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  1. #31
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    My mother is ESFJ, father is INTJ. I just don't get what he sees in her. I'm not saying she's a bad person. It's just, they're on such different wavelengths. It must just be the opposites attract thing.
    Would you also wonder what she sees in him?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  2. #32
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    None of these supposed attributes of ESFJs sound anything like me, except for the talking frequently and the deep concern for others (even if they don't want it). I am completely convinced that there is massive mistyping going on.
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

  3. #33
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I'm going through a little phase with having esfj friends. I really appreciate their need to bring people together. They tend to be good event planners. They just want to have all their friends together and be happy. I noticed that whenever theres a fun event or trip going on, often its an ESFJ steering the wheel for planning. Its great.

    I hate 'em when they are cranky.
    They like to bang dishes while they are washing them and slam cabinet doors. (Well one in particular, atleast. ) Each of the others seem to have their own ways of making the world around them know that they are miserable and they are going to drag us all with them.

    On a brighter note, the same applies to a good mood!

  4. #34
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Would you also wonder what she sees in him?
    She said that my father really cared about her and it made her like him.


  5. #35
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    I'm going through a little phase with having esfj friends. I really appreciate their need to bring people together. They tend to be good event planners. They just want to have all their friends together and be happy. I noticed that whenever theres a fun event or trip going on, often its an ESFJ steering the wheel for planning. Its great.

    I hate 'em when they are cranky.
    They like to bang dishes while they are washing them and slam cabinet doors. (Well one in particular, atleast. ) Each of the others seem to have their own ways of making the world around them know that they are miserable and they are going to drag us all with them.

    On a brighter note, the same applies to a good mood!

    See, I don't do that at all, and one of my biggest pet peeves is when people take out bad moods on everyone else. Drives me up the wall.
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

  6. #36
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pure_mercury View Post
    See, I don't do that at all, and one of my biggest pet peeves is when people take out bad moods on everyone else. Drives me up the wall.

    I might add that I don't know any male esfj's.

  7. #37
    Senior Membrane spirilis's Avatar
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    A fairly recent addition to my local group of friends is an ESFJ and he's actually a really chill dude. One time at a party somewhere along the lines he got talking about religion and church groups and somehow I ended up talking about sociology for 3 hours well into 2AM with him.
    But I haven't found any ESFJ women in my group of friends yet. I've never really become close to any in the past but I've known some acquaintances, and somehow they had a way of making me timid of my own insecurities... guess I just wasn't used to or ready for their personality.

    Actually now that I think about it, a friend's mom is an ESFJ and she's an interesting lady, full of stories and advice 'n stuff. Oh yeah and she takes care of you no matter what, leaving no opportunity to say "aw you didn't have to!!" or similar. Like an alpha-mom figure. LOL
    intp | type 9w1 sp/sx/so

  8. #38
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    I might add that I don't know any male esfj's.

    Hmmm, I wonder if that makes a difference. I know that, when I get angry, I don't flip out and make no sense whatsoever. I focus like a laser and excoriate people for the things they did wrong, and I don't let them get off-topic. I've been told that experiencing me when truly angry/disappointed is like being broken down on the witness stand by the world's scariest prosecutor.
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

  9. #39
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    It might be good to note mercury that I don't relate to anything people say about their bad experiences with INFPs, or much of anything people say about female INFPs. I can see where they are coming from and give advice but I can't say I do much of it. I think gender plays a huge role in what you're like as a type, and also people's actions are relative to the individual.

    To add to the thread I think ESFJs are pretty cool. SJs in general I get along with well as friends. When ESFJs are mature they are great. A friend's mom is an ESFJ and I can talk to her about anything for hours on end. She's also very intelligent. I think that extroverts in general get milder as they age, and they get less annoying to introverted people.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  10. #40
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    It might be good to note mercury that I don't relate to anything people say about their bad experiences with INFPs, or much of anything people say about female INFPs. I can see where they are coming from and give advice but I can't say I do much of it. I think gender plays a huge role in what you're like as a type, and also people's actions are relative to the individual.

    To add to the thread I think ESFJs are pretty cool. SJs in general I get along with well as friends. When ESFJs are mature they are great. A friend's mom is an ESFJ and I can talk to her about anything for hours on end. She's also very intelligent. I think that extroverts in general get milder as they age, and they get less annoying to introverted people.

    I think I've actually gotten more extroverted as I've grown up. Of course, I am a weirdo.
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

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