she really has me confused.